Bad Jokes

[slacker]

Hows bout some one liners and other corny jokes that don't deserve their own thread but are still good for a laugh. Here's two to get it started.

 

Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart, she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.

 

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

She can't find the eleven.

[slacker]

hehe, I swear I am going to get myself heckled off this board. This one's bad:

 

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says: "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!"

Hugh replies: "Well Bill, you know ever since our incident, her price has skyrocketed, she's charging a small fortune."

 

Bill: "Hugh, money's no object to me. What's her number." So, Hugh gives Bill her number and Bill sets up a date.

They meet & after they finish, Bill is lying there in ecstasy, mumbling "God...now I know why you chose the name Divine."

 

To which she replies: "Thank you, Bill.....and now I know how you chose the name ..... Microsoft."

[slacker]

This one's really bad

 

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

 

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

 

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

 

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

 

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings"

 

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

 

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

 

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

 

.........You're gonna love this.........

 

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.”

[Blackshirt]

Holy crap Slackster.. you are cracking yourself up!!!

 

Well you certainly dont need any competition for worst jokes ever, but I'll do my best to live down to the low standard you have set....

 

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9!!!!

 

good stuff!!!

[slacker]

That one's really bad (good) but you got to love a good BAD joke. I'll admit, it doesn't take much to make me laugh, can ya tell

[Benard]

whatd one dog say to the other?

 

 

 

 

wanna bone?

[slacker]

whatd one dog say to the other?

 

 

 

 

wanna bone?

That suckes................. Get it?

[slacker]

Saw this and thought of AR Husker Fan. This bad jokes for you

 

 

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''

 

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''

 

Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''

[slacker]

I laughed when I read this one:

 

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.

 

"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."

 

The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.

 

"My, what big ears you have Mr. Wolf."

 

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.

 

"My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

 

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"

[DJR313]

Funny stuff slacker

 

Ok, I got one...

 

What kind of bees make milk?

 

 

 

 

BOOBIES ( o ) ( o )