papersun87 Posted March 21, 2008 Share Posted March 21, 2008 "I know what you're thinkin' . . . did he fire six shots, or only five?" Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Probably still my favourite line in any movie was by Slim Pickens in Blazing Saddles. [the lynch mob comes across a toll-booth in the middle of the desert] Taggart: Someone go back for a sh#t-load of dimes! More quotes from Blazing Saddles: Memorable quotes forBlazing Saddles (1974) [the Johnsons load their guns and point them at Bart. Bart then points his own pistol at his head] Bart: Hold it! Next man makes a move, the ****** gets it! Olson Johnson: Hold it, men. He's not bluffing. Dr. Sam Johnson: Listen to him, men, he's just crazy enough to do it! Bart: [lower register] Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this ******'s head all over this town! [higher register] Bart: Oh, lo'dy, lo'd, he's despit! Do what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy... [the Johnsons drop their guns. Bart jams the gun into his neck and drags himself through the crowd and towards the station] Harriett Van Johnson: Isn't anybody going to help that poor man? Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet, that's a sure way to get him killed! Bart: [higher register] Oooh! He'p me, he'p me! Somebody he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! [lower register] Bart: Shut up! [bart places his hand over his own mouth, drags himself through the door into his office] Bart: Ooh, baby, you are so talented! And they are so DUMB! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Go do that voodoo that you do so well! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I... Men: I... Hedley Lamarr: ...your name... Men: ...your name... Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks. [continues aloud] Hedley Lamarr: ... do pledge allegiance... Men: ...do pledge allegiance... Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr... Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr... Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*! Men: That's Hedley. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: A wed wose, how womantic. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Recalling his gunfighting career] Jim: I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Are we awake? Jim: We're not sure. Are we black? Bart: Yes, we are. Jim: Then we're awake, but very puzzled. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Here I stand, the goddess of desire / Set men on fire / I have this power. / Morning, noon, and night, it's dwink and dancing / Some quick womancing / And then a shower. / Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me / They always hound me, with one wequest. / Who can satisfy their lustful habits? / I'm not a wabbit. / I need some we... [Takes a breath] Lili Von Shtupp: ... est. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Church Congregation: [singing] Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion: / Our town is turning into sh#t. Amen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mexican Bandit: Badges? We don't need no stinking badges. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in one long guzzle] Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE. Jim: When? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'? Elderly woman: Up yours ******. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] I'm tired of men always coming and going, going and coming and always too soon. [spoken] Lili Von Shtupp: Right, girls? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character. [bart reaches for his gun] Jim: Oh no, don't do that. Bart: Why not? Jim: If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain] Bart: Stampeding cattle. Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime. Bart: Through the Vatican? Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinky. Sign here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: Uh-oh, Bart. I think Mongo here's taken a liking to you. Mongo: Huh-huh, naw, Mongo straight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: I got it. I got it. Hedley Lamarr: You do? Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em. Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one... Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course. Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women? Taggart: NAW. We rape the sh#t out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on. Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry, sir I didn't mean to overstep my bounds, you say that. Governor William J. Le Petomane: What? Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned. Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is? Hedley Lamarr: No, you say that, governor. Governor William J. Le Petomane: What? Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned. Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is? Hedley Lamarr: Here, sir, play with this. [Hands the governor a paddleball] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. Wha's your name? Tex: Tex, Ma'am. Lili Von Shtupp: Texmam? Well, tell me Texmam, are you in show business? Tex: Well, no, ma'am. Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off o' the stage. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [first lines] Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gabby Johnson: I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [the railway crew discover quicksand up ahead, and one of them offers to ride up ahead to check it out] Taggart: Horses? We can't afford to lose no horses. Send over a couple o' African-Americans. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Taggart spots Bart and Charlie on a hand-cart sinking into quicksand] Taggart: Oh, sh#t. Quick. [Lassos the hand-cart and drags it but not the men out of the quicksand] Taggart: Dang, that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred dollar handcart. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: Break's over, boys. Don't just lay there gettin' a suntan, ain't gonna do you no good anyhow. Now take this shovel and put it to some good use. [bart grabs a shovel and advances on Taggart from behind] Charlie: Don't do it, Bart. Bart: Uh-uh, baby, I have to. Taggart: [to Lyle] Now send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said [bart whacks him] Taggart: OW. Lyle: Send wire, main office, tell them I said ow, gotcha. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [the Governor is having trouble putting his pen back into its holder] Hedley Lamarr: Think of your secretary... [the pen goes straight in] Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you. That's a good one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death] Charlie: They said you was hung. Bart: And they was right. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Gabby Johnson (on the roof of the church) spots the new sheriff riding into town] Gabby Johnson: [shouting] The sheriff's a ******. [the last word is lost in the peal of a church bell] Harriett Van Johnson: What did he say? Dr. Sam Johnson: He said the sheriff is near. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Dr. Sam Johnson (with laurel wreath in hand) greets Bart (the new sheriff), reading from a piece of paper, not realizing that Bart is black] Howard Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a Laurel and Hardy handshake to our new [finally looks up] Howard Johnson: ... ******. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: You are my guest, and I am your host. What is your pleasure? What do you like to do? Jim: I don't know... play chess... screw... Bart: [quickly] Let's play chess. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: [on grandstand to the townspeople] Excuse me while I whip this out. [reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams; Bart pulls out paper, they sigh with relief] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: There might be legal precedent! Of course, Landsnatching... land, land, Land, see Snatch. Ah, Hailie vs. United Sates. Hailie: 7, United States: nothing. You see, it can be done! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Townspeople: There was once a peaceful town called Rock Ridge / Things were never nasty or obscene / Behind the bar stood Emil Johnson / He always kept things nice and clean. [Emil Johnson is standing behind the bar washing a beer mug; he spits into the mug, belches, and continues to wipe the mug] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [describing how everyone wanted to duel him when he was The Waco Kid] Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Lili von Schtupp has lured Bart back to her room] Lili Von Shtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people are... gifted? [Lights go out, sound of zipper opening] Lili Von Shtupp: Oh. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Lili Von Schtupp offers Bart a gigantic sausage] Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben? Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben. Lili Von Shtupp: Well how about a little... [whispers in his ear] Bart: [shocked] Baby. I'm not from Havana. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [to two members of the KKK] Jim: Oh boys, lookee what I got heyuh. Bart: Hey, where the white women at? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [bart and Jim are wearing KKK outfits to infiltrate the enemy's lynch mob] Jim: [spotting Bart's black hands] How many times have I told you to wash your hands after a weekly cross burning? [pretends to rub and flips it to its lighter pallm] Jim: See, it's comin' off. [Taggart whips off Bart's hood] Bart: And now, for my next impression, Jesse Owens. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [the lynch mob comes across a toll-booth in the middle of the desert] Taggart: Someone's gotta go back for a sh#t-load of dimes! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Jim the Waco Kid has just shot the guns out of the hands of a dozen henchmen] Bart: Don't just stand there clasping your hands in pain, looking stupid... How about a round of applause for The Waco Kid? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adolf Hitler: They lose me right after the bunker scene. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy Bizarre: Cut, cut, cut, this is a closed set. Taggart: Piss on you, I'm working for Mel Brooks. [Winds up to punch Buddy Bizarre] Buddy Bizarre: Not the face. Not the face. [Taggart complies, punching him in the stomach] Buddy Bizarre: [collapsing] Thank you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the Best Supporting Actor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: Another twenty-five years and you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f****s. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property - the rightful owners. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications? Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape. Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice. Applicant: I like rape. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Now, I suppose you're all wondering just what in the heck you're doing out here in the middle of a prairie in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. Crowd: You bet your ass. Bart: I'm hip. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention. Taggart: Ditto. Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: What's your name? Jim: Well, my name is Jim, but most people call me... Jim. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [last lines] Jim: Where you headed, cowboy? Bart: Nowhere special. Jim: Nowhere special. I always wanted to go there. Bart: Come on. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: I got it! I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge. Hedley Lamarr: How? Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household. Hedley Lamarr: ...Too Jewish. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir? Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down. [Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks] Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh#t-kickers and Methodists. Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reporter: Sir, those are dummies. Governor William J. Le Petomane: How do you think I got elected? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Where's my froggy? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: [shouting] We'll head them off at the pass! Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché. [shoots his foot] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reverend Johnson: Order, order. Goddamnit, I said "order". Howard Johnson: Y'know, Nietzsche says: "Out of chaos comes order." Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reverend Johnson: Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reverend Johnson: We will now read from Matthew, Mark, Luke... [stick of dynamite sails in through window] Reverend Johnson: ... and DUCK. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage... if I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very *appearance* would drive them out of town. [to camera] Hedley Lamarr: But where would I find such a man? [pause] Hedley Lamarr: ... Why am I asking you? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: [holding his own gun to his head] Nobody moves or the ****** gets it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: [gives her a bunch of flowers] For you, my dear. Lili Von Shtupp: Oh... how ordinawy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you, Hedy, thank you Hedley Lamarr: It's not *Hedy*, it's *Hedley*. Hedley Lamarr. Governor William J. Le Petomane: What the hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue *her*. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [repeated line] Lili Von Shtupp: Willkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome. C'mon in. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Well, raise my rent. You *are* The Kid. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Hedley is at Graumann's Chinese Theater] Female tourist: Look, Irv. I'm in Hedy Lamar's shoes. Hedley Lamarr: [running by] HEDLEY. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after meeting black pioneers] Indian Chief: Oy vey. They're darker than we are. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy's Singers: Throw out your hands. / Stick out your tush. / Hands on your hips, give 'em a push. / You'll be surprised; you're doing the French mistake. / Voila. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: [learning Bart is the new sheriff of Rock Ridge] Now if that don't beat all. Here we take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the West, and for what? So we can appoint a sheriff that's blacker than any Indian. I AM depressed. Lyle: Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that ****** dead? Would that pep you up some? Taggart: That might help... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Olson Johnson: All right, we'll give some land to the African-Americans and the chinks, but we DON'T WANT THE IRISH. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fear, and he conquered hate, / He turned dark night into day, / He made his blazing saddle / A torch to light the way... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Sir, he specifically requested two "African-Americans". Well, to tell the family secret, my grandmother was Dutch. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy Bizarre: Follow me, f****s! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Harriet Johnson reads her letter to the Governor] Harriet Johnson: [quietly] To the honorable William J. LePetomaine, Governor... Townspeople: Louder! We can't hear you! Harriet Johnson: I'm not used to public speaking... WE THE WHITE, GODFEARING CITIZENS OF ROCK RIDGE wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately. The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading a-hole in the state! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [bart is bidding farewell to the people of Rock Ridge] Bart: Work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now. I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West, wherever innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets, wherever a man cannot live in simple dignity, wherever a people cry out for justice. Crowd: [in unison] bullsh#t! Bart: All right, you caught me. Speaking the plain truth is getting pretty damn dull around here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: [Mongo walks down the street past a mannequin-like, penny-arcade-style "gunslinger" - Bart's voice is distorted and seems to be coming from the penny-arcade machine] I'm the marshal in this here town, and you're nothin' but a big fat ferret. [Mongo starts to pull his gun on the offending "marshal"] Bart: Hold it! If you wanna draw on me, put a quarter in the machine. [Mongo deposits a quarter in the appropriate slot] Bart: Ready? Now draw on the count of three. One, two... [Mongo is about to draw when the "marshal" falls away to reveal a cannon, which blasts Mongo in the face - we can now see that Bart has been throwing his voice with a bullhorn] Bart: ... Three. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: [dressed up as a carnival barker, Bart stands before a big sign, in front of the Rock Ridge town well] Step right up, ladies and gentlemen... and Mongos! Dive, dive, dive, for buried treasure! This is the exact spot where the Spanish Armada was sunk by the British Navy, leaving millions and millions of Spanish Dubloons at the bottom of the sea! Mongo: [excited] Spanish balloons? Bart: Right on! Mongo: Mongo take chance! Mongo: [bart has dressed Mongo up in an antique diving suit, complete with helmet and hose] Hey, how Mongo get air? Bart: [pointing out for him] From this wonderful antique pump. Good hunting! Bart: [Mongo has reached the bottom of the well and is looking around at...? Above, Bart lets the pump stop] Time for my lunch break. [a sign is lowered for Mongo: "For more air, deposit 25 cents"] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [at the campfire] Lyle: How 'bout more beans, Mr. Taggart? Taggart: [fans his hat in the air] I'd say you had enough! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Taggart: What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy's Singers: They hurt Buddy! Let's get 'em, girls! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [while Mongo is beating the hell out of a bar full of toughs, Bart walks in, dressed as a messenger boy and carrying a box] Bart: Candygram for Mongo! Candygram for Mongo! Mongo: Me Mongo. Bart: Sign, please. [Mongo grabs the paper and makes some rough scratches on it] Bart: Thank you. [He gives Mongo the box and walks out of the bar, putting his fingers in his ears] Mongo: Mongo like candy. [he opens the box - BOOM!] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scared Mexican Man: Mongo! Santa Maria! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lilly von Schtupp: Ah, who am I kiddin'? Evewything fwom the waist down, is Kaput! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyle: Now, come on, boys! Where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'! - When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Go on. How 'bout a good ol' ****** work song? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyle: [railroad workers are singing "I Get A Kick Out of You"] Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that sh#t? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lili Von Shtupp: Vhy don't you admit it? He's too much of man for you. I know. You're going to need an army to beat him! You're finished. Fertig! Verfallen! Verlumpt! Verblunget! Verkackt! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie: Hey Bart, is it me or is the world rising? Bart: I don't know, but whatever it is, I hate it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: [speaking to Boris out the window] Well, do you best. [hits his head on the windowsill] Hedley Lamarr: Ahh! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Land, land: see snatch. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Townsman: [being dragged through the street] Well, that's the end of this suit. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Governor William J. Le Petomane: Holy underwear! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Gentlemen, please rest your sphincters. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Governor William J. Le Petomane: [whistles] Have you gone beserk! Can't you see that man is a ni... [realizes he is talking to Bart] Governor William J. Le Petomane: Hahaha, wrong person. [goes back to lead Hedley the same way] Governor William J. Le Petomane: Have you gone beserk? Can't you see that man is a ni? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Elementary, cactus head. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: [Jim is trying to sit up from dangling on the ceiling] Need any help? Jim: Oh, all I can get. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Checkmate. Jim: What? Bart: Checkmate. Jim: Why, you devious son of a bitch. [picking up his whiskey bottle] Jim: Happy days. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy Bizarre: Action! Oh, wait till I get out! Wait till I get out! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: [bart comes in after spending the night with Lili Von Stupp] Oh deary dear. Look what the cat dragged in. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy Bizarre: [yells into the ear of an actor] WRONG! [hits the actor in the head] Buddy Bizarre: Watch me! It's so simple! Give me the playback! Watch me, f****s! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Buddy Bizarre: Is everybody ready? [the actors answer "yes"] Buddy Bizarre: Sounds like steam escaping. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: [to Bart] What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Hey, Charlie. What is it that's not exactly water and it ain't exactly earth?... Bart and Charlie: QUICKSAND! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bart: Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man? Howard Johnson: We don't care if it's the first act of Henry V, we're leaving! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: Alright, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar, the time has come to act and act quickly. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Olson Johnson: [in the bar discussing Pastuer's possible cure] Never mind that sh#t! Here comes Mongo! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after Taggart comes crashing through the commissary with food splattered all over him] Cashier: Yankee bean soup, coleslaw, and tuna surprise. [rings up register] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Governor William J. Le Petomane: We've gotta protect our phoney baloney jobs, gentlemen! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: [to Lili Von Stupp] Shut up, you Teutonic twat! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: [hurrying through the movie theater, but stops at the concession stand] Rasinettes! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hedley Lamarr: [cuts in line] You dropped your beads. One please... Uhh... Student? Cashier: Are you kidding? Hedley Lamarr: Pain in the ASS... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [as the townspeople point guns at Bart, the newly arrived sheriff] Reverend Johnson: Gentlemen, gentlemen, allow not hatred to rule the day. [holds up his Bible] Reverend Johnson: As your spiritual leader, I implore you to pay heed to this good book and what it has to say! [Townspeople shoot the Bible, blowing it apart] Reverend Johnson: [to Bart] Son, you're on your own. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim: Look at my hand [raises hand and holds it level] Bart: Steady as a rock. Jim: [raises other wobbling hand] Yeah but it shoot with this one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Olson Johnson: [trying to convince everyone to stay in Rock Ridge] What are we made of? Our fathers came across the prairies... fought Indians... fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix... remember when Richard Dix tried to take over this town? Well we didn't give up then... and by God, we're not gonna give up now! Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Double post... So I'll add Memorable quotes for Young Frankenstein for $500, Alex.. Where every time the name "Frau Blücher" was mentioned, the horses whinnied..(Later found out (Or led to believe) that "Blücher" was German for Glue (Factory)). [Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors where he sees a giant door knocker on each door] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers. Inga: Oh, thank you doctor. ----------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in? Igor: And you won't be angry? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry. Igor: Abby someone. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who? Igor: Abby Normal. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal? Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name. ------------------- Memorable quotes forYoung Frankenstein (1974) advertisement photos board trailer details Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [dreaming] I am not a Frankenstein. I'm a Fronkensteen. Don't give me that. I don't believe in fate. And I won't say it. [pauses] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: All right, you win. You win. I give. I'll say it. I'll say it. I'll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [From inside the haycart] Inga: Hallo. Vould you like a roll in ze hay? [Dr. Frankenstein stutters] Inga: It's fun. [she begins to roll in the hay] Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frau Blücher: Would the doctor care for a brandy before retiring? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. Thank you. Frau Blücher: Some varm milk... perhaps? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... thank you very much. No thanks. Frau Blücher: Ovaltine? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: NOTHING! Thank you! I'm a little - tired! Frau Blücher: Then I vill say... goodnight. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Goodnight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That music... Frau Blücher: Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the soul when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE vas making. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Then it was you all the time. Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You played that music in the middle of the night... Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: ...to get us to the laboratory. Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That was YOUR cigar smoldering in the ashtray. Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: And it was you... who left my grandfather's book out for me to find. Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: So that I would... Frau Blücher: Yes. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Then you and Victor were... Frau Blücher: YES. YES. Say it. He vas my... BOYFRIEND. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers. Inga: Oh, thank you doctor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in? Igor: And you won't be angry? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry. Igor: Abby someone. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who? Igor: Abby Normal. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal? Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? [shakes and grabs him] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Dr. Frankenstein leans in for a kiss] Elizabeth: Taffeta, darling. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Taffeta, sweetheart. Elizabeth: [pulling away] No, the dress is taffeta. It wrinkles so easily. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What a filthy job. Igor: Could be worse. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How? Igor: Could be raining. [it starts to pour] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: Dr. Frankenstein... Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen." Igor: You're putting me on. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen." Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No...”Frederick." Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen." Igor: I see. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor] Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor." Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor." Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inga: Werewolf! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf? Igor: There. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What? Igor: There, wolf. There, castle. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way. Igor: I thought you wanted to. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to. Igor: Suit yourself. I'm easy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Medical Student: Isn't it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extrordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti? [the class laughs] Medical Student: Why, the worm, sir. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm... with very few exceptions... is not a human being. Medical Student: But wasn't that the whole basis of your grandfather's work? The reanimation of dead tissue? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My grandfather was a very sick man. Medical Student: But as a Fronkensteen, aren't you the least bit curious about it? Doesn't the bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue to you? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind! Dead is dead! Medical Student: But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys... Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Hearts and kidneys are tinker toys! I am talking about the central nervous system! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What is this place? Igor: Music room? [tunes violin] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you ready? Igor: Are you sure this is how they did it? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can! Igor: What's the hurry? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There's a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand? [no answer, shouts] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I said, there is a possibility of electrocution! Do you understand? Igor: [suddenly appears next to Fredrick] I understand. I understand. Why are you shouting? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: What is this? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwald Kirchetort. The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent. Igor: Who are you talking to? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To you. You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert. Igor: I didn't make a yummy sound, I just asked you what it is. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But you did. I just heard it. Igor: It wasn't me. Inga: It wasn't me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, now look here. If it wasn't you, and it wasn't you... [he asks himself] The Monster: [off-camera] Mmmmmm! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: Sed-a... Inga: Sed-a... Igor: Dirty word! He said a dirty word! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Sit down, won't you? [igor sits on the floor] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, no, up here. [igor gets up onto a stool] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Gone! Gone! We've got to find him, you understand? We've got to find him before he kills someone! What have I done? Oh God in Heaven! What have I done? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My fellow scienti... Audience: Ssssssssssssssss! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: ...tists... and neuro-surgeons, ladies and gentlemen. A few short weeks ago coming from a background, believe me, as conservably and traditionaly grounded in scientific fact as any of you, I began an experiment in... incredulous as it may sound... the reanimation of dead tissue. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Please! Remain in your seats, I beg you! We are not children here, we are scientists! I assure you there is nothing to fear! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Please, I beg you! For safety's sake, don't humiliate him! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frau Blücher: I came to tell you that your fiance should be arriving any second! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [shirtless] Elizabeth! Here, tonight? Frau Blücher: I suggest you put on a tie! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elizabeth: No tongues. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Have all the preperations been made for the transference? Inga: Yes, doctor. Igor: Are you sure you want to go through with this? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It's the only thing that can save him now. Igor: You realize you're risking both your lives? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [plays a sour note] Yes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inga: Hold on to your hat! I'll be right back. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [literally holds onto his hat] I'm holding onto it, Darling! Inga: Just a few more seconds. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Damn your eyes. Igor: [to camera] Too late. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged. Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly. Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying. Inga: Voof. Igor: He's going to be very popular. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after sex with The Monster] Elizabeth: Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [upon seeing the monster's manhood] Elizabeth: Oh my God. Woof. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [in Victor Frankenstein's laboratory] Igor: [sings] I ain't got no body, and nobody cares for me. Yakka tak ta a yakka tak ta ha! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor. Igor: Froedrick. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How did you get here? Igor: Through the dumbwaiter. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump. Igor: What hump? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [as monster runs out the door] The Blindman: Wait. Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inspector Kemp: Vee had better confeerm de fect dat Yunk Frankenshtein iss indeed VALLOWING EEN EES GANDFADDA'S VOOTSHTAPS. Villagers: What? Inspector Kemp: Following in his grandfather's footsteps, footsteps, footsteps. Villagers: Ohhh. Footsteps. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I am a scientist, not a philosopher! You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel than you have of mending a broken nervous system! Medical Student: But what about your grandfather's work, sir? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My grandfather's work was doodoo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life! [jams the scalpel into his leg, lets go of the scalpel and it sticks upright out of his leg, grasps it again, then slowly crosses his legs to block the scalpel from view] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Class... is... dismissed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inspector Kemp: A riot is an ungly thing... undt, I tink, that it is chust about time ve had vun. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: Wait Master, it might be dangerous... you go first. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inspector Kemp: Let's all go have some sponge cake and a little wine... [his mechanical arm slips off] Inspector Kemp: and sh#t. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Friedrich arrives at the Transylvania station] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Pardon me, boy. Is this the Transylvania station? Shoe-Shine Boy: Ja, ja. Track 29. Can I give you a shine? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: LIFE! DO YOU HEAR ME? GIVE MY CREATION... LIFE! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door. Inga: Yes, Doctor. Igor: Nice working with ya. [Dr. Frederick Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Let me out. Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inga: You haven't even touched your food. [Frederick explodes and slaps on his food] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There. Now I've touched it. Happy? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [singing] If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits... The Monster: 'UTTIN' ON THE 'IIIIITZ. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Inga from behind the bookcase] Put... the candle... back! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inga: Put... ze candle... *back*! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready? Inga: Yes, Doctor. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me. Inga: Now? Right here? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform. Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after failing to bring the creature to life] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nothing. Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our successes, with quiet dignity and grace. [starts beating up the creature] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Son of a bitch! Bastard! I'll get you for this! What did you do to me? What did you do to me. Inga: Stop it! Stop that! Stop it! You'll kill him! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I don't want to live. I do not want to live. Igor: Quiet dignity and grace [rolls eyes] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh... mama... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Eyegor. Igor: Froadrick. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Monster: For as long as I can remember people have hated me. They looked at my face and my body and they ran away in horror. In my loneliness I decided that if I could not inspire love, which is my deepest hope, I would instead cause fear. I live because this poor half-crazed genius, has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful and then, when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger, he used his own body as a guinea pig to give me a calmer brain and a somewhat more sophisticated way of expressing myself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to The Monster] Hello handsome. You're a good looking fellow, do you know that? People laugh at you, people hate you, but why do they hate you? Because... they are jealous. Look at that boyish face. Look at that sweet smile. Do you wanna talk about physical strength? Do you want to talk about sheer muscle? Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal? You are a God. And listen to me, you are not evil. You... are... good. [the Monster starts to cry, and Dr. Frederick Frankenstein hugs him] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: This is a nice boy. This is a good boy. This is a mother's angel. And I want the world to know once and for all, and without any shame, that we love him. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you how to walk, how to speak, how to move, how to think. Together, you and I are going to make the greatest single contribution to science since the creation of fire. Inga: [from outside] Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: MY NAME IS FRANKENSTEIN! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [as she holds a candle holder with 3 unlit candles] Frau Blücher: Stay close to the candles. The stairway can be... treacherous. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen and I just... followed it down. Call it... a hunch. Ba-dum chi. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well it seems as if our mysterious violinist has disa... [sees something] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: puh. Inga: Disa what? Igor: -ppeared. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Shh. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [the trio find an abandoned violin] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well this explains the music. Igor: It's still warm. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man.", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [following Igor's botched attempt to interpret Dr. Frankenstein's charade clues while being attacked by the monster] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: SEDA-GIVE? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frau Blücher: I am Frau Blücher. [horses whinny] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: My grandfather... was a very... SICK... man. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [after he brings the creature to life] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Alive! It's alive! It's alive! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frau Blücher: Good night, Herr Doktor. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Good night, Frau Blücher. [horses whinny] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: Where are you going? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To wash up. I've got to look normal. [his bowtie pops open] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: We've all of us got to behave normally. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: It's gonna be a long night. If you need any help with the girls, I'll be... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: HE'S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT'S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN! The Monster: RAAAAAAAA! Igor: Ixnay on the ottenray. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags. Igor: [imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I was talking about the luggage. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nice hopping. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igor: Two nasty lookin' switches over there, but I'm not going to be the first. Quote Link to comment
Husker_Power Posted March 22, 2008 Share Posted March 22, 2008 Just a couple of quotes from SNATCH Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London. [Avi arrives in London] Doug the Head: Avi! Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald f#*k. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats. Doug the Head: We've got sandy beaches... Avi: So? Who the f#*k wants to see 'em? I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend Franky, Doug. I'm gonna find him, and you're gonna help me find him, and we're gonna start at that fight. Avi: Eighty-six carats. Rosebud: Where? Avi: London. Rosebud: London? Avi: London. Avi's Colleague: London? Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary f'ing Poppins... LONDON. Customs official: Anything to declare? Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England. Or [Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van] Tyrone: I didn't see it there. Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a bag of f'ing peanuts, is it? Tyrone: It was a funny angle. [All three turn and look back at the truck] Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you. Quote Link to comment
I See Red People Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 "I eat pieces of $h!t like you for breakfast." "You eat pieces of $h!t for breakfast?" Quote Link to comment
jdinger23 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 "OO remember the time in class when i was lighting farts with a bunson burner and i singed my ballsack? I still can grow hair on my left nut" Jack Black in Saving Silverman Quote Link to comment
The_Big_Dowski Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 "I eat pieces of $h!t like you for breakfast." "You eat pieces of $h!t for breakfast?" Ahhh...Happy Gilmore.... "Go to your damn home, ball"! Quote Link to comment
huskernation20 Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 Meet the Parents: Dina Byrnes (Blythe Danner): I had no idea you could milk a cat. Greg Focker: Oh yeah, you can milk anything with nipples. Jack Byrnes: I have nipples Greg. Could you milk me? Quote Link to comment
I See Red People Posted March 28, 2008 Share Posted March 28, 2008 "The price is WRONG Bitch!" Quote Link to comment
True2tRA Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Grumpy Old Men: I wonder if you could tell me... ...where I could find Mr. Gustafson? Gustafson? Sorry. Mr. John Gustafson? That's right. You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson? Have you seen him? That man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging around those kinky strip bars... ...where men take their clothes off. If he's taken his medication. Medication? Without it, he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to trees. Believe me, he's a menace. Always drinking, fighting. Am I right? Quote Link to comment
RunMickeyRun02 Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Master Shake: Now this square is the... man. Meatwad: Ok. Master Shake: This circle here, that's a uterus. Meatwad: That's what it looks like? Master Shake: Up close yes this is lifelike drawing of the uterus. See the guy takes the car after his job to pick up the uterus at her house... Meatwad: Mmhmm. Master Shake: because she doesn't work unless she's sweeping up something. Meatwad: Wel... and where do they go? Master Shake: All the way... to a hotel... which definitely has cable... and that's where this trapezoid becomes hmm shall we say... hahaha entangled with the exposed and aerated crotches. Meatwad: And that there is the exposed crotches? Master Shake: I told you that's the chair and the spatula. Meatwad: I knew it. Master Shake: Congratulate yourself my friend... you have just been laid. Meatwad: Ooh... that feels good. Master Shake: Yeah, I never tire of it. -Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters You sir, are my new hero. Seeing the ATHF movie quoted totally made my morning. Quote Link to comment
MLB 51 Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 "Man, no, uh-- How about the future of rock and roll?" "Future of rock and roll. Bruce Springsteen is f'ing' it all up." "Can we have a check?" "Hey, shh, shh. Bruce Springsteen is f'ing' the whole thing up." "Bruce Springsteen?" Quote Link to comment
teachercd Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfcFrY4tY1Y Quote Link to comment
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