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"Meet the Bag Man" by SBNation


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I love this line....

 

Hey, how'd he get that ride? His uncle bought it. How did his uncle buy it? Paid cash. Paid cash, how'd he do that? sh#t, we don't know, but here's the receipt where he paid cash, and now y'all ain't got sh#t. Go tell the NCAA you think we're cheating because this kid's uncle bought him a used Tahoe in cash, you racist.
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I like this one:

 

"If you hear stories about bank accounts, they're fake. Why would there be a bank account? Yeah, I'm gonna open a checking account with statements someone could subpoena. Oh and hey, in this small town of however-many-thousands of people I'm gonna go in and open some account and then ask for a bunch of black teenagers to be put on there and ask for a bunch of debit cards they could get caught with. Why don't I just take out a f'ing ad?"

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Wow, this was well worth the read.

 

Rural Southerners make a habit of knowing each other's business. Chances are you'll become aware of and -- believe it or not -- friends with bag men for rivals schools. Not that there's such a concept of friends in love or war.

 

"It's a small group. If you grow up in the state, you end up knowing folks. It's really that simple. But that won't stop them from trying to bury your ass when it gets down to it. A few years back, we were fighting hard for a kid in their backyard. We went for a full year with the family, thought we had it wrapped up. Still thought we had it done the night before Signing Day. He liked our coaches. But the family keeps dragging it and dragging it. Late that night I get a call, and it's the player on the phone, the kid himself. You could tell he was nervous. He said, ‘Mr. [name], I talked to my mama, and we decided that $70,000 and we're going with you, if you can promise us $70,000 tonight.' I knew right away we were being recorded, and I knew the a-hole down there who had set it up. I knew him personally. They had him. That part was done. But they wanted to get someone on tape to try and turn it over to the NCAA. So I said, 'Well gosh [player name], we'd love to see you here next season, but we just don't do that kind of thing.' Then I hung up."

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And the closer...

 

It's also how lame duck coaching staffs are created. If a majority of bag men want a particular coach out and an A.D. or president won't make a move, they'll just dry up funds.

 

"The coach won't know exactly when we decide to make that happen, but they've got a good idea. Then we get to see just how damn good a recruiter he really is. I know one of our guys once stopped putting in big bucks, way more than what I do, just because a head coach cussed too much on the team plane. [The coach] was losing anyway, but because he took the Lord's name in vain, that guy was offended by his morality and stopped illegally paying college football players."

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"The coach won't know exactly when we decide to make that happen, but they've got a good idea. Then we get to see just how damn good a recruiter he really is. I know one of our guys once stopped putting in big bucks, way more than what I do, just because a head coach cussed too much on the team plane. [The coach] was losing anyway, but because he took the Lord's name in vain, that guy was offended by his morality and stopped illegally paying college football players."

 

 

 

Jesus.

 

This is awful.

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Hey the first commenter on this article included us on the list of schools who are likely doing this!

 

#relevant

If we are, we are doing it wrong because there hasn't been one 5 star outside of the state of Nebraska to commit here.

How far have we fallen?

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