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**Official 2014 FIFA World Cup Thread**


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We're about a month away from the greatest tournament in the world. Preliminary squads are just starting to be released. For all you soccer followers, here's a thread to talk about everything.

 

 

Brazil's squad

 

 

Goalkeepers: Julio Cesar, Jefferson, Victor

 

Defenders: David Luiz, Dante, Thiago Silva, Henrique, Dani Alves, Maicon, Marcelo, Maxwell

 

Midfielders: Luis Gustavo, Paulinho, Fernandinho, Ramires, Oscar, Willian, Hernanes

 

Forwards: Hulk, Bernard, Neymar, Jo, Fred

 

 

Germany's squad

 

 

Goalkeepers: Neuer, Weidenfeller, Zieler

 

Defenders: Boateng, Durm, Großkreutz, Höwedes, Hummels, Jansen, Lahm, Mertesacker, Mustafi, Schmelzer

 

Midfielders: Bender, Draxler, Götze, Goretzka, Hahn, Khedira, Kroos, Meyer, Özil, Reus, Schürrle, Schweinsteiger, Volland, Ginter

 

Forwards: Podolski, Klose, Müller

 

 

 

I'll update this post with more of the preliminary squads.

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Now that I am finishing up following my second full season of the EPL, this World Cup will be fun for me to watch since I am a lot more familiar with the internationals playing. With the lack of talent the US has I would hope we get at least 3 points from Ghana and anything more then that is a bonus for me. Gotta go with Brazil to win. Belgium is my darkhorse

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England


Goalkeepers: Joe Hart (Manchester City), Ben Foster (West Bromwich Albion), Fraser Forster (Celtic).


Defenders: Leighton Baines (Everton), Gary Cahill (Chelsea), Phil Jagielka (England), Glen Johnson (Liverpool), Phil Jones (Manchester United), Luke Shaw (Southampton), Chris Smalling (Manchester United).


Midfielders: Ross Barkley (Everton), Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Adam Lallana (Southampton), Frank Lampard (Chelsea), James Milner (Manchester City), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Arsenal), Raheem Sterling (Liverpool), Jack Wilshere (Arsenal).


Attackers: Rickie Lambert (Southampton), Wayne Rooney (Manchester United), Daniel Sturridge (Liverpool), Daniel Welbeck (Manchester United).


Standby: John Ruddy (Norwich City), Jon Flanagan (Liverpool), John Stones (Everton), Michael Carrick (Manchester United), Tom Cleverley (Manchester United), Andy Carroll (West Ham United), Jermain Defoe (Toronto FC)


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  • 5 weeks later...

The Hater’s Guide To The 2014 World Cup

 

Now I am like most insufferable Americans in that I am only occasionally interested in soccer and am annoyed by soccer fans constantly expressing passion for their sport. Watching soccer is like watching 11 Justin Biebers play 11 Justin Biebers. That said, I will forever respect the sport's ability to generate HATE. The fact is that many soccer fans go to games specifically to hurt one another. I don't even think they know a game is being staged. They just want to find someone to shoot with a flare gun. And that's a fine sport by me.

So, in the spirit of worldwide xenophobia and terrifying displays of violent nationalism, let's go ahead and say HORRIBLE things about every single country participating in the tournament this year. As always, I did no research for this Hater's Guide. These observations are made strictly out of ignorance and blind anger. I think that's what soccer would have wanted. If you have any quarrel with the facts presented herein, that means I've done my job expertly. There will not be any corrections.
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The Non-Soccer Fan's Guide To The 2014 World Cup

 

Hold on a second, did you say "match"? That's not right.

Yes, sh#t. Sorry. Basically, when we say the World Cup, what is really meant is The World Minus the US Cup, since Americans have historically never given a sh#t about football that wasn't nationalistically prefixed. We've been too busy jo'ing to helmeted heads pummeling into other helmeted heads while mainlining chicken wings to notice that the rest of the world has a different sports vocabulary. Here's a primer:

  • squad = team
    "The Italian national squad is full of giant pussies."

     

  • pitch = field
    "I smoked 40 cigarettes for breakfast and now it's very hard for me to run the full length of the pitch."

     

  • match = game
    "This match sure has a lot of crying players. Oh right, the Italians are playing."

     

  • boots = cleats
    "If you say one more bad thing about megalomaniac drug addict cheating footballer Diego Maradona, you might get an Argentine boot to the head."

     

  • footballer = soccer player
    "There is absolutely no reason why footballers can't just be called football players, except for Italian footballers, who should be called acting prima donna pussies."

Those are probably all the terms you need to know, if only not to sound like a twerp. But like I said, you can still say "soccer" unless you are watching the matches abroad. (Abroad = not in America.)

 

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