'Mansplaining'

[Moiraine]

2 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

I do see what you're saying. For the life of me, I can't see it any other way than ridiculous that people would actually be offended by that. 

 

 

Not sure what you're saying here. People are offended by being called c*******r, and people say it to other people to be a**holes.

I didn't say I was offended that giving blow jobs was used as an insult. I said it was something I think about sometimes when I see that word. That a (mostly) female act is considered an insult but the (mostly) male version isn't.

I also said if giving blowjobs wasn't ever considered demeaning, it wouldn't be used as an insult.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

Not sure what you're saying here. People are offended by being called c*******r, and people say it to other people to be a**holes.

I didn't say I was offended that giving blow jobs was used as an insult. I said it was something I think about sometimes when I see that word. That a (mostly) female act is considered an insult but the (mostly) male version isn't.

 

Gotcha. I just don't see why it matters I suppose. I doubt that calling my buddy a c***sucker (which of course I have), is holding back women's progress in this country/world.

 

And, I know you're going to say "I didn't say it did c**tlicker" To which I would say, "Then why does it matter"

[Moiraine]

Next time you should see him you should say you're not allowed to say that word anymore and then explain the super enlightening conversation we had, heh. And then call him an anal polyp.

[B.B. Hemingway]

9 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

Next time you should see him you should say you're not allowed to say that word anymore and then explain the super enlightening conversation we had, heh. And then call him an anal polyp.

 

I have a colonoscopy next month. Now I'm offended.

[zoogs]

BB, I think you don't see why it matters because it's not a direct putdown of your identity. You (and I) never really feel the impact of being in a world where people constantly use "like a woman" (and all its variants) as a generic putdown. Not only that, it's a world where people will go to lengths to defend this status quo, which is precious to them without their even realizing it.

 

The appropriate analogy would be if people derided other people by insinuating they were like men who had sex with women, with everyone "getting" that this is a shameful suggestion. Pretty ludicrous scenario, I know. It's so far out of reality that it's impossible to actually imagine.

 

*We do regularly talk about men having sex with women and of course, it gets associated with awe and respect instead -- in direct proportion to the amount of women and the degree to which they're objectified in the course of it. I mean, we come from a tradition of marginalizing women in society. But we have also, genuinely, come a long way from it. We've progressed enough to recognize this s#!t when it happens and know the parts of our tradition we should be letting go of, instead of blindly perpetrating. In particular we are more conscious than ever before of how "that's a small thing", "people are being ridiculous", etc, are and have always been deployed as permission for ignoring/dismissing important, real talk. But sure, this term isn't the biggest deal in the world, and I don't know that anyone ever claimed it was. It is, however, quite emblematic. That shouldn't be hard to see.

 

We don't get to call problems solved while not living up to the lofty standards we like to proclaim are universal. In similar vein, I'm noticing this rather unfortunate line in your sig: "White privilege is a fallacy." Strength is rising above the easy outs.

[girlknowsfootball]

18 hours ago, Landlord said:

Anecdotally, here on huskerboard, think about  @girlknowsfootball. Have never in my time here been like "lol that's a weird and unnecessary username"

 

Would certainly be odd if there was a poster named manknowsfootball  

It's my username because I am a female who feels I have a pretty above average understanding of football compared to other females. I can keep up with the guys just fine  

[Enhance]

Just spent some time reading through this thread. In reference to this comment:

 

16 hours ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

I doubt that calling my buddy a c***sucker (which of course I have), is holding back women's progress in this country/world.

 

Is the individual, one time example of you using that language with your buddy holding women back in the world? Probably not. Overall, it's a more minor issue in the scope of gender equality. In my opinion, however, it is an example of a relatively constant and pervasive piece of the puzzle. We have a lot of unfair societal "norms" or situations that often subtly or directly demean people of different genders, races, etc. They may seem trivial but they hint at an overall larger problem, much like your check engine light briefly turning on and then off hinting at the possibility that there might actually be something wrong with your car.

 

I think Moiraine is spot on in her assessment of these discussions, particularly the part about frequency and intent in relation to the above example.

[BigRedBuster]

19 hours ago, Moiraine said:

Licking c**t means a man got laid. Sucking c*** is seen as demeaning.

Why the difference?

[BigRedBuster]

19 hours ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

 

Not nearly as often as see women in ads where they're trying to show how easy the product is to use. This can be anything from yard work, to power tools, to creating a website.

Look at the percentage of comedies have the husband or guy being the idiot and the woman is the smart/normal one.

[Fru]

[Enhance]

This isn't about 'who's got it worse' in the gender equality debate.

[Landlord]

2 hours ago, Enhance said:

They may seem trivial but they hint at an overall larger problem, much like your check engine light briefly turning on and then off hinting at the possibility that there might actually be something wrong with your car.

 

 

Good analogy.

 

These sorts of things being talked about aren't a problem in and of themselves (usually), the same way that a light on your dash isn't actually a problem. It's a warning sign and a symptom of the actual fundamental problem.

[zoogs]

The sheer degree of resistance kind of illustrates the point.

 

But yes, let's absolutely go down the road of talking about women and their portrayal in popular culture. It's not going to flatter your side in this argument, even though media (TV moreso than cinema) tends to attempt to be more progressive. For starters, it's interesting that "chummy averageman husband who is the lovable, relatable protagonist" and "hypercapable woman" is viewed as evidence of equality. Can it be the other way around? Do protagonist women even get to be [with notable, trailblazing exceptions perhaps] average-looking dummies? (Reflects a larger aspect of society as well, and the role that looks plays)

[Moiraine]

1 hour ago, BigRedBuster said:

Why the difference?

 

That's the question.

[BigRedBuster]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

That's the question.

I guess my side of the question is....why do women feel their side of this equation is automatically demeaning?

Now, I fully understand that any sexual act can be demeaning to someone involved.  But, that has more to do with the attitude in the relationship than the actual sexual act.

 

So....why do women feel this is automatically demeaning while a man automatically feels our side of the equation is not?