'Mansplaining'

[B.B. Hemingway]

9 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

Something as simple as looking into the effect that ads or TV programming have on people subconsciously, people who think they're invulnerable to that bulls#!t, should be enough to make you consider that there is an impact of things like that.

zoogs kinda covered it with the picture he showed, but we grow up in a society where women are called bitches for the things men are praised for doing. My example may have been a little silly compared to that but I don't think it's nothing. I can't think of an example for males.


We're not even close to the point where that's the only problem. So I don't get the joke.

 

Jesus. There was no actual joke (I guess I should of said half-heartedly or tongue-in-cheek). You kind of hinted at my point, though. If there are bigger issues facing women (and there are) why does the other stuff with little-to-no impact get talked about so much?

[Moiraine]

5 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

Jesus. There was not actual joke (I guess I should of said half-heartedly or tongue-in-cheek). You kind of hinted at my point, though. If there are bigger issues facing women (and there are) why does the other stuff with little-to-no impact get talked about so much?

 

 

Ok, I should have said I don't get the humor, but you said jokingly, so I said joke.

I didn't hint at your point though. When you have every day s#!t like this happen at a subconscious level and people don't even think about it, that's just more evidence that it's an issue. It's something people who aren't blatantly sexist do without realizing it. That's kind of important, imo. And why do you care if people point out little stuff? If someone points out big stuff, like the fact that 20% of congress is female, someone will say "oh, women just don't want to run. You're making something out of nothing." There's literally nothing anyone could post about the topic that wouldn't get disparaged.

It's easy to say that calling people gay as a diss doesn't matter if you're not gay.

It's easy to say calling people something that mostly women do as a diss doesn't matter if you're not a woman.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

Ok, I should have said I don't get the humor, but you said jokingly, so I said joke.

I didn't hint at your point though. When you have every day s#!t like this happen at a subconscious level and people don't even think about it, that's just more evidence that it's an issue. Why do you care if people point out little stuff? If I point out big stuff, like the fact that 20% of congress is female, someone will say "oh, women just don't want to run. You're making something out of nothing." There's literally nothing anyone could post about this topic that wouldn't get disparaged.

 

I don't care if people point out the "little stuff", I just think it's a waste of time, if not counterproductive. You certainly wouldn't get that response from me with your congress example. THAT is a real problem. Women being underrepresented in leadership roles all over the country. THAT is a real problem. Commercials with women using household appliances with ease? How someone feels about others being called a c***sucker? Not so much, in my mind.

[Landlord]

Disproportionate representation of women in Congress, and women being called bitches for the same behavior that we applaud in men, and "so easy a girl can do it" advertising campaigns, are all symptoms of the same thing.

 

We talk about all of them because they all point to the same underlying issue, and because change doesn't happen without people being made aware of the fact that change is needed. The "s#!t that doesn't matter" is the s#!t that humanizes the issue and puts it in a context that people can more easily understand and relate to.

[Moiraine]

8 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

I don't care if people point out the "little stuff", I just think it's a waste of time, if not counterproductive. You certainly wouldn't get that response from me with your congress example. THAT is a real problem. Women being underrepresented in leadership roles all over the country. THAT is a real problem. Commercials with women using household appliances with ease? How someone feels about others being called a c***sucker? Not so much, in my mind.

 

 

It's not counterproductive, because I'm posting it on Huskerboard, not speaking in front of the UN. I'm basically shooting the s#!t here and trying to get people to think. What is the point of posting about something everyone already knows about? How much of a conversation would there be there? Everyone knows about women being underrepresented in politics. Not exactly thought provoking conversation when everyone knows about it. It's like when someone comes on here and asks why we're not posting about a cold-blooded murder and are instead posting about a police officer shooting someone. It's because 99% of people know that what the murderer did was awful and psychopaths will always exist.

You're basically telling me to only talk about something everyone already agrees with and supports and generates no discussion or thought whatsoever. What I'm doing instead is posting about something that probably 70% of women and 90% of men have never thought about.

[B.B. Hemingway]

10 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

It's easy to say that calling people gay as a diss doesn't matter if you're not gay.

It's easy to say calling people something that mostly women do as a diss doesn't matter if you're not a woman.

 

I don't know if you're gay or not, but I know you're a woman. Does it bother you if a man calls another man c***sucker? If so, why?

 

I sure wouldn't (nor any man that I know) be offended if a woman called another a c**tlicker (to your earlier reference). Maybe if my children were standing by.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

It's not counterproductive, because I'm posting it on Huskerboard, not speaking in front of the UN. I'm basically shooting the s#!t here and trying to get people to think. What is the point of posting about something everyone already knows about? How much of a conversation would there be there? Everyone knows about women being underrepresented in politics. Not exactly thought provoking conversation when everyone knows about it. It's like when someone comes on here and asks why we're not posting about a cold-blooded murder and are instead posting about a police officer shooting someone. It's because 99% of people know that what the murderer did was awful and psychopaths will always exist. The police shooting is something that can potentially be prevented in the future and there's actually something to discuss.

You're basically telling me to only talk about something everyone already agrees with and supports and generates no discussion or thought whatsoever.

 

No, I'm not. I felt you were presenting the "little stuff" as actual problems. I disagreed with you, saying those were not real problems, then went on to state what I felt were legitimate issues facing women.

 

Our back and forth started with me commenting on the little stuff.Carry on with your conversation. Hell, we're having one right now!

[Moiraine]

10 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

I don't know if you're gay or not, but I know you're a woman. Does it bother you if a man calls another man c***sucker? If so, why?

 

I sure wouldn't (nor any man that I know) be offended if a woman called another a c**tlicker (to your earlier reference). Maybe if my children were standing by.

 

 

The better question is why wouldn't you be offended if a woman called another one a c**tlicker? Maybe because that word hasn't been used over and over and over throughout your life to put people down, and it's just a sex act that mostly men do.


But to answer the question, no. I'm not very easily offended. I've never used the word myself though. I'd probably think they're immature and/or stupid. And I don't think that action should be considered demeaning whereas the other just means a guy scored.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

The better question is why wouldn't you be offended if a woman called another one a c**tlicker? Maybe because that word hasn't been used over and over and over throughout your life to put people down, and it's just a sex act that mostly men do.


But to answer the question, I'm not very easily offended. I've never used the word myself though. I'd probably think they're immature and/or stupid. And I don't think that action should be considered demeaning whereas the other just means a guy scored.

 

They're the exact same insult! Just because one has been used more traditionally should make it any more offensive. 

[Moiraine]

Just now, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

They're the exact same insult! Just because one has been used more traditionally should make it any less offensive. 

 

 

They're not though. That's the issue. Neither should be an insult. One is, the other isn't. If performing cunnilingus was considered demeaning, it would actually be used as an insult.

[B.B. Hemingway]

3 minutes ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

They're not though. That's the issue. Neither should be an insult. One is, the other isn't. If performing cunnilingus was considered demeaning, it would actually be used as an insult.

 

That's absurd. But, I find most of the going-on's in the world to be so nowadays.

[Moiraine]

4 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

 

That's absurd. But, I find most of the going-on's in the world to be so nowadays.

 

 

It's only absurd because you've heard c********r as you were growing up, so it's subconscious. It's used as an insult because it's considered a demeaning act, or was when it started being used. Why do you think it's almost exclusively used as a diss for men? Why is telling someone they give blow jobs considered an insult? Why do people not say people lick female parts as an insult?

One's doing something considered demeaning (at least once a upon a time), the other is a hero to other males.

[B.B. Hemingway]

Again, it's frequency of use doesn't change that the two insults (or statements/accusations?) are the same. 

[Moiraine]

3 minutes ago, B.B. Hemingway said:

Again, it's frequency of use doesn't change that the two insults (or statements/accusations?) are the same. 

 

 

Yes it does. I've NEVER heard the one that I just made up here. I've never heard of or heard anyone tell someone they lick c**ts as an insult. Only the act that's done almost exclusively by women is used that way. I don't see why this is so hard to see. Call it a minor issue if you want, that's fine. I actually agree with that. But this is a great example - it's so ingrained that people don't think of it in this way. It's subconscious.

This is the type of thing that just IS. It's just a difference for women that men and many women don't even consider.

[B.B. Hemingway]

1 minute ago, Moiraine said:

 

 

Yes it does. I've NEVER heard the one that I just made up here. I've never heard of or heard anyone tell someone they lick c***s as an insult. Only the act that's done almost exclusively by women is used that way. I don't see why this is so hard to see. Call it a minor issue if you want, that's fine. I actually agree with that. But this is a great example - it's so ingrained that people don't think of it in this way.

 

I do see what you're saying. For the life of me, I can't see it any other way than ridiculous that people would actually be offended by that.