Bump when under the influence, formerly Bump when drunk

I'm making my debut here. What am I supposed to do? Run around nekkid? I guess I'm not drunk yet, but I will be soon. And let's face it, by then I'll forget to post.

 
i AM fuckgn hammered. Just called verizon at 3 am sh#t faced.. Got a new plan and a new pone. unlimited talk, unlimited txt, 2gb data, for 50 bucks a month. My current/former plan wkth my sh**ty flip phone and no internet/email with 450 mins, unlimeted text, and no data is 60 a month. Hahhahahahaha. And got a new blackberry to use with my data. They are PAYING me a 50 dollar bill credit to get a brand new smart phone and a better plan for cheapr. HOW ARE THEY IN BUSINESS???!?! Blows my mind.

 
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Two doubles in. About halfway there.

btw, I'm drinking George Dickel No. 8 right now. A Tennessee sippin' whiskey I really like. Last week I noticed that my local liquor store started carrying George Dickel White Corn Whiskey. Hmmmm, I though. That could be good. WRONG! It's the second worst booze I can remember tasting. (Third worst if you include the shot of rubbing alcohol I once drank.) The Dickel White Corn Whiskey is so bad I'm going to use the rest of the bottle as a f'ing cleaning solvent. Seriously. Absolutely the worst booze ever.

 
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I didn't call anyone, but I am drunk.
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