Interesting topic on 1620 (Parents of athletes)

[TAKODA]

The question and discussions were about how much control a parent should have when their young athlete is trying to select a University to attend. We have heard and seen where an athlete had committed to an institution only to have the parent take off and hide the LOI so it could not be signed. There is some talk that Blake McClain was ready to be a Husker but the parents wanted him to be a Gamecock and ultimately he signed the LOI with them.

As a parent myself, I can see where there needs to be some input by the parent but not to the extent that I ultimately would cause my kid to give up his dream of playing for a specific team. The reason I would say that the parents need to have some input is strictly because of the educational comparisons of the institutions,

I know we have a wide range (age groups) here at HB so I would like to hear what the opinions are here and why you have your opinion.

Edit: As it would pertain to you and your child if you have/had one in this position!

 

[Count 'Bility]

I have no problem with parental input. Howeverrrrrrrr. The motivation behind such input, that would be a whole 'nother ball game.

 

[knapplc]

That's a hard question to answer because all parents and athletes aren't created the same. Some of these kids aren't ready to make an informed life decision at that age. Some parents aren't, either. Hard to say definitively that THIS should happen or THAT should happen.

 

[Landlord]

That's a hard question to answer because all parents and athletes aren't created the same. Some of these kids aren't ready to make an informed life decision at that age. Some parents aren't, either. Hard to say definitively that THIS should happen or THAT should happen.

^ This. No sense in making a blanket statement as to the right way to go about it because people are too different.

 

[TAKODA]

That's a hard question to answer because all parents and athletes aren't created the same. Some of these kids aren't ready to make an informed life decision at that age. Some parents aren't, either. Hard to say definitively that THIS should happen or THAT should happen.

I agree Knapp and I should have clarified the point "as it would relate to you" and your child was in this position. Some posters here (like you stated) may or may not be in the position to make such decisions but I will leave that aspect off because they can judge for themselves if they have the insight to make a rational decision for their child.

 

[tmfr15]

Parents who have good relationships with their kids will ALWAYS have a major role in the decision process. That's because the kid will want to know what his folks think about the school. They'll have a conversation... pros and cons. And the student is likely to make a decision that's based in whole or in part on the parent's thoughts and feelings.

 

[AZRaiderH8r]

My son is a sophomore and is just getting started on this process. He is receiving attention both academically and athletically. Right now it's just a lot of fun for us to go to the mail every day and see what schools are in there. But we have made it very clear to him that we would love to be part of the process, that we will provide as much (or as little) feedback as he asks for, and that ultimately it's his decision to make.

 

[BigRedBuster]

That's a hard question to answer because all parents and athletes aren't created the same. Some of these kids aren't ready to make an informed life decision at that age. Some parents aren't, either. Hard to say definitively that THIS should happen or THAT should happen.

I would agree with this. However, it still should be the child's decision ultimately.

For instance, it is fully appropriate for a parent (actually it is their responsibility) to help make sure the child is making a decision that is based on fact and teaching them what the important issues to look at are. A parent should be there to make sure a coaching staff isn't feeding the child full of total BS and leading the kid into a buzz saw that is harmful to the future of the kid. On the flip side, the parent SHOULDN'T be leading the kid in the direction that THEY want him to go based on what the parent wants.

We went on every college visit with my daughter. We would point out things we saw that we both liked and disliked (only after my daughter would give her opinion) and then let her decide what she wanted to do. Like I said in another thread, she ended up choosing a school that probably wouldn't have been my first choice but it works for her and what she wants to do in life. She had a game plan for accomplishing what she wants and had good reason for going there to accomplish those goals.

 

[huKSer]

Strongly agree with BigRedBuster - parental opinion should be given only when asked.

 

[Saunders]

Strongly agree with BigRedBuster - parental opinion should be given only when asked.

Unless they want to got to Mizzou or Colorado. Then you threaten disownment.

 

[Ulty]

Strongly agree with BigRedBuster - parental opinion should be given only when asked.

Unless they want to got to Mizzou or Colorado. Then you threaten disownment.

Of course, but you have to teach your kids at a young age how to make good decisions, you can't wait for them to be a senior in high school. If your kid is considering Mizzou or Colorado, you were probably a crappy parent in the first place.

 

[TAKODA]

I also know that a lot of High school coaches make a huge impression on what institutions these kids go to as well.

 

[JJ Husker]

That's a hard question to answer because all parents and athletes aren't created the same. Some of these kids aren't ready to make an informed life decision at that age. Some parents aren't, either. Hard to say definitively that THIS should happen or THAT should happen.

Pretty much this^

I answered "give opinions and not force a decision" which I believe would effectively handle most reasonable situations. But there are kids who aren't mature enough or will weigh the wrong things and there are also parents who may be overbearing or not consider the right issues, so there is not a definite one size fits all answer.

 

[TAKODA]

I agree with this too, no doubt that everyone is different and have different levels of understanding and or experiences. I had gone through the recruiting process with my oldest boy who grew up as I did loving Husker Football. He was courted by Nebraska, K.State, Iowa State and a few others a long ways from home. I went with him on all the tours, coach meetings and testing’s they all did. Unfortunately he was injured his Jr year to the point where football was no longer an option. As hard as we tried to get the experts to give us a different opinion, the bottom line rested with the UNL doctors and the Nebraska Spine specialist. Good news is he did get his education and is doing very well professionally. It is still hard however wondering what could have been. Was not worth the chance of him becoming paralyzed though and while I say that, I say it for his sake not mine.

Maybe this will sound like I am bragging (maybe I am a little) but the kid was 250lbs and was benching 440 in High school. His records still hold to this day at that school. I am seeing kids in their Sr. season at UNL going to pro days not lifting that much and weighing 300+lbs. Sorry for the rant. Regardless, I would have supported him in any choice he would have made.

 

[Chaddyboxer]

I agree with this too, no doubt that everyone is different and have different levels of understanding and or experiences. I had gone through the recruiting process with my oldest boy who grew up as I did loving Husker Football. He was courted by Nebraska, K.State, Iowa State and a few others a long ways from home. I went with him on all the tours, coach meetings and testing’s they all did. Unfortunately he was injured his Jr year to the point where football was no longer an option. As hard as we tried to get the experts to give us a different opinion, the bottom line rested with the UNL doctors and the Nebraska Spine specialist. Good news is he did get his education and is doing very well professionally. It is still hard however wondering what could have been. Was not worth the chance of him becoming paralyzed though and while I say that, I say it for his sake not mine.

Maybe this will sound like I am bragging (maybe I am a little) but the kid was 250lbs and was benching 440 in High school. His records still hold to this day at that school. I am seeing kids in their Sr. season at UNL going to pro days not lifting that much and weighing 300+lbs. Sorry for the rant. Regardless, I would have supported him in any choice he would have made.

Not to get off topic, but that's as real cool story Takoda. i would love it if someday, my son or daughter, would have a chance to play at a high-collegiate level. I am glad things worked out for your son.