Ahman Green Arrested

[Sgt Red]

In law enforcement I got sick and tired of parents giving away their authority to discipline a child. They would call me and say deal with my child and I would tell the parent depending on the situation to spank the kid because I couldn't and didn't want to live with them to raise their children. I had more than one mom say she didn't want to get in trouble because the kid always threatened to "turn her in if she touched her". Well I told her and the teenager that I would be the one responding to the call and I had no problem with mom whipping the tar out of the child for disobedience. In the end we stopped having trouble with that child. Mom had the power again.

There are lots of ways parents give up power to their kids.

Failure to physically strike them usually isn't the problem. And striking them isn't often the neat, clean piece of discipline you're trying to portray here.

Key word I guess is discipline. Which means control. "Whipping the tar out of a kid" typically means losing control, not gaining it.

You'd need to come back in a few years to determine if your little anecdote here was indeed a success.

For the last 8 years I have worked as a social worker and have seen now both the law enforcement side and the social side. There is no doubt abuse takes place but refusing to control a child with the means of physically striking a kid is part of the problem in many households. Those who refuse to do it seem to have more arrogant or disobedient kids. Those that use it as an occasional means do well. Those that over use it end up with bigger problems than what they started with.

My comment about whipping the tar out of the kid was also prefaced to that family and many others that there is a line between abuse and discipline. Which I mentioned above. I wanted to reassure the parents they they possessed control of the child and not a bureaucratic or legal society of know it alls. The kid needed to understand the chain of command when it comes to discipline.

 

[Minnesota_husker]

Yeah, sounds like they were both in the wrong--the 15 year old for not wanting to do dishes/chores, and Ahman for probably pushing that a little too far.

We're talking about something here that, quite honestly, could happen to most parents that deal with unruly children. Not saying it's right, just saying it could happen to most of us.

You have to be joking me?
She is a 15 year old kid.. She didnt want to do dishes so he punched her?

Not even close to both being in the wrong.

A man who lays hands on a woman is scum. A man who lays hands on a child is scum...

Green might have lost his temper and I hope this isn't the man who he is, but laying Punching(causing a black eye) on your child is never ok.

Lock his butt up.

He said he popped her with an open palm. Maybe he was gonna pop her in the back of the head and she turned. My mother broke my nose when I was about 14 because she tried to slap me in the face and as a reflex I turned my head and her hand hit me square in the nose. I could have just called the cops and said my mom hit me in the face and broke my nose. I would be telling the truth but the police wouldn't have all the facts. That's why we have the systems we have. If it comes out that he punched her intentionally in the face then by all means he should face the music.

If he hit her with an open hand hard enough to cause a black eye, then i dont care if its open handed or a fist...

Of course he claimed it was an open hand. She said differently and the evidence(black eye) would be more in line with a closed fist.

 

[junior4949]

In law enforcement I got sick and tired of parents giving away their authority to discipline a child. They would call me and say deal with my child and I would tell the parent depending on the situation to spank the kid because I couldn't and didn't want to live with them to raise their children. I had more than one mom say she didn't want to get in trouble because the kid always threatened to "turn her in if she touched her". Well I told her and the teenager that I would be the one responding to the call and I had no problem with mom whipping the tar out of the child for disobedience. In the end we stopped having trouble with that child. Mom had the power again.

Schools are the same. If parents would just do their job, there really wouldn't be the need for sex ed., drivers ed., etc. in the school. My sister-in-law is a teacher. She says things have changed drastically in the last two decades. Parents just don't parent any longer. They expect someone else to do it for them. I'm sure most of us have been there where we're out in public and there's an unruly child where the parent(s) just let them go. It seems to be getting worse. It's no wonder shopping online has gotten so popular.

 

[Nebfanatic]

Personally, I'd much prefer getting slapped in the face to lashings with a belt.

Reminds.of me of a story....

When I was very young my older brother really ticked off my mom. She chased him around the house a bit but she slipped on a rug on a tile floor and fell hard, flat on her back. My brother felt bad so he went over to check on her. As he was leaning down to ask if she was okay, she reached up and slapped him good. Ha.

lmao the imagery

 

[VectorVictor]

Yeah, sounds like they were both in the wrong--the 15 year old for not wanting to do dishes/chores, and Ahman for probably pushing that a little too far.

We're talking about something here that, quite honestly, could happen to most parents that deal with unruly children. Not saying it's right, just saying it could happen to most of us.

bullsh#t. To all of this.

Says someone who isn't a parent.

I've never had a girlfriend. I guess I could understand dragging a girl down 3 flights of stairs by the hair. Especially if it was done by a star football player. Boys will be boys.

I'm not Victor, but I think he was trying to make a comment from a parents point of view. Of course, you have to chime in with your opinion, and slamming Victor's opinion. I know you are entitled to your thoughts, but I just think it's lame when someone who has no idea what it's like to be a parent to give advice on how to be a parent. I'm not defending what Ajman Green has done, but I can understand where it can be extremely difficult to deal with a kid who is being a sh#t.

First off, and this isn't a problem just exclusive to this board, some folks seem to have a problem understanding here is that empathy =/= condonement of the action. I can empathize with Ahman as a parent. I can empathize with Ahman as a parent trying to get an unruly child to do chores. That doesn't mean I condone the course of action he took to get the child to do the chores, nor do I condone the outcome. And if Ahman did purposefully and forcefully strike the child intentionally, then I hope he and his family get the help that they need.

Second, considering that the MIL, SIL, and wife all were at the home, didn't see anything transpire out of the ordinary, and that it's been documented that Ahman has had problems with the teenager being out of control...what has been reported so far leads me to believe that if there was anything wrong that was done, it was an accident on Ahman's part. And if the daughter was wearing glasses...well, I know when I wore glasses, I had issues where someone accidentally hit my glasses or face and because of the lens and spring hinges, it looked like I walked into the wrong alley at times (e.g. cuts, stitches, bruising). So I can see from my own personal experience how a simple love tap could go awry and cause this.

Third, how about we save all of the drama and extremism for the Politics board? This is one of our own that was accused of this...there's nothing wrong with empathy towards Ahman or his family. We're all human, and humans make mistakes. If Ahman made a mistake, then I hope he owns up to it and he gets help. If he didn't, then I hope he and his family still get help, as it's obvious there's some sort of dysfunction going on in that household.

 

[Hooked on Huskers]

She told police she and her father were arguing all day because she wouldn't do the dishes. ............

40 years ago, all families was typical actions. Punishment and discipline to correct disobedience including "black eye". Child abuse? .... she is fifteen, not infant! Oh well, time is changing I suppose .....

It reminds me of Full Metal Jacket movie with drill sergeant and recruits in opening scene .... not anymore

 

[Nebfanatic]

How do I remove an accidental plus one?

 

[BIGREDIOWAN]

I've moved several posts to the woodshed, this topic is getting out of hand. You want to personally attack each other's parenting styles, cool, go to the woodshed and do that. You want to rile the entire board up and call people names, well there are consequences for that. Everyone needs to chill out and move on with the topic. Next step is warnings, suspensions, whatever and locking the thread to get things under control. From the beginning this topic has been heated, it's an unfortunate circumstance that we don't have all of the information at this point to be able to make a decision on what has actually happened. Let all the facts come out before you decide he's automatically guilty or not. Moving on.....

 

[Mierin]

Let all the facts come out before you decide he's automatically guilty or not. Moving on.....

For the millionth babillionth time, most people aren't really discussing Ahman. They're discussing whether they are capable of doing what he's accused of and whether it's okay to do the thing he's accused of or not.
I don't necessarily disagree with the rest of your post but this is the 3rd or 4th time someone has said this in response to people talking about whether they could strike a kid in general. Not to whether Ahman is a terrible person who should be thrown in a pit of fire ants and dirty bandaids.

 

[NUance]

How do I remove an accidental plus one?

The same way you put toothpaste back in the tube.

 

[StPaulHusker]

How do I remove an accidental plus one?

The same way you put toothpaste back in the tube.

That's going to be my most prized +1 ever, too.

 

[Apathy]

I got a butt lashing (over summer break) with my dads old school leather back belt he used when lifting weights and during this whole time my gf was outside waiting for me hahaha. Wasn't suppose to have girls over when my parents home

 

[BIGREDIOWAN]

Let all the facts come out before you decide he's automatically guilty or not. Moving on.....

For the millionth babillionth time, most people aren't really discussing Ahman. They're discussing whether they are capable of doing what he's accused of and whether it's okay to do the thing he's accused of or not.
I don't necessarily disagree with the rest of your post but this is the 3rd or 4th time someone has said this in response to people talking about whether they could strike a kid in general. Not to whether Ahman is a terrible person who should be thrown in a pit of fire ants and dirty bandaids.

I personally don't care whether you agree with it or not, you're being argumentative. The point is the topic needs to be discussed that started this thread. It spiraled into folks lashing out at one another due to their parenting style and their opinions. It started getting off topic, I'm getting it back on topic, it really is that simple. Nothing more........

 

[zoogs]

I would never, ever punch my daughter in the face.

But my wife and I have said and done things we never imagined ourselves doing as parents. Things we specifically promised ourselves we would never do when we became parents. Things we held in judgement of other parents until we became parents ourselves.

Of course people who aren't parents can have a profound understanding, empathy, love and protectiveness for children.

But until they are yours 24/7/365, I'm not sure you can fully appreciate the razor's edge of child rearing.

And I am sure no parent would want his or her worst moment to go public.

Outstanding and fair post, Guy.