I keep hearing things that a rivalry must include respect but everytime I cite examples of rivalries that are between schools that rate on just about everyone's Top 10 in college footbal and then I point out how much hate and lack of respect there is between those two schools all I hear is crickets.
Because you're being myopic about those rivalries. Sure, Alabama/Auburn has plenty of vitriol. Heck, Nebraska/Oklahoma used to as well. You couldn't drive across a small town in Nebraska in the 80s without seeing the bumper sticker "Better Dead Than Sooner Red," or, "If I owned Hell and Oklahoma, I'd live in Hell and rent out Oklahoma." But at the same time you're going to be able to find folks in Alabama that root for the Tide and have respect (but not love) for Auburn, and vice versa. We had a love/hate relationship with the Sooners back in the day. Today it's mitigated because we miss playing each other so much, but if we played every year for the next ten years, it wouldn't take more than two or three for some angst to show up again.
That doesn't mean there's a lack of respect. It means you want to beat that team with all the fiber of your being.