Words are worse than sticks and stones

Po Belini said:

Some kids are smaller and weaker than others and may be too scared to stand up for themselves for fear of being beat up. Not every person is the same. Me for example, I don't like controversy and try to avoid it at all costs. Do I stand up for myself, yes, but I do it in a respectful manner.

What about the kids that don't play sports? That is another thing that is wrong with this world, if you don't play sports, you must be a nerd. And if a kid wants to do something, they should be allowed to do it, regardless of talent. What is that telling a kid? You can only do things your good at, if not don't even try. You do know childrens brains work differently than adults, right? If you tell a child this, they may think of themselves as a failure and shut down.

And as a coach, I don't have any problem with not taking scores at a very young age. Maybe this is why parents are freaking psycho when it comes to sports (I've been an umpire, so I know first hand). Maybe this is why two Dodger fans sucker punched a Giants fan on opening day and now he is in a coma (father of two btw) bc they were taught at a young age that winning is everything. Screw sportsmanship, win the game! The first baseball practice I had with my team (9 year olds) I told them that yes, winning is nice, but we do things the right way. No trash talking, no disrespecting opponents, umpires and coaches. And if we lose, we shake their hands and tell them good game. Sportsmanship is more important than winning and keeping score and we need to teach kids this at a young age.

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As I said before, the kid can just ignore and walk away. Just because your standing up for yourself, it doesn't mean that your getting into fights. Even back when I was a kid (30yrs ago) we would come home crying because of what someone said. My father asked me if it was true what the boy said. I said "No", "then why are you crying, are you bleeding?" "No". "Then you can still walk and have fun someone where else?". I live by this because I know that words don't mean crap and that is what needs to be instilled in the kids now.

As for the sports, you and I basically said the same thing. You are telling your kids that if they lose, don't be mad and enjoy the game. I am saying the same thing, but saying that the kids need to know what winning and losing feels like. And I did say at a young age it is all about the fun of the sport and not the score (not in those words).

When they get older and the kid can't play because he is to fat (just throwing one out there, fill in your own word if you like), then he realizes either he needs to lose weight to compete or figure something else to do. There are a ton of sports that takes all types of people. They just have to figure out which one if they don't want to change and go after it. Not only that, but sports aren't for everyone. For some it is band or the "nerdy" stuff. As long as they are socializing with others kids face to face and not on a video game every waking hour after school. When I used to play PC games, it was amazing how many 9 or 10 yr olds that I would hear in Ventrilo that was speaking cuss words because they died or things didn't go their way. I am a retired sailor and their mouth was worse then mine. Where are the parents?

I am not saying don't love your child to much, but just don't give them false hope on specific things when you know it is not true and should be helping them to overcome that crutch of whatever it is. (again, if the kid is fat, control what he eats then letting him eat whatever and whenever he wants (watched a news program that had a 300lb 8 yr old that couldn't walk. Her mom said that she didn't know what to do. The next segment the girl asks for junk food and the mom gives it to her. A prime example)).

Sorry a 400lb 8 yr old. Here is the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNATWsVVwgo

this type of behavior is going everywhere with parents. let your kid do what they want and then wonder why their kids are having problems.

Back to the original video in the OP post. She said they call her "slut" and "b!^@h". Is she? We don't know the full story. What if she is trying to get every guy or just has an attitude towards everyone and this is the other kids way of responding back and she can't take it. We don't know.

In my high school we had a very loose chick and everyone knew about and let her know. She would always end up crying in a corner but kept up doing the same things afterwords.

okaive said:

Back to the original video in the OP post. She said they call her "slut" and "b!^@h". Is she? We don't know the full story. What if she is trying to get every guy or just has an attitude towards everyone and this is the other kids way of responding back and she can't take it. We don't know.

In my high school we had a very loose chick and everyone knew about and let her know. She would always end up crying in a corner but kept up doing the same things afterwords.

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Why even take the effort to spin this to claim that it might be her fault? That's on par with blaming a rape victim.

okaive said:

Back to the original video in the OP post. She said they call her "slut" and "b!^@h". Is she? We don't know the full story. What if she is trying to get every guy or just has an attitude towards everyone and this is the other kids way of responding back and she can't take it. We don't know.

In my high school we had a very loose chick and everyone knew about and let her know. She would always end up crying in a corner but kept up doing the same things afterwords.

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so making fun of a girl and letting her cry in the corner because you think her personal/private life should be scrutinized by you and everyone else in the school is okay?

We call girls sluts and bitches and ostracize them because they like to have sex and then turn around and high five the captain of the football team for doing the same thing. If the girl in the video was your daughter and you heard someone had called her a slut/b!^@h, your first response would be to ask the girl if she is one?

And as far as the evolution of bullying, yes it is not a new concept. But with the advent of the internet it has really taken on a new meaning. The days of Wally Cleaver standing up to the big boy in his class and getting a prideful black eye are over. In that sense Columbine really did change things forever.

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very true. People can hide behind their computer and humiliate someone anonymously. Not only that, but bullying someone at a school is one things...doing it so millions of other people see it, is another. Example:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/09/29/rutgers-students-accused-secretly-taping-sex-dorm-posting-video-online/

so making fun of a girl and letting her cry in the corner because you think her personal/private life should be scrutinized by you and everyone else in the school is okay? We call girls sluts and bitches and ostracize them because they like to have sex and then turn around and high five the captain of the football team for doing the same thing. If the girl in the video was your daughter and you heard someone had called her a slut/b!^@h, your first response would be to ask the girl if she is one?

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BIGREDFAN_in_OMAHA said:

okaive said:

Back to the original video in the OP post. She said they call her "slut" and "b!^@h". Is she? We don't know the full story. What if she is trying to get every guy or just has an attitude towards everyone and this is the other kids way of responding back and she can't take it. We don't know.

In my high school we had a very loose chick and everyone knew about and let her know. She would always end up crying in a corner but kept up doing the same things afterwords.

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Why even take the effort to spin this to claim that it might be her fault? That's on par with blaming a rape victim.

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Not even close. You don't see women going out there and say Rape Me Rape Me (atleast not the sane ones). Not trying to spin it, just saying we don't know what the other side of it is. Just saying this could be her fault and now not liking the type of attention that she wanted.

bennychico11 said:

If the girl in the video was your daughter and you heard someone had called her a slut/b!^@h, your first response would be to ask the girl if she is one?

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In a way yes. I would ask her why they would be calling her these names. As for the internet, how many pics do you see kids taking all types of pics for attention and then get mad because people call them out on it? You even hear about the teen female that takes nude pics of herself and sends it to her boyfriend and then gets pissed when her friend shows it on her own phone.

Not saying any of this is right and going back to my original post, parents needs to take a stand and teach their kids what is right and wrong.

okaive said:

In a way yes. I would ask her why they would be calling her these names.

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So in a sense, guilty until proven innocent?

I choose to disagree. A woman, especially my daughter, should never be called a b!^@h or slut. Especially if it's over something as personal as their sex life.

bennychico11 said:

okaive said:

In a way yes. I would ask her why they would be calling her these names.

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So in a sense, guilty until proven innocent?

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Not in a sense, but I am not as naive as most parents are about their own children. I know that kids are having sex, trying drugs and drinking at the age of 10. I also know that there is a hint of truth that is told when kids harass other kids (a hint, not total). So yes, I would be questioning why they called her these things and see if there isn't anything that she isn't telling me. But at the same time, if she is telling the truth and nothing is going on, I would support her and tell her how to disregard this type of topic.

krc1995 said:

Good luck on changing parents. As a high school teacher most(not all)the parents fall in one of the following categories

A. Welfare magets. Hooked on drugs/alcohol. Zero motivation to raise their children to be any different then themselves. Many are second and third, maybe even fourth generation magets....

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That's the problem..we have too many HS teachers that can't even spell "Maggots" ...or has something against me being a Slipknot fan (The band calls us "Maggots" probably the main reason I knowed it was spelled funny)..(or "knew it was misspelled" if this is being graded).

Just kidding KRC...trying to make a joke here...and hide my dissapointment at not being able to find myself in any of your categories.

okaive said:

...drinking at the age of 10....

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Speaking of..

I started drinking at around 15 and only recently found out a reason to wait that probably would've made a difference to me at the time..I was going through single parent classes as a requirement of the Divorce and the instructor mentioned something about Alcohol stopping your ability to grow emotionally..Like you're stuck at whatever age you start drinking..

I somewhat agree (in my case, anyway).

Anne Ramsey

I swear, this Omaha born actress that was in "Throw Momma from the Train" was the spittin' immage of the bully in my grade school.

He was about a foot taller than anyone else in our 3rd grade class (even the teacher), had the same speech impediment, had "BORN LOSE" tattooed on his knuckles (never sure if he meant "Born TO lose" and ran outa finners or maybe they were on his thumbs..or mispelled "LOSS")..And he reeked of cigerettes all the time..There was even a rumor going around he spent 2nd grade in a correctional school for killing his Dad.

Anyway..we were waiting by the drinking fountain for the little kids to get through drinking, when "Jim" shoved the one still drinking into the wall almost chipping his tooth...Without thinking, I said something profound like, "STOP!!" and Jim said something like "You wanna do something about it"?

I have no idea who really said it, but my lips mouthed a weak "yes" and Jim said, "FINE! AFTER SCHOOL!!!"

The rest of the afternoon, I'm mentally trying to compose a good-bye letter to my parents, and trying to make out a Will for which older Brother gets all my plastic army men...A few hours (minutes?) later, Jim walks up to me and said,"How should we do this? a Boxing match?..And I'm thinking to myself..(We get a choice?) WAY too much hitting involved in boxing..

I counter with, "I don't know how to Box..How about Wrestling?

(a LOT less hitting involved. and My elderly neighbors watch alot of wrassling on TV and that funny Jow Zweibeck pitching his Gera Speed looks to be still healthy enough for an old dude)..

Jim just said, "I don't really know how to wrestle...maybe we should just forget it".

I don't remember if he graduated with my class...or if I ever had him in another class..but I'm pretty sure those were the last words we ever spoke to each other...

I really hate that I don't get to see my Son every day.

He used to tell me about getting beat up by the class bully and my not being able to tell him to hit back because the bully was a girl.

I just convinced him after the more he told me about the situation..That she had a crush on him and didn't know how to express it.

He's one of the most compassionate people I've ever met..also one of the scrawniest, so it happens.

I just remind him I need to get him into Karate classes, and I usually ask him how he thinks the bully will turn out later in life, or how it might affect both of them later..it's facinating listening to kids sometimes.