What would you do if you found out your partner was "Transgender"?

[JJ Husker]

The fact that this is even a possible situation that some feel the need to contemplate would lead me to believe that things are a lot more screwed up on this planet than any of us really understand. I did not vote in the poll because I refuse to even consider it. If this has anyone seriously contemplating how they would react, I would suggest reevaluating how you go about starting and continuing your relationships.

I'm feeling a lot of hostility simply for asking a few questions. Are you implying something is wrong with my relationships because I heard a story, put myself in another man's shoes and contemplated what I would do in that situation? Yep, guess I'm screwed up. Damn me and my brain I use for thinking.

Sorry Bucky if you took that personally, that is not what I was trying to convey at all. It actually is an interesting question and I don't blame anyone for attempting to contemplate it. I guess I am just extremely relieved that it hits so far from home for me that I feel it would be a waste of my time to really consider it seriously. My "hostility" was aimed towards the environment that makes this even a remotely possible scenario. I understand that some people really appear to be the wrong sex trapped in the opposite sexes body. I just wish for everyones sake that were never the case. I didn't mean to attack you for asking the question or posting the topic and I'm sorry if it came across that way.

 

We actually had a situation like this in the local area a couple years ago. A late teen/low 20's gangbanger type guy was dating this girl (well not exactly a girl), found out that she was a he, and murdered her/him in a grizzly fashion (beaten to death with a fire extinguisher) because of it. It was not a heat of the moment type event. He contemplated it and went back to get revenge. He was convicted and rightly so. I felt sorry for the transgender person but still could not avoid the feeling that had she/he been honest and up front that this would not have happened. But that sure doesn't excuse the murder in any way.

['SkersRule]

As to the original question of would you stay with a person you found out was tg? I honestly do not know. I'd like to think that if I fell in love with a woman that it wouldn't matter but we're talking theoretically only. If faced with that decision in the real world I don't really know. I mean if said tg looked like Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johannson or some other beautiful woman and we shared a deep connection emotionally on all levels then...maybe. However, if said tg looked like Janet Reno then there's absolutely no way. Not that I would ever date a monster like Janet Reno to begin with. It would honestly depend on the relationship in question and as long as she never expected service on her south of the "equator." I'm open minded but I do not roll that way. I'm not judging anyone who does, it is just not for me.

[knapplc]

To my uncertain knowledge, I have never known anyone who was transgender.

 

 

I have no idea how I'd react in that situation. I can't fathom any scenario where I would, personally, get to a point where I had actually married a person and didn't know them well enough to know they were once a man. That's a pretty huge chunk of a person's life to simply gloss over. I find it quite difficult to believe that the scenario in the OP happened as described.

 

 

[walksalone]

You should figure that out pretty early on, so this wouldn't become an issue...

[zoogs]

2. Instances of transgender behavior is not limited to human beings. Certain species of frogs can spontaneously go from male to female and vice versa.

 

Yes! And this can have tragic consequences if unknown. DINOSAURS. Good men died because of this terrible oversight by InGen scientists.

 

okay, I don't have anything to actually add to this thread.

[The Dude]

I'd punch him right in the Adam's apple.

[carlfense]

Question 1. I have no idea. I'd be shocked.

 

Question 2. Nope.

['SkersRule]

I'd punch him right in the Adam's apple.

 

Your honesty is both refreshing and disturbing.

[Stumpy1]

 

 

 

On a serious note, it would be a hard decision to make. I guess you would have to ask yourself if this person is the one for you and whether you can live with the truth.

[NUance]

I’d tell her/him: You must’ve have had an AWESOME surgeon, who reworked all your plumbing. Because I personally witnessed my newborn son getting squeezed out of your fish mitten.

[Excel]

To my uncertain knowledge, I have never known anyone who was transgender.

 

 

I have no idea how I'd react in that situation. I can't fathom any scenario where I would, personally, get to a point where I had actually married a person and didn't know them well enough to know they were once a man. That's a pretty huge chunk of a person's life to simply gloss over. I find it quite difficult to believe that the scenario in the OP happened as described.

As do I. I wish I could find a clip of the lockup episode but I know it was one of those shot at San Quentin. Anyhow he came off kind insincere, as if he wasn't being completely honest about the nature of the situation. Personally I don't know that you could get that far in a relationship without knowing at some level that your partner was not of the gender they claimed. At any rate it doesn't excuse his actions even if he was duped. I just find the whole thing intriguing.

[T_O_Bull]

I'd take him to the Jos. A. Bank and buy him a whole new wardrobe.

T_O_B

[Enhance]

This all seems pretty simple to me.

 

Question 1 - My answer is the middle one: I'd be confused, frustrated and then I'd end the relationship. Regardless of the biology behind it all, I would think that most males who change into females were, at one time, all male. Yes, we're all female at one point. Yes, we don't know exactly what makes a person gay and what exact biological factors influence this. But, it's pretty simple to me. If you were, at one point, a "man", and I met you as a "woman", and found out you were a "man", I don't think I could deal with it.

 

Although I believe myself to be comfortable with my sexuality, I have no problem admitting I'm not comfortable enough for this.

 

Question 2 - I don't really know about this one. I put yes, because I'd hate to be put in this situation. But, it seems so utterly unrealistic and the chances so improbable that I don't think it would really be necessary.

[TonyStalloni]

I don't think a person who leaves a relationship like this should be demonized. Why was the TG not open enough to relay this information before the marriage and even before feelings were shared. That is some pretty inportant info to not divulge. Obviously there should never be violence.

[Muck]

The first thing that popped into my head was the scene from The Bachelor Party (early Tom Hanks movie) but since I couldn't find a good clip of it, we'll have to settle for...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSPtSEIlp8A