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*** HB Misc Topic bullsh#t Thread ***


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Went to my daughter's high school band concert tonight. It lasted 2 1/2 hours. They spent over 90 minutes recognizing every senior in the band and their parents, and giving out over 50 friggin awards. 90 damn minutes! Why is it that band people waste so damn much time patting themselves on the back?

when they can just toot their own horns.

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Question:

 

I have roughly 950+ business cards that are no longer useful. Any suggestions on what to do with them?

Pass them out at crack houses.

When in an unfamiliar neighborhood, just leave a trail of business cards, à la Hansel and Gretel.

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My kid's second soccer game was last night. And he scored a goal! Well, sort of. He turned three years old the day before the first game. So he's the youngest on the team. The four and five year olds are waaay faster and better. Anyway, he was running around chasing after the ball--because that's pretty much all they do at that age. And he got tired. So he walked over to the opposing goal and stood next to the other team's goal tender. And that kid--seeing that some little kid had taken over his goal tending duties--ran out to chase after the ball. About then one of their players broke away from the crowd with the ball. He saw my son in the goal, so he drove the ball the wrong way, and made a nice 10 foot shot. In his own goal. Since my kid was still standing in their goal, he was the only player on our team anywhere near the goal. They gave him the goal. lol GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!

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My kid's second soccer game was last night. And he scored a goal! Well, sort of. He turned three years old the day before the first game. So he's the youngest on the team. The four and five year olds are waaay faster and better. Anyway, he was running around chasing after the ball--because that's pretty much all they do at that age. And he got tired. So he walked over to the opposing goal and stood next to the other team's goal tender. And that kid--seeing that some little kid had taken over his goal tending duties--ran out to chase after the ball. About then one of their players broke away from the crowd with the ball. He saw my son in the goal, so he drove the ball the wrong way, and made a nice 10 foot shot. In his own goal. Since my kid was still standing in their goal, he was the only player on our team anywhere near the goal. They gave him the goal. lol GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!

The box score doesn't say how he scored it. Just that he did. Nice job to your son!

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Cool story- This old guy that happens to live by one of the girls on my daughters 14U softball team started coming to all their tournament games. Started to seem a bit creepy when we found out he wasn't her grandpa. He was giving all the girls advice (really good advice btw). Come to find out he played for the Cincinnati Reds back in the 70's big red machine years and also played fastpitch for the US national team all over the world. Heard lots of great stories about Pete Rose, Morgan, Concepcion, etc. this last weekend. Hope he shows up again this weekend and maybe this time I'll get his name. Cool guy.

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The true orbits of the planets. We tend to forget that as we move about the sun, the sun is orbiting the center of the Milky Way. That motion means we're not just going around in circles.

 

trueorbits.gif

 

What about the movement of the galaxy relative to the local group?

 

The local supercluster?

 

The constant expansion of spacetime in the universe?

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My son and I were wrestlin around a little tonight. I'm tryin to bring out his inner physical beast. He's five. He has this thing where he invents wrestlin moves and tries to do them on me. Tonight he told me he was gonna do the face tainter. He then proceeded to try to sit on my head. LOL. If only I could channel that kind of inginuity into something productive.

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My wife can't load the dishwasher.

 

She just puts bowls and glasses in random chaotic order so that you can't fit other stuff in without rearranging the whole thing. She'll put a mixing bowl upside down in the center of the rack, taking up the whole thing when it will fit sideways on the side. She'll put glasses in the bottom rack when the top rack is still empty, leading her to put plates in the bottom rack diagonally. I open up the damn dishwasher and have to rearrange it so we can fit in twice as much stuff.

 

At first I thought she did it on purpose in a passive aggressive effort to just get me to do the dishes instead. But no, she goes out of her way to load the dishes whenever she can and is a habitual cleaner/picker-upper, she just does it poorly when it comes to the dishawsher. My wife has a PhD, is a college professor, is an artist and conducts research in "the aesthetic experience" for gods sake, does jigsaw puzzles as a hobby, and is obsessed with organization. All these factors should make someone an absolute pro in the field of dishwasher loading, but nope. She just can't do it. I don't understand.

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