Funniest Thing I've Read This Week...

[Count 'Bility]

LOOK Nebraska fans, you have a rep as being the worst fans in the Big Ten Reply

And I can attest to this based upon my horrible experiences last year when visiting Lincoln. This is FIRSTHAND information.

 

I have to admit I was excited when you guys joined up with our conference so that you could man up and play with the big boys. Speaking purely selfishly it gave me a reason to visit Nebraska. I had flown over it many times of course but since I never had any aircraft troubles, never had actually set foot in the state. I must say the state was very nice and clean.

 

Look, I never want any troubles before the game if I can help it. I don't want to tussle, get my hair messed up or just deal with problems. I'm a bit of a beast in the workout room (2% body fat, 360 Bench, 520 Squat) and when I take someone on with my MMA training, well, it's not a fair fight.

 

So I avoid conflict. I avoid situations where trouble exists. But I always keep my eyes open to see if any Wildcat fans need any help. Anyway, before and after the game, constant challenges and insults. I finally had it when I saw someone wearing a Nebraska sweater approach a group of four NU fans after the game and he said "Hey Purple Wildcat fans, how about a beer to celebrate your great victory today? Maybe a bit to eat?"

 

Well, those are fighting words. I started taking off my jacket when the group I was with grabbed me (four guys) and said to me, "Yo Phil, man, chill, they don't know. Phil THEY DON'T KNOW, they are new. Phil PLEASE man, they don't know it's an insult, dude chill man...".

 

I counted 100 and decided maybe it's true. Maybe, because it's the first game as conference members, "they don't know".

 

So let me spell it out for you.

 

We are fans of the Northwestern Wildcats. The elite. The creme de la creme. Our fans and alumni assume some of the top positions in business, medicine, the legal profession, media and the arts. Even some of America's most famous prisoners are Northwestern graduates.

 

So - clue yourself in. We don't NEED an invitation for food. We don't NEED an invitation for a beer. We are the Wildcat nation and what we want, we get. Earned or taken.

 

If I am passing by a Husker tailgate and smell a burger cooking and I just happen to feel hungry right then and there, I sure as hell am going to walk over and help myself, and I am not waiting for some lowly "invitation". I'll just eat it right there, with a bun or Tarzan style.

 

If I am thirsty and I see you have a beer, I am going to grab it and drink it. And I won't be an arrogant jerk about it, I'll leave you the last gulp and say "Thanks, man" and give a friendly wink as I slowly wipe my hands on the front of your sweatshirt.

 

We are the Wildcat nation. To "share" with us is to insult us. Turn back the clock and find that our ancestors made up the warrior class and we continue that proud tradition. The Hun. The Viking. The Barbary Pirate or The Samurai. We are peaceful until challenged and then our force is fierce and awesome to behold. We vanquish enemies and heal our own wounded with our own mysterious elexirs. We built civilization and only we command the power to declare that something shall be shared.

 

That's the way we roll in Evanston where the Alpha Dogs run the show. So be welcome and be aware.

 

And a tip, be sure to check out Mustards Last Stand if you get a chance, it's just off the parking lot. Great chow.

 

I read this, and cried.

 

I thought Northwestern fans were the smart kids, the percieved "Stanford" of the B1G. Not complete meatheads that I'd find at Jersey Shore taping. Just because you can post on a message board, you're immediately Chuck Liddell?

 

Regardless, enjoy the hilarity...

To whom ever penned this drivel... I'm going to be at the game this weekend. PM me and I will let you know where I will be. Bring your weak a$$ $hit to my tailgate and witness the awesomness that is T_O_B. Try to eat from our table and loose a tongue, reach for my beer and pull back a stump. We are very hospitable fans but do not,never, assume that we will be insulted by lesser beings. Your physicality means nothing other than the fact that you are not a typical NW wildcat, you are a posser.

T_O_B

[GSG]

LOOK Nebraska fans, you have a rep as being the worst fans in the Big Ten Reply

And I can attest to this based upon my horrible experiences last year when visiting Lincoln. This is FIRSTHAND information.

 

I have to admit I was excited when you guys joined up with our conference so that you could man up and play with the big boys. Speaking purely selfishly it gave me a reason to visit Nebraska. I had flown over it many times of course but since I never had any aircraft troubles, never had actually set foot in the state. I must say the state was very nice and clean.

 

Look, I never want any troubles before the game if I can help it. I don't want to tussle, get my hair messed up or just deal with problems. I'm a bit of a beast in the workout room (2% body fat, 360 Bench, 520 Squat) and when I take someone on with my MMA training, well, it's not a fair fight.

 

So I avoid conflict. I avoid situations where trouble exists. But I always keep my eyes open to see if any Wildcat fans need any help. Anyway, before and after the game, constant challenges and insults. I finally had it when I saw someone wearing a Nebraska sweater approach a group of four NU fans after the game and he said "Hey Purple Wildcat fans, how about a beer to celebrate your great victory today? Maybe a bit to eat?"

 

Well, those are fighting words. I started taking off my jacket when the group I was with grabbed me (four guys) and said to me, "Yo Phil, man, chill, they don't know. Phil THEY DON'T KNOW, they are new. Phil PLEASE man, they don't know it's an insult, dude chill man...".

 

I counted 100 and decided maybe it's true. Maybe, because it's the first game as conference members, "they don't know".

 

So let me spell it out for you.

 

We are fans of the Northwestern Wildcats. The elite. The creme de la creme. Our fans and alumni assume some of the top positions in business, medicine, the legal profession, media and the arts. Even some of America's most famous prisoners are Northwestern graduates.

 

So - clue yourself in. We don't NEED an invitation for food. We don't NEED an invitation for a beer. We are the Wildcat nation and what we want, we get. Earned or taken.

 

If I am passing by a Husker tailgate and smell a burger cooking and I just happen to feel hungry right then and there, I sure as hell am going to walk over and help myself, and I am not waiting for some lowly "invitation". I'll just eat it right there, with a bun or Tarzan style.

 

If I am thirsty and I see you have a beer, I am going to grab it and drink it. And I won't be an arrogant jerk about it, I'll leave you the last gulp and say "Thanks, man" and give a friendly wink as I slowly wipe my hands on the front of your sweatshirt.

 

We are the Wildcat nation. To "share" with us is to insult us. Turn back the clock and find that our ancestors made up the warrior class and we continue that proud tradition. The Hun. The Viking. The Barbary Pirate or The Samurai. We are peaceful until challenged and then our force is fierce and awesome to behold. We vanquish enemies and heal our own wounded with our own mysterious elexirs. We built civilization and only we command the power to declare that something shall be shared.

 

That's the way we roll in Evanston where the Alpha Dogs run the show. So be welcome and be aware.

 

And a tip, be sure to check out Mustards Last Stand if you get a chance, it's just off the parking lot. Great chow.

 

I read this, and cried.

 

I thought Northwestern fans were the smart kids, the percieved "Stanford" of the B1G. Not complete meatheads that I'd find at Jersey Shore taping. Just because you can post on a message board, you're immediately Chuck Liddell?

 

Regardless, enjoy the hilarity...

To whom ever penned this drivel... I'm going to be at the game this weekend. PM me and I will let you know where I will be. Bring your weak a$$ $hit to my tailgate and witness the awesomness that is T_O_B. Try to eat from our table and loose a tongue, reach for my beer and pull back a stump. We are very hospitable fans but do not,never, assume that we will be insulted by lesser beings. Your physicality means nothing other than the fact that you are not a typical NW wildcat, you are a posser.

T_O_B

 

[EbylHusker]

A few people in this thread deserve this...

 

[4skers89]

Too funny. The 2% body fat was the second clue that it was a joke. This is the same school that rushed onto the field during their losing streak cheering "We're the worst". I don't think that NW fans take their football too seriously. I'm sure they want to win but their academic achievements outweighs anything they accomplish on the field. Also, I'm sure he meant MBA training, not MMA. I'm going to visit this guy's hot dog stand and provoke him with kindness. How dare he entertain me.

[clyde40]

Did FLU join the NW bandwagon? lol I will say it's easy to take this too seriously when reading it the first time through because of all the crap that's been on the board the past two weeks.

[Flood]

LOL,

 

Absolute Hilarity. Would subscribe to his newsletter.

 

It is good to see some light-hearted fans out there. Too bad some of us need to have a sense of humor installed. Great stuff!

[Nebula]

Yeah! Good ol' FLU! Whoooo!

 

Quick question: Which of the following do you take?

 

1.) Come down with the mumps.

2.) Get snowed in at a very small cabin in the middle of nowhere with our boy influenza. Rescue is estimated at one month.

[4skers89]

Well, those are fighting words. I started taking off my jacket when the group I was with grabbed me (four guys) and said to me, "Yo Phil, man, chill, they don't know. Phil THEY DON'T KNOW, they are new. Phil PLEASE man, they don't know it's an insult, dude chill man...".

 

I counted 100 and decided maybe it's true. Maybe, because it's the first game as conference members, "they don't know".

 

Brilliant. You have to read it twice to catch everything. Where was this posted? I want to invite the guy to a tailgate

[HuskerThor]

^^^ What's a posser?

 

I believe that is french for "poser"

[walksalone]

Well, those are fighting words. I started taking off my jacket when the group I was with grabbed me (four guys) and said to me, "Yo Phil, man, chill, they don't know. Phil THEY DON'T KNOW, they are new. Phil PLEASE man, they don't know it's an insult, dude chill man...".

 

I counted 100 and decided maybe it's true. Maybe, because it's the first game as conference members, "they don't know".

 

Brilliant. You have to read it twice to catch everything. Where was this posted? I want to invite the guy to a tailgate

 

on the rivals wildcat board... I put something up there to mess with them...

[CornHOLIO]

HA! That guy has some pretty funny sarcastic humor, not gonna lie. Good stuff.

 

So does this fat chick at a recent concert in Denver.

 

[krc1995]

Well, those are fighting words. I started taking off my jacket when the group I was with grabbed me (four guys) and said to me, "Yo Phil, man, chill, they don't know. Phil THEY DON'T KNOW, they are new. Phil PLEASE man, they don't know it's an insult, dude chill man...".

 

I counted 100 and decided maybe it's true. Maybe, because it's the first game as conference members, "they don't know".

 

Brilliant. You have to read it twice to catch everything. Where was this posted? I want to invite the guy to a tailgate

No need to find him, he'll find you.

[Moiraine]

Some of the replies here are embarrassing.

[GSG]

Some of the replies here are embarrassing.

 

[JJ Husker]

Funny stuff by Phil. And, I think some of the comments here were meant in jest also. I refuse to believe anyone took that post seriously, other than seriously funny.