BigRedBuster Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Ok....I'm usually not one of these guys that posts emotional stuff. But, this is just a time I have to let out my emotions and you happen to be the sorry asses that receives it. I'm posting this here because I gotta be strong for the people around me and I'm to the point I'm not sure I can be. I'm usually a guy who is a sap around relatively meaningless stuff but when it gets tough, I'm the strong one people lean on. I run the family business, I take care of my elderly parents, I help my wife with her elderly parents...yadda yadda yadda.... A week ago, my brother called me about his employee that was killed in a motorcycle accident. That sucked but I didn't know the guy and we will help out where we can. Thursday, an employee of mine has a brother in law die of cancer, the next day his wife has major surgery and his father is about to be put in hospice due to cancer. All of that I can handle and I will be there for him any way I can. Then, Thursday night, I got friggen kicked in the gut. Sitting at the table eating supper, I'm asking the kids about their day. I'm expecting the usual talk about tests and homework. My second daughter starts crying and explains that her friends father was diagnosed with mantle cell lymphoma. Now, understand, this guy is also a good friend of mine. All our kids are friends with their kids. His wife graduated with my brother. My wife is friends with his wife...etc. This sucks. I have been in shock ever since. 3 kids......youngest one in 7th grade......this shouldn't happen. This absolutely shouldn't happen. Let me explain farther.....this particular daughter has had now over 10%of her class in school have a parent diagnosed with cancer. Most have died. She is absolutely a mess over this because this is another close friend. I gotta be strong for her but after she goes to bed its my time and you get my rant . Some how I have to face my friend and be strong. I'm typing this with tears in my eyes and he is the one that is facing the fight for his life. I have no idea what I'm asking for other than I'm finally alone with everyone else asleep in the house and I have some time to let things out and a bottle of Merlot has been my friend. So, I'm sending this out into cyber space and it makes me feel better just typing it all out. As for my friend...he has always been one of those guys we all have that I looked up to. Family man, great friend, hard worker and always there for everyone. Absolutely someone I look up to and care so much about. Here's to you buddy...... Now go kick this sh#t's ass........ Quote Link to comment
Mavric Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Sucks to hear that. Terrible for your daughters class. Thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment
NUance Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Real sorry to hear of these tragedies. Especially your friend. It just doesn't seem fair. Godspeed to him in his treatment and fight for his life. Quote Link to comment
TonyStalloni Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 I don't have any words that can make the situation better. Life can really throw us a curve at times. In your friends case I'm sure he has many trying days ahead. Offer to talk with him any time and also volunteer to assist the family in any way. Shovel snow, mow lawns, pull weeds or anything you see that needs to be done that he may be unable to do. Let your daughter help also so she can feel like she is doing something to help. I understand the heartbreak and helplessness you're feeling. In a 5 month period I lost a sister, mother and brother in law. You feel shell shocked after that. Prepare your mind for the worst but pray and expect the best. Quote Link to comment
huKSer Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Is there an environmental link? Seems improbable that so many in a small area to get cancer Quote Link to comment
BigRedBuster Posted January 12, 2014 Author Share Posted January 12, 2014 No....dumb luck. No other class in the entire school is anywhere close. And it's all different types of cancer. Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Sucks to hear about all that bad stuff going on around you, I've lost every single one of my aunts, uncles and grandparents to cancer. My wife's dad got diagnosed with throat cancer a year or more ago. He's beat it thus far and is in remission. My best friends 8-year-old son was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 8 and my buddy was deployed during that time................he had a 5% survival chance and he's now 16 and is killing the odds every day! I tell you these two things because miracles happen every day, it's possible he can beat this, keep the faith. I know it's hard and I can appreciate what type of position you're in. I'm the rock in our family, it's a tough position to be in when every one comes to you for answers, help, etc. Like you I put on the strong face and most of the time I can handle these things, but there are times when I can't, but I don't let it show until "after hours" so-to-speak. 1 Quote Link to comment
carlfense Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Hang in there BRB. Hold your loved ones tight. Quote Link to comment
Roxy15 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 So sorry to hear about the pain you are feeling..am worried about you. Please take care and don't feel bad about posting this. We are all here for you and hope it helps you. Quote Link to comment
Redux Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Thats just awful. And what a horrid statistic. So sorry for your dillema, hope your friend can hattle through this. I can relate somewhat. When I was a Sophmore in high school a gal I knew died in a car wreck in March. My cousin two years my elder was close with her and I spent alo of time with him. More so than usual, to help him deal with it. That December as fate would have it, he was killed in a car accident as well. One minute your 16 getting ready for work at the local grocery store, the next your Dad is informing you that your best friend is gone. Life punches you in the gut, and then you grow up just like that. I spent the rest of the day consoling my friends who didnt understand how I was dealing with it better than them. Simple, he would have wanted me to. That was eleven years ago. This past fall I was a Paul Bearer for his Grandfather who raised him. My wife also lost her Uncle. From an incredibly close family. Guy got into some hazardous waste at work they supervisors didnt look up before having him clean it up. He spent the next several years slipping away. He passed away during the Big Ten Championship against Wisconsin after a long tiring battle. Point I want to make is that nobody knows when life is going to get detoured ans there is now way to prepare and theres no wrong way to react. The fact you can be strong for your friends and family is perhaps the best way of coping. Helping others through this difficult time may help you as well. I know I had my breakdowns over my cousin, but mostly I stayed strong for everyone. I hope you and everyone involved will be strong for your frie as well. Horrible thing to happen. Wishing you all some good will and luck through this. Quote Link to comment
Foppa Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Sucks to hear about all that bad stuff going on around you, I've lost every single one of my aunts, uncles and grandparents to cancer. My wife's dad got diagnosed with throat cancer a year or more ago. He's beat it thus far and is in remission. My best friends 8-year-old son was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 8 and my buddy was deployed during that time................he had a 5% survival chance and he's now 16 and is killing the odds every day! I tell you these two things because miracles happen every day, it's possible he can beat this, keep the faith. I know it's hard and I can appreciate what type of position you're in. I'm the rock in our family, it's a tough position to be in when every one comes to you for answers, help, etc. Like you I put on the strong face and most of the time I can handle these things, but there are times when I can't, but I don't let it show until "after hours" so-to-speak. That was very well put. And best wishes to you BigRedBuster. Quote Link to comment
HUSKER 37 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 So sorry to hear this BRB...Hopefully you can feel a little strength in numbers by sharing it with us.... I remember how Isolated I felt going to so many family members' funerals my Freshman Year at UNL all while being 160 miles away from home.. I'm still curious about where you live..I've had friends tell me some disturbing things about the deteriorating environment back home and I'm pretty sure some of them can cause more than one form of Cancer.. Quote Link to comment
walksalone Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Dude, I'm sorry to hear that. Quote Link to comment
BigRedBuster Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Thanks for the kind words. Usually I don't pour myself out like that but after the wine, I guess I did. He is going to a doctor that uses a fairly new treatment that either works fantastic or doesn't work at all. We are all keeping our fingers crossed that it works out. Quote Link to comment
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