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2 hours ago, Scarlet Overkill said:

 

There’s a McD’s right across from where the fireworks display was planned last night, so went into the restroom and I thought of you.  Thankfully there was more than one stall available.

I  mean, how do they not notice the puddles on the seat before they leave?  How can they not be completely embarrassed that the person walking in behind them is seeing that?

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Here is one...stalls with NO STALL DOOR!  My god, I hate that.

 

Picture it, the year was 200-something (right now you should be seeing blurry waves in front of your eyes), I am at Office West Lounge in Omaha.  I am looking good and feeling it...we have a solid group with us, the usual ratio for our group.  6 to 0 guys to girls...but we are all feeling it.  After the 5th round of Golden Tee and TALKING about approaching some girls that clearly walked in thinking that Office West was going to be fun and not more like a drinking cemetery...I get that knot in my stomach and I know...I have about 90 seconds before I s#!t myself.

 

I come up with a pretty cool line to my buddies "Hey, I will be right back" and of course, they totally buy it.  I head to the bathroom and realize not only is the outside door propped open...but there is no stall door!

 

I quickly do the math...there were about 20 people in the bar that night, 14 of them were easily WWI vets so I knew I had a little bit of time.  I run into the stall rip down my acid washed jeans and start to "release the hounds" before I am even all the way on the seat.  I push and push, sweat dripping on my brow, my stomach contracting like I have just done 8 minute abs in fast forward while being hazed at my frat house...

 

It is over...or is it...it isn't.  I have a few more horrific pushes left and "it" is all out.  I wipe...of course it is one of those times where I have to wipe like 14 times.  I finish and pull my jeans back up...I felt like it all lasted less than two minutes.  

 

I get back to my table and right away I hear "Good lord, you were gone forever...did you...did you s#!t in there?"

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OK....people who wear sunglasses at night or indoors thinking it's a fashion statement.  Sorry, no....it makes you look like an idiot.  You see this all the time with celebrities and it's idiotic.  You're standing up on stage accepting your Oscar award....and.....you think you need sunglasses.

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  • 5 weeks later...

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I've got a couple good ones to add to this list:

 

1) People who rotate between gym equipment like they're tasting a charcuterie board. Pick a machine, do multiple sets, and get an actual workout in. Get the blood flowing. You're not shopping.

2) People who think you need to pronounce foreign words in the way native speakers do i.e. suggesting an English speaker pronounce Paris "Pear-ee." I haven't had a personal experience of this, but I've seen a bunch of morons recently running around social media suggesting Americans should be doing this and it's nonsense. I've never seen any other nationality held to this standard. It is NORMAL to pronounce words in your native language's linguistics.

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Drivers have sucked during the cell phone years, but in particular, people forgot about 90 degree turning behaviors.

 

Right Turn:  Vehicles turning to their right do so properly, because there is usually a curb to avoid/get around.

 

Left Turn:  Vehicles turning left are a$$h@!e drivers that will cut into your ongoing lane as sharp as they want to, with no boundaries or worries.  It is up to you stay back and let them do what they want.

 

I hate it.

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8 hours ago, admo said:

Drivers have sucked during the cell phone years, but in particular, people forgot about 90 degree turning behaviors.

 

Right Turn:  Vehicles turning to their right do so properly, because there is usually a curb to avoid/get around.

 

Left Turn:  Vehicles turning left are a$$h@!e drivers that will cut into your ongoing lane as sharp as they want to, with no boundaries or worries.  It is up to you stay back and let them do what they want.

 

I hate it.

 

My big one is people turning either direction think they're driving a huge semi with an extra long trailer so they swerve way out to make their turn. I narrowly avoid about 5-10 sideswipes per day. 

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