Post your best legit-sounding but utterly BS coaching rumor

[It'sNotAFakeID]

Just saw Jim Tressel drive across the parking lot at my apartment. He was drivin' a big ole' truck that had Nebraska Huskers license plate "THEVEST." He looked lost and stopped by me and asked, "Is this Lincoln?"

 

To which I responded, "Do you see a big red N on a big ole' stadium anywhere here? What business do you have in Lincoln anyway?"

 

He told me he was going to be the next coach of Nebraska. I pointed him in the right direction and watched him drive off into the sunset.

 

It's a great day to be a Husker fan y'all.

[onlyHskrfaninIL]

I know a mole within the UNL athletic offices. He/she/it overhead SE talking to Harv this afternoon. Turns out, 5 prominent coaches have already turned down the position. Bill Cowher was one of them. Jon Gruden was one. The other sounded like Carl something according to the mole, not sure on the others. I guess SE is freaking out but still really wants to make a "splash" hire. Apparently at the end of the conversation he started talking about being the first school to hire a black, female coach and mentioned something about using Dr. Tom's connections at some meeting this weekend. I'm guessing Condoleeza Rice. That's all I know.

[Joe_5700]

Fred Petito. Book it.

[Minnesota_husker]

As i was walking to take a dump in the ladies bathroom(it smells nicer and is usually cleaner) I overheard Jerry Kill's wife (we work on the same floor) talking to her sister asking her where would be the best place to live in Lincoln(In her sister lives in Lincoln).

 

As she was starting to share more information of the deal and when Jerry would start, i had a silent fart break away and the sound of my chipotle burrito attacking the sides of the bowl she stopped.

 

 

She asked who was there.... I think that might have been a bad time to start a "Husker Power" Chant.

[Fast Jimmy]

From what I've been hearing, the main reason for this is economics, primarily benefits and salary. They're going to re-hire Bo as a contractor instead of a full time employee- at a much lower hourly pay rate. He'll have to use Obamacare or the private exchanges for his family health care.

[sd'sker]

walks becomes AD, hires the yale coach from 1876, makes sure that no one tells him that the forward lateral is now legal.

[tschu]

As i was walking to take a dump in the ladies bathroom(it smells nicer and is usually cleaner) I overheard Jerry Kill's wife (we work on the same floor) talking to her sister asking her where would be the best place to live in Lincoln(In her sister lives in Lincoln).

 

As she was starting to share more information of the deal and when Jerry would start, i had a silent fart break away and the sound of my chipotle burrito attacking the sides of the bowl she stopped.

 

 

She asked who was there.... I think that might have been a bad time to start a "Husker Power" Chant.

 

hahahaha +1

[okaive]

Well not a HC rumor, but being told that the players are tweeting that SE is going to Wisconsin. (I dont have twitter to confirm)

[jjamuss]

I know a mole within the UNL athletic offices. He/she/it overhead SE talking to Harv this afternoon. Turns out, 5 prominent coaches have already turned down the position. Bill Cowher was one of them. Jon Gruden was one. The other sounded like Carl something according to the mole, not sure on the others. I guess SE is freaking out but still really wants to make a "splash" hire. Apparently at the end of the conversation he started talking about being the first school to hire a black, female coach and mentioned something about using Dr. Tom's connections at some meeting this weekend. I'm guessing Condoleeza Rice. That's all I know.

moley moley.... mole.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvxe04wGmTw

[lo country]

I came to this board because of the reputation as a no nonsense, knowledgeable board and home of some of the smartest fans in college football.

 

As I read these ridiculous guesses and "insider" knowledge of our members, I realized that i should have paid my $20 and joined Huskermax! But in all seriousness, I did the best thing I could and shot iamnewby a PM to get the scoop from the "guy in the know". Well, I also contacted a good friend who lives in Omaha and does fiber optic work who knows who gets their cable and internet set up....

 

So both sources have confirmed what we have all been talking about. We need a guy who knows the programs, the X's and O's and can relate to the kids and get those who might not be 4* and 5*, but can strap on the pads and get at it. A guy who knows the NU culture, how to recruit and how to make the most out of nothing. A guy who embodies the qualities of TO. With all of this in mind, I present to you, the new coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Not a shock when you think about it....

 

Mike Nobler;

He has been with the program for years.

He has been a part of some of NU's most memorable moments under Bo. Who can forget the "phone prank", the AA scaring the guys, the crazy fall dance, Bo holding the cat and the ability to capture those few and far between moments of Husker success. he is instrumental in it all.

He is in the film room tirelessly trying to edit that 2014 Wisky game so that there were actually Huskers in the frame, painstakingly found the one time that Cam didn't get owned in the B1G in 2012. That my friends takes a man with an eye for talent and the minute details......

 

Lastly, what made TO so successful was the red hair to go with the Big Red, not to mention rocking those awesome coaches shorts. I give you TO.02

 

 

http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/omaha.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/3/9c/39ca9328-2026-11e4-9c54-0017a43b2370/53e6be7c1fda7.image.jpg

And further proof he has the goods:

rest easy and take a deep breath. That my friends is the sweet smell of victory!

[Redux]

So get this, I'm standing in line at Scheels being rung up when all of the sudden the cashier looks out past me and says "holy crap, that's Mark Stoops". Sure enough I look behind me and walking hand in hand with a highly attractive woman is Mark Stoops. What the cashier doesn't notice however is that the woman with him is Jen Bielma. They are walking hand in hand in broad daylight like it's no big deal.

 

I decide it's too big an opportunity to pass up so I follow them to parking lot and follow them in my car. The destination is Granite City. The two walk in and approach a table where two men are already seated. The two men look to me like Shawn Eichorst and Jim Tressel! I try to get closer to eavesdrop but two large secuirty looking dudes make a B line for me so I high tail it outta there! I still can't believe it!

[Husker no ka oi]

So SE wants a new direction. Then I give you this.

 

Kevin Kelly

 

http://www.footballstudyhall.com/2013/11/15/5105958/fourth-down-pulaski-academy-kevin-kelley

 

HC/OC: Kevin Kelley

DC: doesn't matter

[VA Husker2]

Here's the scenario:

 

Following the model developed by the Coca-Cola Corp., a parallel universe, gentler, kinder, dtylized Bo Pelini will be introduced. After not only state but national rejection of this product, resulting in protests, burning of Nebraska memorabilia and mass exodus of the fan base to South Dakota State.

 

After which time, Shawn Eichorst will announce the return of Bo Pelini Classic.

 

This process will take exactly 78 days.

[GBRrodney]

Jim Tressel dressed up as Lil' Red. With his identity hidden the probation issues are solved. Having the mind of Tressel and the most disturbing mascot in sports looking at them from the opposite sideline, it will make an unbeatable combination.

 

[Blackshirts007]

I want Tim Riggins #33 #fridaynightlights #sexiestmanalive #blackshirts007girlfriend #HeNeedsToGetOffHuskerboardALLDay