Your Worst Date Story...

[GSG]

Not really a "date" but this this the story of the first night I met my girlfriend:

 

We had been talking online for about a month. She was moving to Colorado from Las Vegas. It just so happened that the day she was supposed to move into her apartment, that my buddy and I were going to be in the neighborhood for a concert.

 

She had a moving truck and was towing her car behind it. On her way up, the tires on the trailer blew out. She was stranded in BFE Utah until someone could come with a new trailer. She was supposed to meet us that afternoon so we could help move her in and then go out with us that night.

 

Since she was behind schedule she told us to just go out on our own and she would meet up with us. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch UFC and ended up getting completely sh*tfaced. I kept checking in with her and she was getting even further behind schedule due to the trailer complications.

 

By the time she got into town I was in no shape to make first impressions. I had spilled a drink all over my shoes earlier in the night, and when she showed up, I fell into a bush. I was terribly hung over the next day at the concert.

 

The day after the concert, we helped her move in, and about a year later I helped her move in with me

[huKSer]

Sallah: [catches date and points to dead monkey] Bad dates.

 

[Hooked on Huskers]

Not a worst date story but two girls involved in husband chasing contest. The prize was me ........ amazing huh? Anyway, one girl was a blonde and beautiful hair, nice racks, and pretty face. The other competitor, brown and plain-jane straight hair, A-cup size, long legs (nice!), kinda tall .... 6 feet tall, semi cute face but ugly coke bottle glasses (severe nearsighted at birth) and super friendly. Both fantastic kissing and reached 2nd base but no home run ... LOL. I choose blondie. Could be wrong decision. Basically my wife was a "dumb blonde" ...... and sometimes nagging, and very little job skills i.e. school bus driver, grocery store cashier, Target clerk, etc. Barely minimum wage salary. On the other hand, my brown gal was a smart cookie. She becomes a VP bank job and intelligent stock trader (buy or sell). Bottom line, she was RICH, multi-millionaire. Last time I visiting her was 10 years ago or so. Long conversation (mostly old memories). Super polite personality, I heard. Ageless face and perfect body (except A cup size) at 45 years old plus no glasses (laser eye surgery). Pretty IMO. I'm jealous for her husband. Oh well.

 

ADDED UPDATE:

 

I swear my input was Breaking Bad cast because .....

 

My wife is similar to Skyler both appearance and combo with Skyler and her sister personalities (Marie character).

 

And my brown girl reminds me of Gretchen Schwartz character (without glasses). BTW, she picked me up for the last conversation meeting ... she drive a brand new Mercedes S-Class car. This meeting place was a 5-star fine restaurant .... she partially owns it.

 

Another related subject. My brown hair gal husband ..... I knew him, semi-friendly in high school era. Occasionally hanged out together. Big weed users. I thought he was a gay guy because no interest at all for searching g/f dates but obviously I was wrong. His occupation: regular job, no college degree required, construction worker. Maybe wife swapping discussion (divorce & remarriage) with me and brown gal husband

[ADS]

I took a girl out last year and when I picked her up at her place and she gets in my truck and I can instantly smell alcohol. Her and her roommate decided to pound two bottles of wine before our date and she was hammered. Wasn't really all that bad, we actually dated for awhile before she moved away. Good times.

[ZRod]

Not really a bad date, but I was pretty pissed. My ex and I were supposed to go to The Dark Knight Rises opening night on the IMAX in Omaha, with a friend and his girl. My girl decides to go out for margaritas at Grandmothers with her manager because she was leaving town soon. No problem she'll have one and be over and we'll head up early since it's going to be a full house. Well it gets to be an hour till showtime and she still hasn't texted to say she's on her way, so I text her and she says she'll leave in 5 minutes. Ok, whatever, it takes a couple minutes to get to my place and my friend can save us seats. 10 Minutes later I call her and she's still there drinking and says she's leaving, I'm a little ticked now. A few minutes later I get a text that says she can't drive and she doesn't want to leave her car there, now I'm pissed. It's a little more than 30 minutes till showtime and it's going to take at least that long to get there. So I say f#*k it you're car is staying and I go pick her up. She reeks of tequila and of course is drunk. First time she ever did anything like that either, so I wasn't too impressed. We booked it up there and get to the theater right after the lights go down, of course she has to go to the bathroom and doesn't get back till the movie starts, she said she didn't puke but who knows. Fortunately my buddy had saved us some really good seats. I had to chuckle a little bit because she was holding her head and wouldn't look at the screen during the heavy action, but the smell of tequila was heavy. I didn't talk to her till we were out in the lobby, where she proceeded to head straight for the bathroom and vomit. Oh karma!

It was also a little entertaining because this was the day after the Aurora shooting, and as drunken girls are inclined to, she was freaking out on the ride up that we were going to get shot in the theater.

[walksalone]

I was in HS, and the g/f of my best friend Mike hooks me up with one of her friends. I've met her a few times and I know I'm seriously outkicking my coverage, but what the hell. I worked in a warehouse after school, so I get my check, and I haul ass home to get ready go out, and I had an hour to get ready.

 

I get home, my Mom immediately starts yelling at me to get the dog in. After a arguing for a couple minutes I run outside and start calling the dog. I hear him barking down near the railroad tracks, so I run to the embankment to see what he's barking at. Next thing I know, I see him hauling ass up the hill, and something is chasing him. The dog flies past me, and it looks like a cat is chasing him. The "cat" stops about 5 feet from me, and "spray's" me. Not a "cat", but a skunk. I start freaking out and running back to the house. My Mom immediately starts dying laughing. I give her 20 bucks to go get all the tomato juice she can. She gets back, and I douse myself in tomato juice and destroy about 3 layers of skin with a brillo pad trying to get the stink out. I get dressed, dump a sh*t ton of cologne on myself and haul ass to the next town over to meet Mike and the girls. I pull up, only about 10 minutes late, and Mike's like, "why do you smell like a french whore", so I proceed to tell him what happened. 5 minutes later when he was able to breath again from laughing so hard, we go in and meet the girls.

 

So then 10 minutes into dinner, when I think I'm going to actual make it through this, Mike tells her what happened to me. Needless to say, me punching him in the mouth didn't improve my chances...

[The Dude]

Alright, dig it

 

Cold coolin' at a bar and I'm lookin' for some action

But like Mike Jagger said, 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction'

The girls are all around but none of them wanna get with me

My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def, yo, what's up with L O C?

 

The girls all jockin' at the other end of the bar

Havin' drinks with some no-name chump

When they know that I'm the star

So, I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, why you so fly? He said, Funky Cold Medina

 

Funky Cold Medina

 

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks

Put a little Medina in your glass and the girls'll come real quick

It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac

A couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap

 

So, I gave some to my dog when he began to beg

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me

And did the wild thing on my leg

He used to scratch and bite me before he was much, much meaner

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

 

You know what I'm sayin'?

I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down' my door

I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's

They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

 

I went up to this girl, she said, Hi, my name is Sheena

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, I'd like a drink, I said, Ehm, ok, I'll go get it

Then a couple sips, she cold licked her lips

And I knew that she was with it

 

So, I took her to my crib and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So, I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

 

You know, ain't no plans with a man

This is the 80's and I'm down with the ladies

Break it down

 

Back in the saddle, lookin' for a little affection

I took a shot as a contestant on 'The Love Connection'

The audience voted and you know they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

 

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'

Instead she started talkin' 'bout plans for our weddin'

I said, wait, slow down, love, not so fast, says, I'll be seein' ya

That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

 

Ya know what I'm sayin'

That Medina's a monster, y'all

 

Funky Cold Medina

[teachercd]

Some of these are fantastic! Makes my explosive diarrhea story seem pretty lame!

 

There have got to me more. I know that most of us posters on this site have either never been with a girl (like me) or just been with girls that were actually dudes (again, like me) but there must be more!

[Redux]

My HS consolidated with the next town over right before my Freshman year so there was an abundance of new faces to sort through. This one gal really had an eye for me and her friend was trying hard to hook is up. I rode around with them one night and she kept nudging me to ask her out. I didnt feel like doing that with her around so I didnt.

 

The next Monday we had a job fair thing going on so it was a no class free for all. Me and my buddy were bumming around and would bump into the two girls so I would do my usual flirty routine whenever the chance arose. After half a day of me being quite forward towards her it was revealed to me that my buddy asked her out like the next day after I didnt. Well, I felt like a heel. So instead I hit on the other chick.

 

Fast forward like 2 months and she inevitably breaks up with my buddy and just happens to be drunk at one of my parties. Unfortunately I was a backyard wrestler and was in the next match so when she came up to me with googly eyes I had to pass for the moment. Not 15 minutes later she left with some other dude.

 

Month later Im cruising main street with my buddy when wouldnt ya know it, she flags us down. He still is mad at her yet she walks up to my window and convinces me to tell him to hit the road so we can go be alone.

 

Im such a jerk. Happy ending though, I was her first that night. We dated for 2.5 years and then she broke up with me and toyed with my head for 3 more years. Now she has a kid from a dude 20 years older than her that disappeared and it makes me laugh.

[teachercd]

My HS consolidated with the next town over right before my Freshman year so there was an abundance of new faces to sort through. This one gal really had an eye for me and her friend was trying hard to hook is up. I rode around with them one night and she kept nudging me to ask her out. I didnt feel like doing that with her around so I didnt.

 

The next Monday we had a job fair thing going on so it was a no class free for all. Me and my buddy were bumming around and would bump into the two girls so I would do my usual flirty routine whenever the chance arose. After half a day of me being quite forward towards her it was revealed to me that my buddy asked her out like the next day after I didnt. Well, I felt like a heel. So instead I hit on the other chick.

 

Fast forward like 2 months and she inevitably breaks up with my buddy and just happens to be drunk at one of my parties. Unfortunately I was a backyard wrestler and was in the next match so when she came up to me with googly eyes I had to pass for the moment. Not 15 minutes later she left with some other dude.

 

Month later Im cruising main street with my buddy when wouldnt ya know it, she flags us down. He still is mad at her yet she walks up to my window and convinces me to tell him to hit the road so we can go be alone.

 

Im such a jerk. Happy ending though, I was her first that night. We dated for 2.5 years and then she broke up with me and toyed with my head for 3 more years. Now she has a kid from a dude 20 years older than her that disappeared and it makes me laugh.

Did you grow up in the tiny town from the movie Footloose??

[ColoradoHusk]

 

My HS consolidated with the next town over right before my Freshman year so there was an abundance of new faces to sort through. This one gal really had an eye for me and her friend was trying hard to hook is up. I rode around with them one night and she kept nudging me to ask her out. I didnt feel like doing that with her around so I didnt.

 

The next Monday we had a job fair thing going on so it was a no class free for all. Me and my buddy were bumming around and would bump into the two girls so I would do my usual flirty routine whenever the chance arose. After half a day of me being quite forward towards her it was revealed to me that my buddy asked her out like the next day after I didnt. Well, I felt like a heel. So instead I hit on the other chick.

 

Fast forward like 2 months and she inevitably breaks up with my buddy and just happens to be drunk at one of my parties. Unfortunately I was a backyard wrestler and was in the next match so when she came up to me with googly eyes I had to pass for the moment. Not 15 minutes later she left with some other dude.

 

Month later Im cruising main street with my buddy when wouldnt ya know it, she flags us down. He still is mad at her yet she walks up to my window and convinces me to tell him to hit the road so we can go be alone.

 

Im such a jerk. Happy ending though, I was her first that night. We dated for 2.5 years and then she broke up with me and toyed with my head for 3 more years. Now she has a kid from a dude 20 years older than her that disappeared and it makes me laugh.

Did you grow up in the tiny town from the movie Footloose??

 

 

[StPaulHusker]

My HS consolidated with the next town over right before my Freshman year so there was an abundance of new faces to sort through. This one gal really had an eye for me and her friend was trying hard to hook is up. I rode around with them one night and she kept nudging me to ask her out. I didnt feel like doing that with her around so I didnt.

 

The next Monday we had a job fair thing going on so it was a no class free for all. Me and my buddy were bumming around and would bump into the two girls so I would do my usual flirty routine whenever the chance arose. After half a day of me being quite forward towards her it was revealed to me that my buddy asked her out like the next day after I didnt. Well, I felt like a heel. So instead I hit on the other chick.

 

Fast forward like 2 months and she inevitably breaks up with my buddy and just happens to be drunk at one of my parties. Unfortunately I was a backyard wrestler and was in the next match so when she came up to me with googly eyes I had to pass for the moment. Not 15 minutes later she left with some other dude.

 

Month later Im cruising main street with my buddy when wouldnt ya know it, she flags us down. He still is mad at her yet she walks up to my window and convinces me to tell him to hit the road so we can go be alone.

 

Im such a jerk. Happy ending though, I was her first that night. We dated for 2.5 years and then she broke up with me and toyed with my head for 3 more years. Now she has a kid from a dude 20 years older than her that disappeared and it makes me laugh.

You chose a backyard wrestling match over hooking up with a girl? That sh#t aint right.

[Redux]

No, we could dance if we wanted to. I could have left my friends behind...

[Redux]

 

My HS consolidated with the next town over right before my Freshman year so there was an abundance of new faces to sort through. This one gal really had an eye for me and her friend was trying hard to hook is up. I rode around with them one night and she kept nudging me to ask her out. I didnt feel like doing that with her around so I didnt.

The next Monday we had a job fair thing going on so it was a no class free for all. Me and my buddy were bumming around and would bump into the two girls so I would do my usual flirty routine whenever the chance arose. After half a day of me being quite forward towards her it was revealed to me that my buddy asked her out like the next day after I didnt. Well, I felt like a heel. So instead I hit on the other chick.

Fast forward like 2 months and she inevitably breaks up with my buddy and just happens to be drunk at one of my parties. Unfortunately I was a backyard wrestler and was in the next match so when she came up to me with googly eyes I had to pass for the moment. Not 15 minutes later she left with some other dude.

Month later Im cruising main street with my buddy when wouldnt ya know it, she flags us down. He still is mad at her yet she walks up to my window and convinces me to tell him to hit the road so we can go be alone.

Im such a jerk. Happy ending though, I was her first that night. We dated for 2.5 years and then she broke up with me and toyed with my head for 3 more years. Now she has a kid from a dude 20 years older than her that disappeared and it makes me laugh.

 

You chose a backyard wrestling match over hooking up with a girl? That sh#t aint right.

Um, it was a title match brah. Gotta defend my strap.

[BigRedBuster]

Who the heck goes to a party to wrestle?