cornographic Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 My Fellow Americans and...'Muricans, I come to you today with great gravitas of heart and mind. As you know, would-be Fuhrer Trump has recently informed us that we are under attack and this attack has been going on for some time now. I realize in these times that it can be quite difficult to discern--according to the MSM--just exactly who we are under the attack of as the imminent or would'be attackers seem to change on a daily basis. Is it Russia? No. Is it Iran? ISIS? Nah. N. Korea? Not hardly. Syria, Yemen, China, Venezuela? Nupe, nupe, nupe. CUBA, it has to be Cuba, right? Nada, Nunca. No, my friends, the threat is much more severe and insidious, and it is happening right under our noses: it's the invasion of alien anchor babies! OMG! Patriots, don't let their slight stature and general adorability fool you! No, these, these...babies, as Trump reminds us, are hardened criminals, well, maybe just potential criminals for now, but make no mistake, soon--once they're able to walk--they will be invading your suburban neighborhoods, breaking down the gates of your gated communities, descending upon your rooftops in the middle of the night, storming thru your doors and windows, hiding under your bed, in the closest, and when you least expect it: blamo! Unlike many of their 'illegal' parents, whom by Fuhrer Trump's Plan, can be easily "rounded up" and deported--with otherwise disturbing references to "boxcars"--these kids, these miniature terrorists have a powerful and legal stronghold within our proud country as we speak, namely the 14th Amendment, which we can now reflect upon the obvious covert, seditious nature of those who designed and documented such a treasonous 'law' as being the work of, well, as Trump would say with profound depth of thought, insight, and articulation, "very bad people"! Alien Anchor Babies gonna get yo' momma! Gonna steal yo' sista! Alien Anchor Babies gonna storm the Whitehouse, gonna take yo' job, gonna bring down the economy, gonna boycott Gerber Foods, Toys R Us, gonna loot big box stores for their ruthless, insatiable desire for Pampers--all this until their demands are met! And what is their primary demand? FREE PACIFIERS FOR ALL! They have actually threatened, through their Teddy Bear liason, that they will "take to the streets" of the upper west side Manhattan and engage in "vigilante hordes" of Black Bloc Anarchist style rock throwing assaults on the shiney edifice of Trump Tower until the squirrel held against it's will on the top of his head is liberated once and for all! These babies will stop at nothing! One of them actually spit up on the stolen blueprints for Trump's Great Wall: the nerve! We are in a national state of emergency, my brethren, the likes of which we have not seen since, well, uhm, the invasion of "illegal" Sandinistan Nicaraguan and Guevarrian Guatamalan kids about a year ago! They mean to destroy us from within! What can you do? What can we do? What can anyone do--to kids? Anything you try to do them, well, you know, it tends to look, to borrow again from Trump, really really bad, like, the worst--that is, if public opinion means anything to anybody. It's really a public relations nightmare of the highest order and that, my friends, is the secret to their power over us and what makes these despicable alien anchor babies virtually immune to retaliation. Yet, fight back we must. We must join together and send a message to these rogue babies that we are mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore! We must crush this invasion of alien anchor babies if we are to adhere to the Fuhrer's 'trumpet' call to, "MAKE ANGRY WHITE 'MURICANS FEEL GREAT AGIN"! 4 Link to comment
Street Novelist Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 You need help. That amount of anger can't be healthy. 1 Link to comment
JJ Husker Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 It's a toss up for me as to what's worse. Those Alien Anchor Babies or the Tree Hugging Lefty Commie Progressive Liberals. Well actually that's not that tough of a choice I guess. Link to comment
Creighton Duke Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Worst OP ever on Huskerboard (saying A LOT, I know)? Link to comment
rawhide Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Wow, went from zero to Nazi in 0.8 seconds. Link to comment
Dr. Strangelove Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I enjoyed the satire OP. Link to comment
NUance Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 +1 solely for the Trump photo. lulz Link to comment
ZRod Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 You need help. That amount of anger can't be healthy. Pot meet kettle. 2 Link to comment
Moiraine Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 You need help. That amount of anger can't be healthy. Pot meet kettle. Dude this isn't Beauty and the Beast duhhh Link to comment
ZRod Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 You need help. That amount of anger can't be healthy. Pot meet kettle. Dude this isn't Beauty and the Beast duhhh Shut the f#*k up Donny! Link to comment
cornographic Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 Forgot to mention that they cracked the 'Ashley Madison' hacker case just the other day. Turns out, it was Alien Anchor Baby hackers who were looking for their absentee, adulterous, gringo daddies(such 'losers). I always like to see familes reunited, though. Link to comment
TGHusker Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 +1 solely for the Trump photo. lulz the trump photo was entertaining but I also like the horse/post picture post (is that a double negative? ) below it. Link to comment
cornographic Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 Trump made money the old fashioned way: he inherited it...and stole the rest. 1 Link to comment
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