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Overzealous parents/grandparents


Bigred_inSD

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Had my first experience with an over involved grandparent at my sons soccer game today.  He plays in U-7 and the first fit the guy threw was because my kids team scored (they dont keep actual score during these games) and his grandkids team wasn't set so he felt the need to yell for them to stop and the goal shouldn't "count"  and to reset the play.

 

The second time he got mad was when the kid my team is on was using a goalie (which we did all game, and his team did at the start)he started yelling at th female coach of my team how that is illegal at that level of soccer and the kid wasn't having fun ( she asks kids before they play who wants to be goalie) I finally confronted him during the game and he went on about how he's been involved in soccer for 20+ years and knew the rules, I responded by asking if he was familiar with the rule about respecting coaches and letting coaches coach.   He muttered something under his breathe.  Shortly after that my kids team scored again and technically using soccer rules it would have been offsides so I asked if he was going to b*tch about that too.  His wife then stood up and said the point of the game was for kids to get touches (apparently not for them to have fun as I asked her) and that she was going to contact the league president and turn in our team.

 

I'll state again no score is officially  kept ( our team did score more and I think the old man was just super pissed) and no standings are kept.  

 

But how sad is your life where you need to tell during a game of soccer involving six year olds? Or am I a douche for confronting him?

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I think its the adult's fault.  The adults who put their kids into organized sports before 5th grade.

 

Back when I was a kid in the stone age if you wanted to play a game you grabbed a ball and got your friends, made up your own rules and played.  No adults needed.  Also no adults on the sidelines causing trouble.

 

Nothing personal against the OP,  it is just how society is today.

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33 minutes ago, huKSer said:

The adults who put their kids into organized sports before 5th grade.

I think this is part of the problem.  I didn't allow my kids to play sports until around this age.  Kids generally have a life expectancy of 8 years in sports.  That has not changed in 50 years.  the earlier you start them, the earlier they quit.  I think there tends to be over parenting at that age as well.  Kids probably don't know what they want at that age.  It tends to be parent centered.  Not sure I answered or added anything.  Sorry to OP.  Parents and grandparents have ruined a lot for me.  My kids started sports later.  I waited until they begged me.  My 2 daughters were 3 sport athletes all through high school.  They never played club sports.  My son is still a 3 sport athlete as a junior in HS.  He did play AAU in junior high.  I let them do what they wanted.  I have always tried to stay out of it.  Parents are a pain all the way through college.  I was at one of my daughters college meets last year.  A parent was unloading on a college coach.  It never ends.....

 

End of ranting.

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You are not a douche...you probably didn't need to say anything either because of course now that dudes story is including you as the "douche" if that makes sense.

 

Sports at all ages should be fun...sports at that young of an age should really be fun.  

 

As someone who has worked with parents for a long time I have found out a few things...

 

1.  Parents/Grandparents always think they are right and they think they are even more right especially when they are wrong.  

 

2.  Parents will do anything to "protect" their kid (even when they don't need protecting at all), it is the "mama bear" parenting approach.  

 

Most of those games don't even have refs, right?  There is a reason.  And as someone who has coached at all levels and lots of different sports...the younger the team (if there are refs) the less likely the refs are to ruin the game...they are their to keep it simple.  I have had refs talk to me before games and say "My goal tonight...to not pull out my flag once" and I am super happy with that.

 

 

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I'm very proud of the sports careers all three of my kids had.  They all three found a sport they loved and excelled in and participated in others.

 

I am also very proud that I made it all the way through kids sports and HS and never once confronted a coach or felt that I needed to have a "private" meeting with one to set him/her straight.


I have been in situations where I have had to confront parents from our school because they were being totally embarrassing for the community and team.  I have also spent the remainder of the sporting event with the father yelling at the back of my head calling me names.  It was so pleasant for everyone involved.  This same parent had his own son confront him before the next season pleading with him to remain quiet in the stands because it's embarrassing for him on the court.

 

I also have had multiple friends who have coached and most of the time they get out....because of the parents.

 

Parents can screw up a kids activity more than anything else.

 

Sometimes parents/grandparents need confronted.  It's a sad fact of life.

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