Nebraska Cornhuskers Football Send Letter to NCAA for Recommendation...

[ChrisBrownSportsBeat]

In the topsy-turvy world of college football season where the unpredictable happens and reality seems like fiction, the Nebraska Cornhuskers football team and Head Coach Scott Frost has sent a letter to the National College Athletic Association to withdraw their D-1 status in hopes of downgrading to Division III.  Also hidden deep within the letter is a recommendation to let the Nebraska Cornhuskers play the song, “Glory Days,” by Bruce Springsteen before every home football game over the stadium PA system.

After dropping their ninth loss of the season to the Iowa Hawkeyes, Nebraska fans and players felt defeated and shucked after the game.  Many fans were so upset that they started burning their authentic corn husk hats.  When asked for comment, Nebraska fan, Jimbob Skeeter said, “We were playing great up until the point where Iowa blocked our punt.  I realized then that it’s actually true what everyone in the nation outside of Nebraska was saying about Cornhusker football….we SUCK!”  Many fans have recently been calling for Head Coach Scott Frost’s termination, calling him by a new moniker, Scott Fraud.

On the Iowa side, Hawkeye Elvis said, “Man, I haven’t seen a hunka hunka beatin’ like that since Rodney King!  When we were down 21-9 going into the 4^th quarter, it really singed my sideburns.  Then, I looked down at Coach Ferentz and saw him smacking on that Bubbalicious bubblegum with confidence.  That’s when I knew we’d be okay.  Just let Nebraska make Nebraska mistakes and the rest will take care of itself.”  When asked for his input, Head Coach Kirk Ferentz stated, “That’s football.”

Regarding the letter to downgrade to D-III football, the overall feeling of Nebraska fans is that they think they’d at least have a chance at a 5-7 season if they played in that division.  Head Coach Scott Frost was unavailable to comment on the letter.  Trev Alberts, Nebraska’s Athletic Director had this to say, “If we can start playing Division III football and if…and that’s a big if, Scott Frost can win at least 5 games, we plan on giving him a 15-year $255 million contract extension just because he’s a Nebraska boy.”  When asked about the Cornhuskers’ irrelevance in both the Big Ten and across the college football sphere, Alberts replied, “What?  I’ll have to get back to you because I have to go look up the word “irrelevance” in the dictionary.” 

We asked the NCAA Commissioner’s Office for comment on the letter and a person who chose to speak on the condition of anonymity, but is familiar with the matter said, “This letter holds no weight, just like the Nebraska Cornhuskers can’t hold a lead in their football games.”


Update:  Upon the publication of this story, we learned that Head Coach Scott Frost was out hunting the day we were conducting interviews.  We soon learned that he’s in an undisclosed hospital undergoing treatment for shooting himself in both feet.  We wish Coach Frost a speedy recovery.