College football employment guidelines:

(1) Lose 3-4 games/year: FIRED

(2) Keep a wife beater on your staff for 3 years and and then lie about it: HANG ON THIS IS VERY COMPLICATED WE NEED TO REVIEW THIS PLEASE TAKE SOME MONEY AND STAY HOME FOR A WHILE

— Faux Pelini (@FauxPelini) August 3, 2018