Any single fathers here who don't have custody??

Try to remember that you once loved the woman who had your kids. You may not now but at one time you did. Put the reasons your split behind you. Treat her with respect and hopefully things will be smooth and you will be able to have access to your kids when ever you want.

Worked for me. We see each other occasionally and are cordial. We have even spent some holidays together. One thing I always did was make sure she always got gifts from the kids for Christmas, Mother's Day and her birthday.

Hope things work out for you.

T_O_B

 
I'm not necessarily a "single father" since I remarried but I have two kids from my previous marriage who live with their mom in North Carolina. It was tough moving to Oklahoma but it was the best thing I could do at the time. At any rate, continue to be in your childs life no matter how difficult things are between you and their mother (presuming you're separated/divorced). Never talk down to them about their mother; never let on you're mad at their mother, etc. I called and talked to my kids as much as I could and did everything I could to be a part of their lives. Asked about their schooling, their personal lives, etc, etc. If you live near by, attend school functions, pick them up after school, spend weekends with them. The kids will rebound from this. I promise. And so will you. May not seem like it now but things will get better. In fact my oldest son begged his mom to let him come live with me and after about a year or so of trying she finally agreed to let him come live with me this year.

In general, forge a relationship with your child(ren) as best you can and continue to be their father.

 
I have a 15 year old daughter from my first marriage. I live in Florida and she lives in North Dakota. It is rough, but like others have stated....stay in touch with them as much as you can. Also remain civil with the other half. Even after she tries to push your buttons or make you pissed. Good words my dad once told me....Any man can be a dad, but to be a father, takes years of hard work!

 
HuskerfaninOkieland said:
Never talk down to them about their mother; never let on you're mad at their mother, etc. I called and talked to my kids as much as I could and did everything I could to be a part of their lives.
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this is definitely something I agree with. Although I'm not a father...I remember when my parents got divorced and even though I was 18 years old by then, it was still hard on me. And it made it worse when my dad would (and still does) say mean things about my mom. My mom doesn't really say too much about my dad...but I think that has to do with her upbringing. Her parents divorced when she was around the same age and her dad told her and her siblings that they will never say anything bad about her mother and he won't either...because she is still their mother.

 
Axl..

PM me if you want to talk.

It's been ~14 months of waking up every morning, swearing at God because I didn't die in my sleep..Slowly stringing days together that I'm not devising new ways of offing myself so that it looks accidental.

It does get better.

It really helps that I have an amazing Son that has a great Mom.

Those 11 and a half days apart are really tough to get used to..Sometimes I think it would be easier for both of us if I just dissappeared, but then, he'll just sit in my lap for hours at a time with his arms around me and tells me he loves me and misses me..and I feel like a turd for thinking of leaving him.

 
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