crap that pisses me off at work

H

HuskerBob

New member
man after seeing that corporate story slacker posted made me think of the many dam things that piss me off at work.

and i need a place to vent so heres one off the top of my head. im sure i'll come up with more along the way..

people that talk to you while youre in the bathroom...

even worse when youre in the stall!~!!! :steam man theres a line you cant cross when in the crapper.

1) you dont make eye contact unless its incidental

2) you ONLY talk to someone who is in the same position you are. i.e. both pissin, both washing hands etc. except BOTh crapping!

And this "jibber jabber" should only be outta neceissity.. if you see the boss or whatever. otherwise I don wanna be in there any longer than I havta so leve me the fuk alonE!!! :up

there i feel better..... :blink:

 
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As we gaze into the bathroom, we see HuskerBob astride the throne. Everything is, uh, coming along nicely. Suddenly, AR Husker Fan enters - and selects the adjacent stall. For a moment, all is silence. We hear a faint "ker-PLOP" from HuskerBob's stall, and a sigh of relief.

 

"Say", says AR Husker Fan, "here's a little known fact. A good crap can actually lower blood pressure. Innat something?"

 

A grunt - the "yeah, yeah, leave me the hell alone" variety - is heard from HuskerBob's stall.

 

"And there's more", continues AR Husker Fan, "Seems that tension is also relieved by a good crap. Did 'ja know that?"

 

Growl of frustration from HuskerBob's stall...

 

"And here's another little known fact", comes AR Husker Fan's voice. "Did you know that there is a particular bathroom ettiquite that should be followed?"

 

We see steam - and not the kind from fresh cow patties - rising from HuskerBob's stall...

 

"Yep. Let's say when you enter the bathroom, there's four urinals. There's already a guy there, and his in the second from the right. Which one should you take?"

 

HuskerBob, in a voice of barely controlled fury, answers...

 

"Look, buddy, I don't give a damn. I'm here for one purpose, and one purpose only, and you're not helping."

 

"My apologies", replies AR Husker Fan, "I just find that a little conversation makes things go, well, faster."

 

"Well, I don't. Shut up!"

 

"Sure, sure. I understand. The act of taking a crap is highly personal in nature, and each person has their own level of comfort. Why, did you know that in some cultures, it's considered impolite to..."

 

[SIZE=21pt]KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]

 

As the camera pulls back, we see that HuskerBob's stall has exploded. Wait, that's not quite right. Upon closer examination, it appears that...could it be?....yes, it it! HuskerBob's head has exploded.

 

We now return you to your regular programing...

 
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Things to do in the bathroom at work (to piss HuskerBob off):

1. Stick yor palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor,"May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly everytime somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toliet bowl from a couple of feet up, Then sigh relaxingly

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,"Whoa ! Easy boy!!"

11. Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and oven again on your butt cheeks

17. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down you "Cross- Dressors Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "BornFree"

 
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