Cy the Cyclone
Starter
It has become obvious to Cy that last week the entire state of Kansas was out to get me and attempt to dethrone me from the lofty position of Self Acclaimed Best Football Game Predictor In All Of The Land by purposely ruining two of my picks. Because of this blantant conspiracy by the only state west of the Mississippi that starts with K (other than Colorado when spelled out by a CU undergrad)both predictions are hereby reversed, thereby making my record of correct predictions absolutely perfect...Now, on to the picks for Week 2
Idaho at Nebraska – Idaho thoroughly dismantled North Dakota in week one with a devastating passing attack. Nathan Enderle is a stud at quarterback and Idaho is actually a pretty solid team though they are a bit one dimensional with the rushing attack being quite a bit less potent than the passing game. So, where Western Kentucky tested the Husker defense on the ground…Idaho will test it through the air. On defense, they are beatable on the ground which plays to Nebraska’s strength. By pounding the ball between the tackles, Nebraska should easily wear down the Idaho defense while controlling the clock. Take the ball out of Enderle’s hands and this should be a pretty easy win.
Winner – Nebraska
Georgia Tech at Kansas – Thank you Kansas for ruining my initial week of predictions. But who in their right mind would have pictured Kansas as being as totally inept as they appeared last week. Kansas has now managed to trivialize the Big 12 even more than ever thought possible and possibly ruined their chances for an invite to the Sun Belt Conference when the Big 12 implodes. Georgia Tech will make Kansas wish that North Dakota State was back this week as they shovel more dirt onto the grave of Kansas football.
Winner – Georgia Tech
Colorado at California – Dan Hawkins got his signature win of the year last week against Colorado State with a stunning 24-3 victory…after which the area surrounding Boulder erupted in a huge wildfire as if to prove that hell has not yet frozen over. California, meanwhile, crushed UC-Davis which is akin to crushing a kitty or a puppy. Colorado actually resembles a kitty or a puppy this year. The only question about this game should be if the PAC-10 is beginning to regret their decision to invite Colorado to join up. Well, they should remember that Kansas is still available
Winner – California
Iowa State at Iowa – Both teams easily handled half the state of Illinois last week with Iowa State knocking off Northern Illinois and Eastern Iowa University kicking the crap out of some high school’s cheerleading squad. Iowa has hyped its’ team up so much this year that they are beginning to rival Texas as a fan base whose heads will no longer fit into 10-gallon hats (though they still fit up their asses) but they need to prove it against a quality team. Iowa State will pretend to be that quality team this weekend. Unfortunately, the game is in Iowa City where the groundskeepers will be sure to apply at least 3 feet of excess water to the field to slow the Iowa State ground game and Iowa State will start Austen Arnaud at QB…two things that guarantee a win for Iowa
Winner – Iowa
Florida State at Oklahoma – Is it just me or did Oklahoma look kinda pathetic in its’ win over Utah State? Hopefully Stoops has learned his lesson and the offense spends the entire game handing the ball off to DeMarco Murray. Landry Jones looked more like Tom Landry out there at QB…all he needed was a funny hat. Florida State is a fairly decent team who managed to crush Samford while still looking average. This could be an interesting game but Murray is the odds changer
Winner – Oklahoma
McNeese State at Missouri – Is Illinois that good or is Missouri just bad this year? Well, since it is Illinois we’re talking about here, I have to go with Missouri being bad. Missouri appears to have no running game yet so it all falls on Gabbert. Luckily they rebound from the Illinois game with a scrimmage against that football juggernaut McNeese State who pulled off a close victory against Lamar…the school, not the dog that used to star in the Quick Trip commercials (though the dog is better known). Though a couple of teams fell early to FBS teams, Missouri should be able to avoid this embarrassment…this week anyway.
Winner – Missouri
Wyoming at Texas – Wyoming has the distinction of being the very last team listed alphabetically in any listing of BCS football teams. They also have the distinction of having been real good a couple of times in the past. They also have a QB named Austyn who doesn’t suck and who actually changed the spelling of his name so he would not be mistaken for another QB named Austin who does suck. But…regardless, the Wyoming running game sucks along with their defense and it’s hard to get a passing game going when you have to loft the ball over all the inflated Texas egos. The game should be decided pretty early
Winner – Texas
Buffalo at Baylor – Baylor crushed Sam Houston State while Buffalo crushed Rhode Island…which is an actual state that is smaller than the campus of Sam Houston State. All of this means…who cares? Where, exactly do the states of Rhode Island and Sam Houston actually rank in the big scheme of things? Or Buffalo for that matter? Who puts these schedules together anyway. A Buffalo is a large, grass eating mammal while a Baylor is something you use to gather up hay into squares so you can feed it to Buffalos. Geez…even the very premise of this game has me talking gibberish.
Winner – Baylor
Louisiana Tech at Texas A&M – Louisiana Tech has the distinction of being one of only four BCS schools that has “Tech” in it’s name. It also has the distinction of being the only one of four schools that has “Tech” in it’s name that truly sucks at the game of football. Texas A&M continues to make its’ bid to join the SEC on the field as they crush football powerhouses such as Stephen F Austin, Florida International and, yes, Louisiana Tech as they strive to be the next Kansas.
Winner – Texas A&M
Troy at Oklahoma State – First of all, I am starting a petition to rename the remove “Boone” from the Oklahoma State football stadium and rename it “Nose” in order to more represent the team’s fan base. That being said, Kendall Hunter is a great running back while Brandon Weeden should transfer to Colorado where his name would be more representative of the fan base. This should be a fairly easy win for OK State as the rumor going around is that Troy is only playing for the big payoff so they can purchase a last name…Aikman is up for bid on e-bay
Winner – Oklahoma State
Missouri State at Kansas State – Kansas State is the second team that ruined my prediction record to start the year. Fortunately, I hated them anyway so this does not count against my overall results. While Nebraska was crushing Western Kentucky, Missouri State was pounding Eastern Kentucky which only goes to prove that it sucks to live in Kentucky if you ever want to win a football game. Other than that…meh. This game should prove the non-conference games against little schools are a great time to beef up your stats.
Winner – Kansas State
New Mexico at Texas Tech – Ah New Mexico…crushed by Oregon by 72 points last week…destined to be crushed by Texas Tech this week and then by Utah the week after that. Has a BCS football team ever gone through a season without scoring an offensive touch down? New Mexico may be the first. Texas Tech won against a pretty decent SMU squad (though SMU was handicapped by having June Jones as their coach) and should easily obliterate their neighbor to the west as New Mexico is kind of like the 2010 version of Poland between Texas Tech’s Germany and Arizona’s Russia.
Winner – Texas Tech
There you have it…the winners for week two. On another note, Boz is playing Jr. High football this year. With 85 kids out, they divide the teams into A (the good players) B (average players) and C (New Mexico) squads. They were going to name players to different teams this week so I asked him before school where he though he would end up. He says…
”Well, I don’t really think I’ll be on the A squad cuz those kids are all so gung-ho football and they are kind of jerks. I also think I’d like to be something besides Center for a change because I’ve always been Center and I’d like to try something else for a change”
Last night when I got home from work I asked him what team he ended up on and he says to me in a disgusted voice…
“A team Center….”
Idaho at Nebraska – Idaho thoroughly dismantled North Dakota in week one with a devastating passing attack. Nathan Enderle is a stud at quarterback and Idaho is actually a pretty solid team though they are a bit one dimensional with the rushing attack being quite a bit less potent than the passing game. So, where Western Kentucky tested the Husker defense on the ground…Idaho will test it through the air. On defense, they are beatable on the ground which plays to Nebraska’s strength. By pounding the ball between the tackles, Nebraska should easily wear down the Idaho defense while controlling the clock. Take the ball out of Enderle’s hands and this should be a pretty easy win.
Winner – Nebraska
Georgia Tech at Kansas – Thank you Kansas for ruining my initial week of predictions. But who in their right mind would have pictured Kansas as being as totally inept as they appeared last week. Kansas has now managed to trivialize the Big 12 even more than ever thought possible and possibly ruined their chances for an invite to the Sun Belt Conference when the Big 12 implodes. Georgia Tech will make Kansas wish that North Dakota State was back this week as they shovel more dirt onto the grave of Kansas football.
Winner – Georgia Tech
Colorado at California – Dan Hawkins got his signature win of the year last week against Colorado State with a stunning 24-3 victory…after which the area surrounding Boulder erupted in a huge wildfire as if to prove that hell has not yet frozen over. California, meanwhile, crushed UC-Davis which is akin to crushing a kitty or a puppy. Colorado actually resembles a kitty or a puppy this year. The only question about this game should be if the PAC-10 is beginning to regret their decision to invite Colorado to join up. Well, they should remember that Kansas is still available
Winner – California
Iowa State at Iowa – Both teams easily handled half the state of Illinois last week with Iowa State knocking off Northern Illinois and Eastern Iowa University kicking the crap out of some high school’s cheerleading squad. Iowa has hyped its’ team up so much this year that they are beginning to rival Texas as a fan base whose heads will no longer fit into 10-gallon hats (though they still fit up their asses) but they need to prove it against a quality team. Iowa State will pretend to be that quality team this weekend. Unfortunately, the game is in Iowa City where the groundskeepers will be sure to apply at least 3 feet of excess water to the field to slow the Iowa State ground game and Iowa State will start Austen Arnaud at QB…two things that guarantee a win for Iowa
Winner – Iowa
Florida State at Oklahoma – Is it just me or did Oklahoma look kinda pathetic in its’ win over Utah State? Hopefully Stoops has learned his lesson and the offense spends the entire game handing the ball off to DeMarco Murray. Landry Jones looked more like Tom Landry out there at QB…all he needed was a funny hat. Florida State is a fairly decent team who managed to crush Samford while still looking average. This could be an interesting game but Murray is the odds changer
Winner – Oklahoma
McNeese State at Missouri – Is Illinois that good or is Missouri just bad this year? Well, since it is Illinois we’re talking about here, I have to go with Missouri being bad. Missouri appears to have no running game yet so it all falls on Gabbert. Luckily they rebound from the Illinois game with a scrimmage against that football juggernaut McNeese State who pulled off a close victory against Lamar…the school, not the dog that used to star in the Quick Trip commercials (though the dog is better known). Though a couple of teams fell early to FBS teams, Missouri should be able to avoid this embarrassment…this week anyway.
Winner – Missouri
Wyoming at Texas – Wyoming has the distinction of being the very last team listed alphabetically in any listing of BCS football teams. They also have the distinction of having been real good a couple of times in the past. They also have a QB named Austyn who doesn’t suck and who actually changed the spelling of his name so he would not be mistaken for another QB named Austin who does suck. But…regardless, the Wyoming running game sucks along with their defense and it’s hard to get a passing game going when you have to loft the ball over all the inflated Texas egos. The game should be decided pretty early
Winner – Texas
Buffalo at Baylor – Baylor crushed Sam Houston State while Buffalo crushed Rhode Island…which is an actual state that is smaller than the campus of Sam Houston State. All of this means…who cares? Where, exactly do the states of Rhode Island and Sam Houston actually rank in the big scheme of things? Or Buffalo for that matter? Who puts these schedules together anyway. A Buffalo is a large, grass eating mammal while a Baylor is something you use to gather up hay into squares so you can feed it to Buffalos. Geez…even the very premise of this game has me talking gibberish.
Winner – Baylor
Louisiana Tech at Texas A&M – Louisiana Tech has the distinction of being one of only four BCS schools that has “Tech” in it’s name. It also has the distinction of being the only one of four schools that has “Tech” in it’s name that truly sucks at the game of football. Texas A&M continues to make its’ bid to join the SEC on the field as they crush football powerhouses such as Stephen F Austin, Florida International and, yes, Louisiana Tech as they strive to be the next Kansas.
Winner – Texas A&M
Troy at Oklahoma State – First of all, I am starting a petition to rename the remove “Boone” from the Oklahoma State football stadium and rename it “Nose” in order to more represent the team’s fan base. That being said, Kendall Hunter is a great running back while Brandon Weeden should transfer to Colorado where his name would be more representative of the fan base. This should be a fairly easy win for OK State as the rumor going around is that Troy is only playing for the big payoff so they can purchase a last name…Aikman is up for bid on e-bay
Winner – Oklahoma State
Missouri State at Kansas State – Kansas State is the second team that ruined my prediction record to start the year. Fortunately, I hated them anyway so this does not count against my overall results. While Nebraska was crushing Western Kentucky, Missouri State was pounding Eastern Kentucky which only goes to prove that it sucks to live in Kentucky if you ever want to win a football game. Other than that…meh. This game should prove the non-conference games against little schools are a great time to beef up your stats.
Winner – Kansas State
New Mexico at Texas Tech – Ah New Mexico…crushed by Oregon by 72 points last week…destined to be crushed by Texas Tech this week and then by Utah the week after that. Has a BCS football team ever gone through a season without scoring an offensive touch down? New Mexico may be the first. Texas Tech won against a pretty decent SMU squad (though SMU was handicapped by having June Jones as their coach) and should easily obliterate their neighbor to the west as New Mexico is kind of like the 2010 version of Poland between Texas Tech’s Germany and Arizona’s Russia.
Winner – Texas Tech
There you have it…the winners for week two. On another note, Boz is playing Jr. High football this year. With 85 kids out, they divide the teams into A (the good players) B (average players) and C (New Mexico) squads. They were going to name players to different teams this week so I asked him before school where he though he would end up. He says…
”Well, I don’t really think I’ll be on the A squad cuz those kids are all so gung-ho football and they are kind of jerks. I also think I’d like to be something besides Center for a change because I’ve always been Center and I’d like to try something else for a change”
Last night when I got home from work I asked him what team he ended up on and he says to me in a disgusted voice…
“A team Center….”
