I say Callahan should hire formerfan, with his positive attitude and great insight recruits would be knocking down the doors to come play at Nebraska.
:sarcasm
... later that night at a prospective husker's house, coach FORMERFAN tries to close the deal with young Jimmy Runningback Jr. and his father Jimmy Runningback Sr.
father:
"well, coach... uh... formerfan?... it sound like Cornhuskers have quite a program. it's also sounds a good school where my boy can get a good edjumacation."
jimmy:
"yah! edjumacation! i play futball gud!"
formerfan:
"you sure do, jimmy. you sure do."
father:
"so, what can you tell us about coach callahan?"
***FORMERFAN begins to shake uncontrolably***
father:
"uh... coach..?"
formerfan:
"BILLY CALLAHAN IS THE DEVIL!!!! HE IS A BLACK-HEARTED FIEND WHO SHAT UPON HUSKER TRADITION!!! HE IS EVIL INCARNATE!!!"
father:
"coach..? are you okay?"
formerfan:
"I'VE SEEN THE EVIL THAT BILLY C. DOES! THE OTHER NIGHT, I SAW IN A GRAVEYARD! HE HAD DUG-UP BOB DEVANEY'S BODY.
jimmy:
"daddy! i'ma scared of the bad man..!"
father:
"hush, boy! now see here, coach formerfan: that is the worst close i've ever seen! why would the University of Nebraska send someone one like you to recruit my boy?"
formerfan:
"... uh... that is... "
***knock on the door, it's COACH BLAKE***
coach blake:
"mr. runningback, i spoke with your wife and she said that..."
***spots FORMERFAN***
coach blake:
"you again!"
formerfan:
"curses! foiled again!"
***FORMERFAN throw a chair at a window to breakout the glass and promptly jumps out of the house. he runs away, bouncing back and fourth while laughing like daffy duck!***
coach blake:
"man, that's like the third time this week that's happened..!"
