Roxy15
All-Conference
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.
The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.”
The second woman responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my bad guy bleached!”
“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”
Tyrone asked his work buddy Robert one morning, Man,why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?
Robert replied,That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.
That's easy, Robert said. I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it! It goes like this:
Blond hair, blond hair,
eyes so blue...
I love waking up
and making love to you!
Tyrone amazed said, Man, you are so dang sentimental an' sh#t..
But he decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking up a poem for his wife.
The next day Tyrone showed up to work all beat to hell..... bruised eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works. Robert asked, Man, what happened to you?
Tyrone said, "I don't know, man. I went home and tried your advice, that's all. I just told her a poem..Well, what poem did you tell her? Tyrone told him:
Black hair, Black hair, eyes like a frog..
If I could roll your fat a$$ over,
I'd do you like a dog!
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
Cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
And begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
The first woman said, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job.”
The second woman responded, “Oh, that’s nothing. I’m thinking of having my bad guy bleached!”
“Whoa,” replied the first woman. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde!”
Tyrone asked his work buddy Robert one morning, Man,why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?
Robert replied,That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.
That's easy, Robert said. I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it! It goes like this:
Blond hair, blond hair,
eyes so blue...
I love waking up
and making love to you!
Tyrone amazed said, Man, you are so dang sentimental an' sh#t..
But he decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. So he spent the rest of the day thinking up a poem for his wife.
The next day Tyrone showed up to work all beat to hell..... bruised eyes, broken nose, fat lip, the works. Robert asked, Man, what happened to you?
Tyrone said, "I don't know, man. I went home and tried your advice, that's all. I just told her a poem..Well, what poem did you tell her? Tyrone told him:
Black hair, Black hair, eyes like a frog..
If I could roll your fat a$$ over,
I'd do you like a dog!
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
Cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
And begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.
