Halloween joke

HUSKER 37

HUSKER 37

All-American
Subject: Bedsheets

**Bed sheets ***

***An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the

last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

***Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the

latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed

with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

***In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the

bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

***A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He

started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get

the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled

pile at his feet.

***As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the

sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter),

and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the

heck is going on here?'

***The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the sh#t

out of a ghost.'

***Happy Halloween*** *

 
Sorry..My old Girlfriend emailed this one to me also.

Subject: For the big kids

Nursery Rhymes for Big Kids

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bas tard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you dumb A55"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses,

And all the king's men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

 
HUSKER 37 said:
Subject: Bedsheets

**Bed sheets ***

***An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the

last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

***Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the

latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed

with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

***In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the

bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

***A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He

started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get

the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled

pile at his feet.

***As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the

sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter),

and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the

heck is going on here?'

***The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the sh#t

out of a ghost.'

***Happy Halloween*** *
Click to expand...
:laughpound :clap

 
HUSKER 37 said:
Sorry..My old Girlfriend emailed this one to me also.

Subject: For the big kids

Nursery Rhymes for Big Kids

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bas tard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you dumb A55"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king's horses,

And all the king's men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
Click to expand...
Brings to mind Andrew Dice Clay

 
HUSKER 37 said:
Subject: Bedsheets

**Bed sheets ***

***An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the

last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

***Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the

latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed

with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

***In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the

bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

***A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He

started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get

the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled

pile at his feet.

***As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the

sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter),

and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the

heck is going on here?'

***The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the sh#t

out of a ghost.'

***Happy Halloween*** *
Click to expand...
very funny!

 
Today's email.. :clap

mushroomwoodvs3.jpg


peterson1callahanhe9.jpg


 
Last edited by a moderator:
If there was a search function on this board, I'd look for a thread that mentioned

"Houston Nutt".

Found this picture on a gatorboard.

HoustonNutt.jpg


 
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