Eric the Red
Team HuskerBoard
HOWDY Y'ALL FROM ARKANSAS
A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel? When you call
the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk
replies, "Go ahead."
How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas
to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? Documentaries.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I- 40 and says to the
driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas Lottery? The winner gets
$3.00 a year for a million years.
The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert' near took
out the whole trailer park. The governor's library was a total loss
too. Both books poof up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring
one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Arkansas. When a couple gets
divorced, they are STILL cousins.
A guy walked into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide. The
bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are
ya?" "No", replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania". The bartender looks
at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania? "I'm a
taxidermist", said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered now,
asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man says, "I mount
animals". The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's
okay boys, he's one of us!"
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Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite
case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached
them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England.
The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm
and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he
won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the woman's blonde hair and the horse's a$$. I was able to put them
together and now she's a senator from New York.
A guy from Arkansas passed away and left his entire estate to his
beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel? When you call
the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk
replies, "Go ahead."
How can you tell if an Arkansas redneck is married? There's dried
tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas
to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Arkansas? Documentaries.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup on I- 40 and says to the
driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas Lottery? The winner gets
$3.00 a year for a million years.
The governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down! Yep. Pert' near took
out the whole trailer park. The governor's library was a total loss
too. Both books poof up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring
one of them.
A new law was recently passed in Arkansas. When a couple gets
divorced, they are STILL cousins.
A guy walked into a bar in Arkansas and orders a mudslide. The
bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are
ya?" "No", replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania". The bartender looks
at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania? "I'm a
taxidermist", said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered now,
asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man says, "I mount
animals". The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar..."It's
okay boys, he's one of us!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.
One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite
case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached
them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England.
The second surgeon said. "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm
and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he
won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the woman's blonde hair and the horse's a$$. I was able to put them
together and now she's a senator from New York.
