Roxy
Starter
The IRS decides to
audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was
not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor
said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time
employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not
sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can
prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'
The auditor
thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet
you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a
moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites
it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
t housand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'
Now the auditor can
tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his
dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
looks carefully and
decides there's no
way this old guy could possibly
manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the
desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make
the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much
urinates all over the au ditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy,
realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But
Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you
okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning,
when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he
could come in here and pee all over your desk and
that you'd be happy about
it!'
audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was
not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor
said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time
employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not
sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can
prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'
The auditor
thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet
you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a
moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites
it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two
t housand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'
Now the auditor can
tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his
dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
looks carefully and
decides there's no
way this old guy could possibly
manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the
desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make
the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much
urinates all over the au ditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy,
realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But
Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you
okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning,
when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five
thousand dollars that he
could come in here and pee all over your desk and
that you'd be happy about
it!'
