Near as I can tell, this was not written in jest

knapplc

International Man of Mystery
I don't make a practice of reading the UNL Daily Nebraskan's Opinion page, but this was linked in something else I was reading and I checked it out. It did not disappoint.

SIMON: UNL should have programs to make out-of-state students' transitions easier
Let’s get something straight: Nobody outside of the state of Nebraska likes Ndamukong Suh. That crowd on TV’s not “Suh-ing”; it’s booing.

And that drink you mix with ice cream to make floats? Root beer, not rut.

I think it’s easy for people in the Midwest to just assume their perspectives are “the norm” and shouldn’t be questioned. Moving from Illinois to Nebraska wasn’t supposed to be a culture shock — we’re in the same time zone, for crying out loud. But even an eight-hour move can feel like light years when you can’t understand the people living around you.

When I picked my initial major, animal science, I thought it was just a weird name for zoology. So my introductory classmates were utterly confused as to why I was horrified at the idea of a field trip to a feed-lot (this was a legitimate suggestion that a majority agreed upon for a “bonding” experience). I didn’t even know there were different cows for milking and meat.
 
To be fair, she makes a decent number of good points. I just don't see the point of writing an article for the student newspaper on the topic.

 
Wow....

That's a great tactic. You want something to change to help out of state students (admirable idea)

So....let's do that by insulting 80-90% of everyone reading your article before you get to your point.

I want everyone who goes to my alma mater to absolutely love it, get a great education and leave wishing they could spend one more year here. However, I am realistic enough to realize that it just isn't the right place for some people. Maybe this is one of those people.

This right here is a major indication that the mental capacity of the author should be in question.

When I picked my initial major, animal science, I thought it was just a weird name for zoology. So my introductory classmates were utterly confused as to why I was horrified at the idea of a field trip to a feed-lot (this was a legitimate suggestion that a majority agreed upon for a “bonding” experience). I didn’t even know there were different cows for milking and meat.
So, you pick a major, move two states away and you have absolutely no clue what your major really is? As an ex-Animal Science major I find this particularly funny.

I would love to know where in Illinois she is from. I am sure most people in that state (other than the Chicago area) would just love her view of rural areas and the people there.

 
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Wow....

That's a great tactic. You want something to change to help out of state students (admirable idea)

So....let's do that by insulting 80-90% of everyone reading your article before you get to your point.

I want everyone who goes to my alma mater to absolutely love it, get a great education and leave wishing they could spend one more year here. However, I am realistic enough to realize that it just isn't the right place for some people. Maybe this is one of those people.

This right here is a major indication that the mental capacity of the author should be in question.

When I picked my initial major, animal science, I thought it was just a weird name for zoology. So my introductory classmates were utterly confused as to why I was horrified at the idea of a field trip to a feed-lot (this was a legitimate suggestion that a majority agreed upon for a “bonding” experience). I didn’t even know there were different cows for milking and meat.
So, you pick a major, move two states away and you have absolutely no clue what your major really is? As an ex-Animal Science major I find this particularly funny.

I would love to know where in Illinois she is from. I am sure most people in that state (other than the Chicago area) would just love her view of rural areas and the people there.
I would say she is obviously from the suburbs of Chicago if she had no idea that milk and meat come from two different types of cattle. Outside of Chicago, and the surrounding suburbs, Illinois is alot like Nebraska imo.

 
This right here is a major indication that the mental capacity of the author should be in question.

When I picked my initial major, animal science, I thought it was just a weird name for zoology. So my introductory classmates were utterly confused as to why I was horrified at the idea of a field trip to a feed-lot (this was a legitimate suggestion that a majority agreed upon for a “bonding” experience). I didn’t even know there were different cows for milking and meat.
So, you pick a major, move two states away and you have absolutely no clue what your major really is? As an ex-Animal Science major I find this particularly funny.

I would love to know where in Illinois she is from. I am sure most people in that state (other than the Chicago area) would just love her view of rural areas and the people there.
This. Obviously she had no clue about what her chosen major involved. Not sure why anyone would expect any topic she writes about to be any different.

 
Oh, and Runzas? Guys, they're just expensive Hot Pockets.
Yeah, but THEY'RE BETTER THAN HOT POCKETS.
Which is better, Runza or Pasty?

Edit: It's only fair to add Calzone, Pirozhki and Empanada to the discussion.

Well....to tell you the truth, in my younger years I would have taken pasties over a Runza. I was particularly partial to the tassel pasties. But....now days, I should probably opt for the Runza.

 
Calzones > Empanada > Pirogi > Runza > Hot Pockets

If people are talking about the hot pockets that you buy in the frozen food isle at the grocery store.....Good Lord....that isn't even food. There is no way that they should even be included in this list.

 
Calzones > Empanada > Pirogi > Runza > Hot Pockets

If people are talking about the hot pockets that you buy in the frozen food isle at the grocery store.....Good Lord....that isn't even food. There is no way that they should even be included in this list.
I did put them in last for a reason, don't get me wrong I used to get down on some ham and cheese ones though.

 
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