Post your best legit-sounding but utterly BS coaching rumor

Blackshirts007 said:
I want Tim Riggins #33 #fridaynightlights #sexiestmanalive #blackshirts007girlfriend #HeNeedsToGetOffHuskerboardALLDay
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I went to Norris/SE bball game tonight... and no sh*t Riggins truck was parked there... he jacked it up just a bit and put nice tires on it.... im sure he was looking for a high schoolers mom who had a trailer in the back yard to rent...

 
Hey guys, I have some real info for you. I've been doing a lot of research lately on football schemes, and I decided to get into contact with some old coaches who ran some of these schemes to get personal info and old play books to put together my own playbook.

Anyway, after going to the coaching clinic at DONU last March and getting some one on one time with Bo and Beck (it was then I realized they needed to be fired) they got me in contact with some of their friends from their former jobs. One of the coaches Bo got me in contact with was Pete Carroll, who was head coach of the Patriots when Bo worked there as DB coach from 1997-99. Pete is a great guy, inspiring and really knowledgeable on scheme. I finally got to meet with Coach Carroll in person when I was in Seattle on business when he invited me to sit in one of the private boxes for the Nov 2nd win vs the Raiders. I had a great time, and got to speak with him about schemes the following day. During that conversation, I mentioned I was a Nebraska fan, and he mentioned he had been in touch with both Bo and Eichorst about the coaching situation. Bo had called him for advise because he (Bo) didn't feel like he was going to make it as head coach. After giving Bo some advice, Carroll called Eichorst about the potential job opening as HC at DONU. Coach Carroll told me he felt that the NFL was too restrictive, that there was too much criticism for coaches who wanted to run new or unconventional schemes, even if they were proving successfull. Also, fans of college teams were less fickle than NFL fans (though not by much at some places...) I don't know for sure if he is "the guy" but there is a chance...

I've tried to get in touch with him, but he hasn't been taking phone calls. Wish I could confirm it for you guys.

 
I have a pet bird with a camera and wireless microphone attached somewhere in the ceiling at the AD's office at Nebraska. Been hearing conversations about resurrecting Bob Devaney with a highly complicated stem cell operation funded by boosters.

I also heard they are extracting and duplicating Tommy Frazier's DNA and myelin sheath in his brain and implanting it into Tommy Armstrong's.

They are also growing a Tom Osborne Jr. with stem cells in the lab as we speak and he will be the next Offensive coordinator under the newly resurrected Devaney.

With that being said, our defensive coordinator will remain John Paupachis with a $500,000 salary raise.

This Eichorst guy is losing his mind.

 
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I've seen the light. We've had the clues all along but nobody til now has put the pieces together. We were said to have a splash hire, right?

HC- Aquaman

OC- Poseidon

DC- Mr Freeze (Part-time coach for much obvs)

Jake Waters is transerring and will be Nebraska's next Heisman winner, with Bobby Boucher giving us the fire we need on defense.

 
Just got off the phone with one of my sources. For his safety I can not give you his name, but I can tell you that he is VERY close to the program, actually I'll go ahead and say he's a coach on the staff.

We all know Bo is a trickster, well I've been told he is pulling the biggest prank yet, and Shawn is in on it. They thought it would be funny to give the fans what they want and "fire" Pelini to get everyone stirred up. A couple recruits would "decommit" to make it look real and the entire state of NE would be in chaos. Right now the university is sitting back laughing at all the rumors, I've even been told they have hired guys like Tressel to fly into Lincoln and shop at HY Vee, so fans would see him and start rumors. It's f'ing pathetic that the university is having a laugh at our expense!!!

Im told that they won't announce anything and leave us in suspense for the next month only to run Bo out on the field just before game time for the bowl game and shock everyone (he also said that Bo will be wearing a shirt that says #9winsisgoodenough, but I have a hard time believing that) The players have no idea and they thought this would be a good time to "weed out" players that weren't committed to the program. Take it FWIW, like I said it come from a coach on the staff (I will NOT say his name so don't ask)

 
This has exceeded my hopes so far. You guys are good! The bar has already been set pretty high, so if you're still getting in on this, you'd better bring your "A" game.

I'll let this run through Wednesday, December 3rd. I'll announce the winner on Thursday. If the University makes an announcement before then (highly doubtful) the contest stops at the time of their announcement.

 
knapplc said:
This has exceeded my hopes so far. You guys are good! The bar has already been set pretty high, so if you're still getting in on this, you'd better bring your "A" game.

I'll let this run through Wednesday, December 3rd. I'll announce the winner on Thursday. If the University makes an announcement before then (highly doubtful) the contest stops at the time of their announcement.
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Oops I posted in the wrong thread, my bad.

 
Bo was close but didn't qute get it done. Slimy Shawn put out a silent feeler saying he needed a little better Bo.

Bill Cowher responed "I have a better jaw, better scowl, more hardnosed, and instead of swinging a hat at a ref, I will slap a copy of a printed formation right in his front pocket."

We would like to introduce Bill Cowher as the next coach at Nebraska.

cowher.jpg

 
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If I were Bill Cowher, I would buy a ticket to Lincoln and just walk around a shopping mall, have lunch in a restaurant and take a stroll down O street - just to screw with people.

 
Jimmy Johnson, after getting in the best shape of his life to have a go at CBS's Survivor, felt the urge to get back to coaching kids again. He met Shawn Eichorst in a back room poker game in Miami, people think Eichorst is behind the scenes because he doesn't like the spotlight, but the truth is he is one heck of a poker player. Fast forward and Shawn needs a splash hire, Jimmy Johnson decides he is going to give the next 5 years of his life to bringing Nebraska back to glory.

Jimmy's first call is to Butch Davis, his former protege and DC at Dallas as his DC at Nebraska. They call Norv Turner who declined to come back to college as an OC, but recommended LSU OC Cam Cameron who accepted the position.

 
After Eichorst deliberates several months, keeping the entire HuskerNation in suspense.

A Washington press conference is called, during which President Obama issues an executive order to extract DNA samples from Knute Rockne, Vince Lombardi,

George Halas, Bob Devaney, Woody Hayes, Bear Bryant, Paul Brown, Weeb Eubank, George Allen and Lou Holtz (oops, just wishing) and supply them to University of Nebraska Medical Center, to be combined and provide a hybrid clone to be installed as the next and final Head Football coach.

The President defends his decision by saying "You've had your chance to reach a conclusive solution but have refused, so therefore I execute this order."

Within hours all hell breaks loose, from all sides.

 
After conquering county music and tiring of the pop music scene, Taylor Swift decides to branch out, submits a resume to Eichorst and is hired immediately.

 
knapplc said:
This has exceeded my hopes so far. You guys are good! The bar has already been set pretty high, so if you're still getting in on this, you'd better bring your "A" game.

I'll let this run through Wednesday, December 3rd. I'll announce the winner on Thursday. If the University makes an announcement before then (highly doubtful) the contest stops at the time of their announcement.
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Bump.

 
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