I read on ABCNews.com where a Colorado elementary school banned tag from its playgrounds. The reasoning (which should be obvious) was that it was cruel to make students be "it" if they don't want to be "it," and that the game promoted chasing and unnecessary physical contact. Running is still allowed on the playground, as long as there is no chasing involved.
Well, I say it's about time somebody came to their senses! This barbaric game has been around for centuries, and it's about time that we put a stop to it. While we're at it, I have a bone to pick with a couple of other games as well (for the record, I'm against the phrase "bone to pick" as I find it unnecessarily violent).
Duck Duck Goose
This game needs to go. It promotes name-calling and the aforementioned chasing. Oh, and unnecessary physical contact, to the head, no less. I'm sure I don't need to tell you the trauma of being called "goose" in front of all you peers, then being forced to stand and chase the name caller around a circle of children sitting Indian Style. This teaches retribution. I've been in therapy for 12 years, and I think duck, duck, goose is at the root of it. I think a sensible alternative would be duck, duck, duck, where the children sit in a circle as one child walks around, shaking hands with the other children saying either "duck" or "peace be with you" to all of them. At the end, all students would stand, hold hands, and cavort around in a circle singing Kum Ba Ya.
Saying Indian Style
This is offensive to Native Americans. I suggest Criss Cross Applesauce, or They Were Here First Sitting.
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
Have we learned nothing from Michael Vick? This game promotes senseless violence toward tail-less animals. 100% of the donkeys who live in the Hundred Acre Wood agree with me on this. Plus, blindfolding children and giving them sharp objects should be grounds for losing custody of your children. I suggest "Padding the Donkey" where all children are given cotton balls which they then put on the ground to make sitting for the afflicted donkey more comfortable. I'm also against pinatas of any kind.
Hide and Seek
This game promotes dishonesty, covert actions, and engenders a feeling of hopelessness for kids as they experience the dissatisfaction of not being able to find what they're looking for. It also promotes high speed chases and running from authority. I suggest Hug and Seek, where the children hug each other and then seek someone else to hug.
Hugging
This is unnecessarily physical, and borderline sexual harassment. I suggest walking up to the person you wish to hug and telling them "I'm hugging you now." The person would then respond with "I accept your affirmation" and may choose to "hug" the person back if they feel comfortable with it.
Tether Ball
Because this game is just dumb.
Swings
Placing people at the end of chains and physically assaulting them and causing them to swing back and forth is obviously an ugly reminder of a horrible period in US History when Lynching was in vogue. I think the sooner that we can teach our kids to just sit and do nothing until the world starts to revolve around them, the better.
Sincerely,
The Modern Day Parent.
Well, I say it's about time somebody came to their senses! This barbaric game has been around for centuries, and it's about time that we put a stop to it. While we're at it, I have a bone to pick with a couple of other games as well (for the record, I'm against the phrase "bone to pick" as I find it unnecessarily violent).
Duck Duck Goose
This game needs to go. It promotes name-calling and the aforementioned chasing. Oh, and unnecessary physical contact, to the head, no less. I'm sure I don't need to tell you the trauma of being called "goose" in front of all you peers, then being forced to stand and chase the name caller around a circle of children sitting Indian Style. This teaches retribution. I've been in therapy for 12 years, and I think duck, duck, goose is at the root of it. I think a sensible alternative would be duck, duck, duck, where the children sit in a circle as one child walks around, shaking hands with the other children saying either "duck" or "peace be with you" to all of them. At the end, all students would stand, hold hands, and cavort around in a circle singing Kum Ba Ya.
Saying Indian Style
This is offensive to Native Americans. I suggest Criss Cross Applesauce, or They Were Here First Sitting.
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
Have we learned nothing from Michael Vick? This game promotes senseless violence toward tail-less animals. 100% of the donkeys who live in the Hundred Acre Wood agree with me on this. Plus, blindfolding children and giving them sharp objects should be grounds for losing custody of your children. I suggest "Padding the Donkey" where all children are given cotton balls which they then put on the ground to make sitting for the afflicted donkey more comfortable. I'm also against pinatas of any kind.
Hide and Seek
This game promotes dishonesty, covert actions, and engenders a feeling of hopelessness for kids as they experience the dissatisfaction of not being able to find what they're looking for. It also promotes high speed chases and running from authority. I suggest Hug and Seek, where the children hug each other and then seek someone else to hug.
Hugging
This is unnecessarily physical, and borderline sexual harassment. I suggest walking up to the person you wish to hug and telling them "I'm hugging you now." The person would then respond with "I accept your affirmation" and may choose to "hug" the person back if they feel comfortable with it.
Tether Ball
Because this game is just dumb.
Swings
Placing people at the end of chains and physically assaulting them and causing them to swing back and forth is obviously an ugly reminder of a horrible period in US History when Lynching was in vogue. I think the sooner that we can teach our kids to just sit and do nothing until the world starts to revolve around them, the better.
Sincerely,
The Modern Day Parent.
