huskernumerouno
All-American
The Ant and the Grasshopper
>
> OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
> long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
>
> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
> plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>
> The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself
>
> ************************************************************
>
> MODERN VERSION:
>
> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
> his
> house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
> Th e grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
> plays the summer away.
>
> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
> while others are cold and starving
>
> CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
> shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
> home
> with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
> contrast.
>
> How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
> grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>
> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
> cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
>
> Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
> where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."
> Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
> grasshopper's sake.
>
> Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
> that
> the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
> call
> for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
>
> Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
> retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
> failing
> to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left
> to
> pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government
>
> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
> of
> federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single -
> parent
> welfare recipients.
>
> The ant loses the case.
>
> The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
> of
> the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
> happens
> to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
> maintain it.
>
> The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in
> a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
> by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
>
>
>
> If you put the Federal Government in charge of the Saraha Desert, in 5 > years there would be a shortage of sand! Milton Friedman, Nobel > Economist
>
>
>
>
> OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
> long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
>
> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
> plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>
> The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself
>
> ************************************************************
>
> MODERN VERSION:
>
> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
> his
> house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
> Th e grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
> plays the summer away.
>
> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
> while others are cold and starving
>
> CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
> shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
> home
> with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
> contrast.
>
> How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
> grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>
> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
> cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
>
> Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
> where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."
> Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
> grasshopper's sake.
>
> Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
> that
> the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
> call
> for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
>
> Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
> retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
> failing
> to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left
> to
> pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government
>
> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel
> of
> federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single -
> parent
> welfare recipients.
>
> The ant loses the case.
>
> The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits
> of
> the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
> happens
> to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
> maintain it.
>
> The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in
> a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
> by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
>
>
>
> If you put the Federal Government in charge of the Saraha Desert, in 5 > years there would be a shortage of sand! Milton Friedman, Nobel > Economist
>
>
>