THE HORMONE WARNING:

E

Eric the Red

Team HuskerBoard
THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a

man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in

the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy MidSection

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends, those who might need a

good laugh or men who need a warning.

 
From a "hormonal friend".... :wub: Once when I told my husband I just wish he'd have to go through "it" one time........he answered me, "I have!"

Men are like laxatives.........they irritate the sh#t out of you.

Men are like weather....nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like blenders.......you need one, but you're not sure why.

Men are like chocolate.......Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right

for your hips.

Men are like commercials......you can't believe a word they say.

Men are like department stores..........their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like government bonds........they take sooooo long to mature.

Men are like popcorn.........they only satisfy you for a little while.

Men are like lava lamps........fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like parking spots........all the good ones are taken. The rest

are handicapped.

This is for all our remarkable women, as well as any understanding, good natured, fun guys!

 
***SNIP***
Men are like laxatives.........they irritate the sh#t out of you.

Men are like weather....nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like blenders.......you need one, but you're not sure why.

Men are like chocolate.......Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right

for your hips.

Men are like commercials......you can't believe a word they say.

Men are like department stores..........their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like government bonds........they take sooooo long to mature.

Men are like popcorn.........they only satisfy you for a little while.

Men are like lava lamps........fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like parking spots........all the good ones are taken. The rest

are handicapped.

***SNIP***
Click to expand...
Too bad we men rule the world!!!!

BAWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

 
Men rule what??? :rollin

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

Now men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the sh#t out of them until they turn into something

acceptable to have dinner with.

 
Oh now! I have sooo many more men bashing jokes but I dont think they are too appropriate for THIS post...maybe the woodshed!?!?

 
Oh now! I have sooo many more men bashing jokes but I dont think they are too appropriate for THIS post...maybe the woodshed!?!?
Click to expand...
Woodshed, this forum - let 'em rip!

And if you have any good lawyer jokes - I love those!

 
Why does a woman smile when she is walking down the isle??

She knows it is the last blow job she ever has to give.

 
Why does a woman smile when she is walking down the isle??
She knows it is the last blow job she ever has to give.
Click to expand...
very good, I liked that one.

What does a woman do after she leaves the "Center for Abused Women"?

the dishes if she knows what is good for her!!!

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top