Tornado warning in Dallas area

Bo-Nose

Bo-Nose

Five-Star Recruit
There was a tornado warning in the Dallas Ft. Worth area the other day.

Officials herded evacuees into the Dallas Cowboys stadium for shelter.

According to an officer "There will be no chance of Touchdown in this stadium".

What do you call 47 millionares huddled around the TV watching the Super Bowl?

The Dallas Cowboys.

How do you keep the Dallas Cowboys out of your front yard?

Erect a goal post.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Televangelists have in common?

They can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Possums have in common?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?

An old fart.

What is the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill?

You can get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl?

Nobody remembers.

((I run out of football jokes at this point. Please share some!)) :corndance

 
one i see you left out is the old standby of "...mysterious white powder found on the field..."

 
Three Texans, died and went to heaven. St. Peter was on break at the time so they were met at the pearly gates by Albert Einstein. As the first Texan approached Einstein asked him what his IQ was when he alive. The Texan replied "150." "Great! Then we can discuss my general theory of relativity attempts to develop a unified field theory" said Einstein.

When Einstein asked the second Texan what his IQ was, the Texan replied "130." "Fine," said Einstein, "Let's talk a bit about mathematics and philosophy as I show you around your new heavenly home."

As the third Texan approached, Einstein inquired about his IQ. "65" the fellow said. Punching him on the arm, Einstein replied, "Hey, How 'bout them Cowboys!"

 
Bubba had been attending UT-Austin for a dozen or so years, failing most of his classes. But he really wanted to graduate, so at the spring ceremony he approached the chancellor and asked if he would let him graduate. Some friends were in on the plan, and they all started shouting, "Let Bubba graduate!", and soon the whole crowd was yelling.

The chancellor thought about it, and wanting to please the crowd, said, "Well Bubba, I can't just give you a diploma. But I'll give you a one question test right here and now, and if you get it right, I'll graduate you."

Bubba eagerly nodded yes, and the crowd roared, then got silent as the chancellor asked, "What's 2 plus 2?"

Bubba thought long and hard, and finally, uncertainly answered, "Four?"

The crowd again yelled out in unison, this time saying "Give Bubba another chance!"

 
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