Truisms

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

Some people ask th1e secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Henny Youngman

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

James Holt McGavran

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.

 
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'Anonymous
This is the best one!!! :clap :clap :clap

 
:clap :clap

The next time I decide to get married I may just buy her a house and save the lawyer fees.

...T_O_B

:lol: :lol:

 
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These are all good. I have now decided to NEVER marry and just be a man whore for this life! I'm gonna go to Cali and be a porn star. Peace out!

 
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