Parenting question

BigRedBuster

BigRedBuster

International Man of Mystery
I have a question that I'm actually kind of laughing about.

My daughter is a senior this year and they start school tomorrow.
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(no, I'm not ready for this)

Anyway, she is a very responsible girl who absolutely never breaks rules. So....she calls me yesterday at work. She claims her friends are wanting to do a senior prank on the first day of school and she wants my permission to do it in case they get in trouble. REALLY??? She told me what the prank is and to me it doesn't sound like that big of a deal. BUT, we all know how school administrations work sometimes when they go overboard with punishment and she is in National Honor Society and sports and she doesn't want to do something that would screw that up.

So, as a parent, what do you say to a kid that CALLS you before they do something to get permission just in case they get in trouble?

Interested in your thoughts.

 
I'm not a parent and barely an adult myself, but I say let her make her own decision without you endorsing or forbidding it. I think kids need to be empowered to make decisions for themselves and if she gets in trouble for it, I mean so what? Even if there is an overreaction it's not something that will have any long-term bearing on her life either way.

 
I agree with Landlord. I made my fair share of dumb mistakes, but my parents let me make them.

As long as none of the following can happen in their prank:

Arrested, lost appendages, death

I would say she should make her own decisions on what to do.

BTW, kudos to her running it by you though. You have succeeded in raising a respectable young person in our society.

 
That's basically what I told her. I simply said that I'm fine with it but she has to live with whatever punishment the school decides.

Today she told me she isn't going because she doesn't want to start the year off that way. I actually wanted her to go. It feels odd as a parent but this girl needs to let her hair down a little more and this seemed pretty harmless. But, I' proud that she decided the way she did.

This girl has been so easy to raise. I'm going to miss her.

 
Cool story, BRB. Although you wouldn't have minded if she did this, it may have not been the best timing. Your actions show her that you will support her decisions, as long as she understands the circumstances involved.

I am sure it's nice to have a kid that has been so easy to raise. My kids are young (7 and 4), but my wife and I already know that our son (the 7 year old) will be a piece of cake to raise, while our daughter (the 4 year old) will be the one that will test our boundaries along the way.

 
You offer her two options.

1. Go ahead with the prank. It's a memory that she can share with her classmates the rest of their lives. In the grand scheme of things a slap on the wrist for a senior prank is insignificant compared to what some parents are dealing with . Also, make sure that nothing they do is illegal(property damage, trespassing, theft, etc).

2. Ask her when the prank is gonna happen. Offer to take her on a shopping spree instead while the prank is going down. Agree to a story about a sick family member to help her save face with her friends. Either way leave it up to her.

It sounds to me like she really wants to go with her friends. But it's a teachable moment for you as a parent. She needs to accept responsibility for her part and accept the ensuing punishment. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.

Edit- Nevermind, I replied to your opening post without seeing you already have a conclusion.

 
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RedRedJarvisRedwhine said:
You offer her two options.

1. Go ahead with the prank. It's a memory that she can share with her classmates the rest of their lives. In the grand scheme of things a slap on the wrist for a senior prank is insignificant compared to what some parents are dealing with . Also, make sure that nothing they do is illegal(property damage, trespassing, theft, etc).

2. Ask her when the prank is gonna happen. Offer to take her on a shopping spree instead while the prank is going down. Agree to a story about a sick family member to help her save face with her friends. Either way leave it up to her.

It sounds to me like she really wants to go with her friends. But it's a teachable moment for you as a parent. She needs to accept responsibility for her part and accept the ensuing punishment. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
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You feeling OK, Jarvis? That was a good post.

 
If I had a daughter she'd be wearing a chastity belt and not allowed outdoors until she was 22. Luckily for me I have only boys.

 
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