Are you a conservative, liberal or a redneck?

H

Hawkeyehusker

Starter
Are you a Liberal, a Conservative, or a Redneck?

Here is a test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children. Suddenly, a thug with a huge knife comes

around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have

just seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

-----------------------------------------

Liberal's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of

his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does

this send to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to

wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away

while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a

happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a cup of coffee and try to come to a

consensus.

----------------------------------------------------

A Conservative's Answer:

BANG!

----------------------------------------------------

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....

(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ...

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips

or Hollow Points?"

Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"

Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"

 
I can fall either into the conservative or redneck category.

As soon as I saw Glock I was thinking of shooting. :woo

 
Liberal

The reason that the liberal probably got attacked is he actually took time to think about his options and the ramifications of those actions. He also probably took time to think about who his actions affected beyond his own self.

Conservative

The conservative shot the guy in the head. Seconds later the consevative got bludgeoned with a big-a$$ baseball bat from behind. As he lie on the ground facing the guy he shot in the head, he realized that the guy was trying to save him and his family.

Redneck

Unloaded into the charging guy many times. Then dug trough his wallet and found his home address. Went to the guys home and unloaded into his family and raped the guys dog. Then, the redneck went to the corner bar ate a 1/2 dozen hard-boiled eggs (the ones in the large shiny jar behind the bar). To celebrate his accomplishments, the redneck went down to the nearest tattoo parlor and got a very nice new tattoo of Jesus waving a confederate flag.

:corndance :thumbs :rollin :sarcasm

 
How did you know? :lol: ceptin' for the dog thing ain't into that kinda kinky stuff. It be a skers flag. :)

 
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