Had enough Purify chatter? This will help.....

T

TheCropDuster

Five-Star Recruit
The chief export of Matt Slauson is Pain.

Matt Slauson drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Matt Slauson can divide by zero.

When Matt Slauson talks, everybody listens. And dies.

Matt Slauson grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Matt Slauson smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Matt Slauson has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

Ladies and gentleman, Matt F'n Slauson

 
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didnt he want to dress up in a buffalo skin coat and head dress before the game last year? that would be one scary m-fer

 
those sound like FACTS to me...Chuck's facts! that can be applied to slausburger.

here's one: Slauson has the heart of a child...it's in a mr. T lunch box under his bed!

 
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My personal favorite...

"When Matt Slauson jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Matt Slauson."

 
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