Nine words women use
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of no thing)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
*Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
A ER nurse friend of mine sent that to me the other day and I had an epiphany about my first two marriages. :laughpound
Expanded..
1. “Fine”
This is the word women use at the end of any argument
when they feel they are right but can’t stand to hear
you argue any longer. It means that you should shut
up. (NEVER use “fine” to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. “Five minutes”
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your basketball game is going to last
before you take out the trash, so women feel that
it’s an even trade.
3. “Nothing”
“Nothing” means something and you should be on your
toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually
signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes”
and end with the word “Fine.”
4. “Go Ahead” (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it’s a dare! If you mistake it
for permission, the result will be that the woman will
get upset over “Nothing” and you’ll have a
“five-minute” discussion that will end with the word
“Fine.”
5. “Go Ahead” (normal eyebrows)
this is NOT permission, either. It means “I give up”
or “do what you want because I don’t care.” You will
get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes,
followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to
you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.
6. “Loud Sigh”
This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement very frequently misunderstood by men.
A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are a complete
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over “Nothing.”
7. “Soft Sigh”
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft
Sighs” are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. It means she is momentarily
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in
the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
8. “Oh”
This word — followed by any statement — is
trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I
talked to him about what you were doing last night.”
If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk,
to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is
“Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at
least two days. (”Oh” as the lead to a sentence
usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not
try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a
raised eyebrows “Go ahead”, sometimes followed by acts
so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write
about them.)
9. “That’s Okay”
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she
wants to think long and hard before decided what the
penalty will be for whatever you have done. “That’s
Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in
conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. Once
she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some
mighty big trouble.
10. “Please Do”
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is
giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for
what you have done. In other words, a chance to get
yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this
correctly, you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay.”
11. “Thanks”
The woman is thanking you. Don’t faint and don’t look
for hidden meaning. Just say “you’re welcome.”
12. “Thanks A Lot”
“Thanks A Lot” is dramatically different from
“Thanks.” A woman will say “Thanks A Lot” when she is
really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by
the “Loud Sigh.” This signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is
wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you
“Nothing.”
