killer cacti
All-Conference
That's just what they tell you. Actually it's because our medical staff doesn't want our players to catch swine flu off of the boogers that somehow end up on your players fingers...
Post your Missouri jokes here
- Thread starter Husker Runner
- Start date
Vince from ShamWOW
All-Conference
Huskerballz
Starter
That's obvious..
..See Furman, Nevada and Bowling Green this year...
...Mcneese St. and Miami (Ohio) next year...
...Western Illinois in 2011 and Southern Illinois the year after.
And that's just the teams scheduled, I'm sure we'll see a whole lot more of western east tennesee tech university of louisville kentucky on that schedule too.
That way you guys can barely beat them and continue to educate us all on how you've arrived because of your gaudy passing stats.
Note: I did say "Last time my Tigers played Mizzou." I can't help we don't play yall more.
First of all, shouldn't there be an apostrophe between the a and the l in ya'll? (see your post where you criticize the use of you"re)
second, The Clemson Tigers shouldn't be touching the Mizzou Tigers fingers thus leaving the boogers on our players hands. lol
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dizzturbedNUfan
Starter
:laughpound Somebody starts a Misery joke thread and we have Clemson, Iowa and Misery throwing punches at each other! :dunno :rollin
I love Huskerboard! I can't cheer for any of you, I like all three. :ahhhhhhhh
I love Huskerboard! I can't cheer for any of you, I like all three. :ahhhhhhhh
dizzturbedNUfan
Starter
Stupid Double!
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Vince from ShamWOW
All-Conference
Q: What do you call a Missouri player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q: What does the average University of Missouri student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: What's the difference between a Missouri fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
One day in an elementary school in Columbia, MO, a teacher asks her class if the Missouri Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Nebraska Cornhuskers "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Cornhusker fan, my mom is a Cornhusker fan, I guess that makes me a Cornhusker fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Missouri fan."
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Missouri Tiger fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
A: A thief!
Q: What does the average University of Missouri student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: What's the difference between a Missouri fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
One day in an elementary school in Columbia, MO, a teacher asks her class if the Missouri Tigers are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Nebraska Cornhuskers "
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Cornhusker fan, my mom is a Cornhusker fan, I guess that makes me a Cornhusker fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Missouri fan."
Q: What's the hardest thing about being a Missouri Tiger fan?
A: Telling your parents that you're gay.
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tattooedhusker
All-Conference
MizzouBob77
Three-Star Recruit
Tiger of the Corn
Five-Star Recruit
I don't know what's funnier....
Tom Osborne letting Lawrence 'hair-puller' Phillips play after a 'token suspension'....
Or that you still treat Osborne as a God.
Tom Osborne letting Lawrence 'hair-puller' Phillips play after a 'token suspension'....
Or that you still treat Osborne as a God.
Vince from ShamWOW
All-Conference
Vince from ShamWOW
All-Conference
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dizzturbedNUfan
Starter
Or that Misery beleives they are relevant in the National eye! :laughpound
A couple average seasons and somehow they think they have been a national powerhouse for 50 years.
But I guess if the 4th worst offense in College football ran up and down the field on us, I'd be a little scared too. Get your stabs in now, your day's are numbered.
cscott2win
Special Teams Player
Missouri is the only school who's homecoming King and Queen are brother and sister.
Whenever you find four mizzou fans huddled you'll find a fifth.
You know your from Missouri if......
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
Your house has 3 more tires than your 6 cars .
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Two Missourians meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"
Whenever you find four mizzou fans huddled you'll find a fifth.
You know your from Missouri if......
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
Your house has 3 more tires than your 6 cars .
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Two Missourians meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."
"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"
"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."
The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"
cscott2win
Special Teams Player
While we're at it....... What does a maggot and an Alabama fan have in common?
Both can live over 30 years on a dead bear!
Both can live over 30 years on a dead bear!