Post your Missouri jokes here
- Thread starter Husker Runner
- Start date
MizzouBob77
Three-Star Recruit
Yeah, I'm sure that's never the case in the tons of spot on the map towns that litter both of your states.
fro daddy
All-Conference
never been to anywhere in Nebraska besides the east have you. Visit almost anywhere in Ia outside of a major city and you will see it. Just think about council bluffs.
Caveman i KNOW you pay more attention than that. If not I will be more than happy to break a $20 for you..here are you two $5s. LOL
TuffTiger
Five-Star Recruit
Cy the Cyclone
Starter
What happens in Skidmore...Stays in Skidmore.
HuskerfaninOkieland
Heisman Trophy Winner
And forget those two memorable gems of Chase picking his nose on national tv and saying McCoy has a great a$$ on national tv??? Never.
moe
Five-Star Recruit
billdozer15
All-Conference
I find it comical that Missouri is the only state in the Union with a website completely dedicated to exposing its trailer trash. Go ahead take a look.
Missery Sucks
NoKoolAidForME
Starter
I’ve got a couple:
1) A teacher in a Columbia elementary classroom asked her students a question one day. She asked everyone who was a Tiger fan to raise their hand. Everyone in the room except one little boy raised his hand. The teacher said "young man, if you're not a Tiger fan, what are you?" The young man said "I'm a Nebraska Cornhusker fan!" The teacher then asked why. The young man replied "well, my dad is a Husker fan, my mom is a Husker fan, so I'm a Husker fan!"
The teacher then said, "Well, that is not an excuse to be a Husker fan!
If your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, would that make you a moron?"
The young man laughed and said to his teacher, "No, it would actually make me a Tiger fan!"
2) Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Colombia, MO?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin there.
3) Q: What does the average Missouri student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
4) Q: Why do graduates from Missouri hang their diplomas in their windshields?
A: Because then they can park in handicapped spaces.
5) Inside a Denny's on the outskirts of Columbia, two guys are standing at the urinal. The guy wearing Hometown colors finishes first, zips his fly and reaches for the door. The guy wearing Rival colors says, "At Misery Univers'tay wey-ah taught to wash when we finish at the lavat'ray."
The Hometown guy responds, "At Nebraska, they teach us not to piss on our hands."
6) “They Can Send Me to College But They Can't Make Me Think”
Missouri’s student body slogan
Said the Nebraska fan to the MU idiot.
In conversation:
Soooo, When's the Wizard Getting Back to You About That Brain?
At the work place:
Of Course I Don't Look As Busy As You; I Did It Right the First Time
1) A teacher in a Columbia elementary classroom asked her students a question one day. She asked everyone who was a Tiger fan to raise their hand. Everyone in the room except one little boy raised his hand. The teacher said "young man, if you're not a Tiger fan, what are you?" The young man said "I'm a Nebraska Cornhusker fan!" The teacher then asked why. The young man replied "well, my dad is a Husker fan, my mom is a Husker fan, so I'm a Husker fan!"
The teacher then said, "Well, that is not an excuse to be a Husker fan!
If your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, would that make you a moron?"
The young man laughed and said to his teacher, "No, it would actually make me a Tiger fan!"
2) Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Colombia, MO?
A: They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin there.
3) Q: What does the average Missouri student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
4) Q: Why do graduates from Missouri hang their diplomas in their windshields?
A: Because then they can park in handicapped spaces.
5) Inside a Denny's on the outskirts of Columbia, two guys are standing at the urinal. The guy wearing Hometown colors finishes first, zips his fly and reaches for the door. The guy wearing Rival colors says, "At Misery Univers'tay wey-ah taught to wash when we finish at the lavat'ray."
The Hometown guy responds, "At Nebraska, they teach us not to piss on our hands."
6) “They Can Send Me to College But They Can't Make Me Think”
Missouri’s student body slogan
Said the Nebraska fan to the MU idiot.
In conversation:
Soooo, When's the Wizard Getting Back to You About That Brain?
At the work place:
Of Course I Don't Look As Busy As You; I Did It Right the First Time
caveman99
All-American
Just pointing out that Missouri isn't as metropolitan as MizzouBob portrays. I grew up in SW IA, about an hour East of Council Bluffs. I like a lot of Missouri, St. Louis is one of my favorite cities, I just think there is a segment of the Missouri population that needs to take the boundary city blinders off and really look at what is in the middle. Some really really pretty country there and some really strange folks as well. Just like in parts of NE and IA. To try and call IA and NE more hickish than MO is a bit strange IMO.
killer cacti
All-Conference
Care to try that again in English?
Last edited by a moderator: