Mrstickball
Walk-on
Dear Nebraska,
I know your the new kid on the block. All bright eyed and bushy tailed, excited to play your awesome opening season in 2011. As an Ohio State fan, we're oh-so excited to come to Lincoln and give you a proper B10 welcome along with Wisconsin.
However, there is something that we need to discuss. Usually, Ohio State fans don't like to discuss their name, so I will not use their name. But they usually wear a blue and yellow uniform, and hail from a state known for popular motor vehicles, and murders than anything else.
Anyways, we care about this team dearly. We also care about who plays them every week, too. Its our hope that each game, they get destroyed like free ice cream at a Weight Watchers meeting.
This is where you come in, Nebraska. You champions of the corn. You fiend of the flyover states. Can you do your pals in the other division a favor?
Don't let them go to the championship game. Ever. It behooves you to ensure this. You know about our rivalry with them. We loathe the idea of playing them back-to-back. There's just no sense in it. Would it make sense for you to play Iowa two weeks in a row? At least if you play a CCG-bound team once in the regular season, you do not have to deal with them twice in a row. We don't have that luxury, given the statistical likelihood that the meatchickens will be one of the few teams capable of putting together a regular CCG team that has a cross-conference rival at the end of the year.
Say bad things about their grandma. Let your players carry shanks onto the field to deal with their players (not like their thugs aren't use to such a thing). Put tranquilizers in their Gatorade. Do whatever to help us out here. It will be better for you, better for us, better for the environment as mother earth breathes a sigh of relief that the meatchickens plays one less game a year (two if we're lucky and they don't go to a bowl).
In return for doing us this favor, we'll root for you when you play the meatchickens. You'll have millions of fans around the country and world join Husker Nation in fandom to beat the unmentionable team. We'll even root for you in your bowl games, too. Trust us, in a few years, you will despise the turd burglars as much or more than you hate the Oklahomo's. We just want to help you on your way.
Sincerely,
Your Ohio State friend in the other divison
I know your the new kid on the block. All bright eyed and bushy tailed, excited to play your awesome opening season in 2011. As an Ohio State fan, we're oh-so excited to come to Lincoln and give you a proper B10 welcome along with Wisconsin.
However, there is something that we need to discuss. Usually, Ohio State fans don't like to discuss their name, so I will not use their name. But they usually wear a blue and yellow uniform, and hail from a state known for popular motor vehicles, and murders than anything else.
Anyways, we care about this team dearly. We also care about who plays them every week, too. Its our hope that each game, they get destroyed like free ice cream at a Weight Watchers meeting.
This is where you come in, Nebraska. You champions of the corn. You fiend of the flyover states. Can you do your pals in the other division a favor?
Don't let them go to the championship game. Ever. It behooves you to ensure this. You know about our rivalry with them. We loathe the idea of playing them back-to-back. There's just no sense in it. Would it make sense for you to play Iowa two weeks in a row? At least if you play a CCG-bound team once in the regular season, you do not have to deal with them twice in a row. We don't have that luxury, given the statistical likelihood that the meatchickens will be one of the few teams capable of putting together a regular CCG team that has a cross-conference rival at the end of the year.
Say bad things about their grandma. Let your players carry shanks onto the field to deal with their players (not like their thugs aren't use to such a thing). Put tranquilizers in their Gatorade. Do whatever to help us out here. It will be better for you, better for us, better for the environment as mother earth breathes a sigh of relief that the meatchickens plays one less game a year (two if we're lucky and they don't go to a bowl).
In return for doing us this favor, we'll root for you when you play the meatchickens. You'll have millions of fans around the country and world join Husker Nation in fandom to beat the unmentionable team. We'll even root for you in your bowl games, too. Trust us, in a few years, you will despise the turd burglars as much or more than you hate the Oklahomo's. We just want to help you on your way.
Sincerely,
Your Ohio State friend in the other divison
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