MAYBE BROADCASTING IS EASIER THAN I THOUGHT
This week’s wacky and weird announcer quotes…
“Jeremiah Masoli has to play offense AND quarterback.” – Lou Holtz
“That is a little scary proposition with the pickles from Professor Picklestein.” – Beth Mowins
“A quarterback’s gotta be big and strong, good-looking, and smart.” – Bob Griese
“They’re smiling in Boise, Ohio.” – John Saunders
“First time in Cincinnati history that three Wildcats [had over 100 yards receiving] in one game.” – Rob Stone calling the Bearcats game
“I see those hips on the hands.” – Craig James
“Your brain is still stuck inside that helmet.” – Mike Patrick
“Jeannine, let’s check in with you. Alfonzo Dennard went out of the ballgame and he’s still out. Is he okay? – Ron Franklin
“Yeah, Ron. Actually no. Um, he has suffered a concussion…” Jeannine Edwards :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
“It’s Halloween weekend and Randy Shannon is in the middle of a nightmare.” – Bob Wischusen
“They slip Montel Williams out the backside.” – David Archer describing a completion to Montel Harris
“Alright Mike, Studio Update brought to you by, well…brought to you by me.” – Robert Flores
“4:45 on the game ****.” – Dave Neal on the South Carolina broadcast
“Here come the 2000 edition of the Nittany Lions.” – Brad Nessler as Penn State runs out of the tunnel
“Ricky Stanzi could have read War and Peace back there, he had so much time.” – Matt Millen
“I don’t know if I believe anything that comes out of Lane Kiffin’s mouth.” – Bob Griese
(On Chip Kelly’s love of the two-point conversion) “He’d go for four if they let him.” – Mike Patrick
“Helu continues to have just a ‘hellucious’ day.” – Ron Franklin
“The S on the helmet for ‘smart’ and for ‘stud’.” – Glenn Parker
“Nice chest move here in the game of chest.” – Andre Ware (Actually, Andre, the game is called chess.)
“There’s a clock in every quarterback’s hand that he has to understand, ‘I’ve got to get rid of the ball.’” – Herm Edwards
“We’re gonna play Howie Mandel here…is this ‘taunt’ or ‘no taunt’?” – Verne Lundquist
And a couple final thoughts…
Memo to Matt Millen: Please learn how to pronounce the name of Iowa’s head coach correctly. (It’s FAIR-ints, not fur-ENTZ)
Memo to Brent Musburger: From now on, make sure your broadcast actually HAS gone to commercial before you start critiquing the attendance to your partner. (Otherwise, we hear this: “We’ll be right back. [long pause] The stadium’s half empty.” – Brent Musburger
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