Words are worse than sticks and stones

[Landlord]

This middle-school girl uploaded a video a few weeks ago as her way of reaching out for help due to the bullying she receives at school. My heart goes out to her and other kids that suffer from the same things, I've been on both sides of the fence and know how much words can hurt.

 

[Apathy]

I wished that video was in HD lol

On a serious note I don't see anything wrong with this girl, she looks like a pretty girl. Back when I was in middle school, kids would call other kids names because they dressed weird, their clothes didn't meet the present dress style, they acted nerdy or were nerdy, talked funny, looked funny, etc but I dont' see anything wrong with this young girl.

Feel bad for the young lady, maybe next week we'll see her powerbombing her bully.

 

[HUSKER 37]

I really let a nasty PM from someone on here get to me..for several weeks.

Now it's part of my sig.

 

[okaive]

Maybe I am too old, but back when I was in high school, bullying went on and the kids still lived afterwords. Society is to stuck on emotions these days and political correctness.

She needs to stand-up for herself and not be self-conscious. She admits to having 3 or 4 friends. Why not embrace them and ignore the rest? I had maybe 2 friends a year and always someone different. It's what you make out of your life and not allow others to make it for you. Step up and take control.

If she cannot handle middle school, she won't make it in High.

 

[Ratt Mhule]

Maybe I am too old, but back when I was in high school, bullying went on and the kids still lived afterwords. Society is to stuck on emotions these days and political correctness.

She needs to stand-up for herself and not be self-conscious. She admits to having 3 or 4 friends. Why not embrace them and ignore the rest? I had maybe 2 friends a year and always someone different. It's what you make out of your life and not allow others to make it for you. Step up and take control.

If she cannot handle middle school, she won't make it in High.

Are you saying bullying is okay bc it went on when you were in hs? Shes a middle school girl, she has no idea how to step up and take control of her life. Shes reaching out for help, have a little compassion. Bullying is wrong, end of story. Im disgusted with my actions when I was in grade school and would take the stuff back in a heart beat if I could.

 

[UGAHusker]

Maybe I am too old, but back when I was in high school, bullying went on and the kids still lived afterwords. Society is to stuck on emotions these days and political correctness.

She needs to stand-up for herself and not be self-conscious. She admits to having 3 or 4 friends. Why not embrace them and ignore the rest? I had maybe 2 friends a year and always someone different. It's what you make out of your life and not allow others to make it for you. Step up and take control.

If she cannot handle middle school, she won't make it in High.

I don't agree with this. I got in way more fights/talked a lot more trash (got it and gave it) when I was in middle school than in high school. I feel like people settled down a little bit in HS; yeah, stuff still went down, but middle school is the worst. If this girl can tough it out for a year, she should be fine.

 

[holvy83]

I remember vividly how evil and ruthless girls can be at that age, the girls in my class were absolutely horrible to other girls about the way they dressed or acted. I was in 6th grade in 1990 so if you can imagine we all looked like freakin nerds!! They do more damage mentally then what boys can do physically.

 

[Ratt Mhule]

I remember vividly how evil and ruthless girls can be at that age, the girls in my class were absolutely horrible to other girls about the way they dressed or acted. I was in 6th grade in 1990 so if you can imagine we all looked like freakin nerds!! They do more damage mentally then what boys can do physically.

Its not just girls. I work at an elementary school and there is tons of bullying going on, but one little boy comes to mind. He is one of the nicest little kids, but he has glasses and is kind of clumsy. He has very few friends, if any at all. He gets picked on literally every day and goes into the bathroom to cry. My heart goes out for the kid every single day and the only thing I can do for him is listen to him and say things will get better. I can put his bullies on timeout, but as soon as they get up, it will happen again. I even told one of them, "you know, your really mean to that boy, doesn't that bother you." His response, "I don't care." And then he laughed and walked away. These are 2nd grade boys. Okaive, if you worked with kids, you may have a diff. view on bullying bc u would want to do whatever you could to prevent it for the victims sake, but at the same time feel helpless bc u know it won't stop.

 

[holvy83]

I remember vividly how evil and ruthless girls can be at that age, the girls in my class were absolutely horrible to other girls about the way they dressed or acted. I was in 6th grade in 1990 so if you can imagine we all looked like freakin nerds!! They do more damage mentally then what boys can do physically.

Its not just girls. I work at an elementary school and there is tons of bullying going on, but one little boy comes to mind. He is one of the nicest little kids, but he has glasses and is kind of clumsy. He has very few friends, if any at all. He gets picked on literally every day and goes into the bathroom to cry. My heart goes out for the kid every single day and the only thing I can do for him is listen to him and say things will get better. I can put his bullies on timeout, but as soon as they get up, it will happen again. I even told one of them, "you know, your really mean to that boy, doesn't that bother you." His response, "I don't care." And then he laughed and walked away. These are 2nd grade boys. Okaive, if you worked with kids, you may have a diff. view on bullying bc u would want to do whatever you could to prevent it for the victims sake, but at the same time feel helpless bc u know it won't stop.

Yikes! 2nd grade?! Man if that kid didn't care what you said to him, you can already tell that there is not much discipline in him.

 

[okaive]

I never said that bullying was alright. I am saying that no matter what happens, bullying is here to stay. If the Columbine didn't take care of it, nothing will. It is the parents and yes, teachers, to take this kid aside and tell them that they are better and ignore what is being said.

Myself, I got into fights over it and then I found a way to turn it around and was not bullied ever again. I even became "that guy" who some came to for stuff (not illegal either).

As I said, this society has let emotional kids get out of control and let them become that way instead of teaching them to stand up for themselves or have them ignore what is being said. Parents need to become a parent and not their best friend and teach them what they need to know to get by.

To me, words are the same as if someone called my mother or a spouse a name. All I will do is laugh at them. I know the truth and if I get all puffed up about it, then to me that is admitting they are right. They are JUST words and nothing else.

 

[dizzturbedNUfan]

I never said that bullying was alright. I am saying that no matter what happens, bullying is here to stay. If the Columbine didn't take care of it, nothing will. It is the parents and yes, teachers, to take this kid aside and tell them that they are better and ignore what is being said.

Myself, I got into fights over it and then I found a way to turn it around and was not bullied ever again. I even became "that guy" who some came to for stuff (not illegal either).

As I said, this society has let emotional kids get out of control and let them become that way instead of teaching them to stand up for themselves or have them ignore what is being said. Parents need to become a parent and not their best friend and teach them what they need to know to get by.

To me, words are the same as if someone called my mother or a spouse a name. All I will do is laugh at them. I know the truth and if I get all puffed up about it, then to me that is admitting they are right. They are JUST words and nothing else.

Excellent post! +1 to you sir! Couldn't have said it any better myself.

 

[bennychico11]

I never said that bullying was alright. I am saying that no matter what happens, bullying is here to stay. If the Columbine didn't take care of it, nothing will. It is the parents and yes, teachers, to take this kid aside and tell them that they are better and ignore what is being said.

Myself, I got into fights over it and then I found a way to turn it around and was not bullied ever again. I even became "that guy" who some came to for stuff (not illegal either).

As I said, this society has let emotional kids get out of control and let them become that way instead of teaching them to stand up for themselves or have them ignore what is being said. Parents need to become a parent and not their best friend and teach them what they need to know to get by.

To me, words are the same as if someone called my mother or a spouse a name. All I will do is laugh at them. I know the truth and if I get all puffed up about it, then to me that is admitting they are right. They are JUST words and nothing else.

I agree with you that parents need to have more of a role in their kids' lives. But I don't agree with you saying that society has let emotional kids become wimpy. Kids shouldn't have to stand up for themselves. They should just be allowed to be who they are. Some kids are introverts and may pick up traits from their parents. They may not have a choice of what they wear and may gravitate to hobbies that others think are 'nerdy'. Others are extroverts...are popular and think that others who aren't shouldn't be talked to.

If you were out in a bar and saw some adult male getting picked on by a bunch of guys because he was nerdy or whatever...would you just sluff it off and say, "eh, he needs to learn to stand up for himself"?? Instead of teaching kids how to survive, I think we need to teach by example.

It's sad what goes on during high school and the preteen years. I think back to things I said to other students in high school and what other "bully's" told me when I was in elementary school. I wish I could go back and take some things back that I had said. Maybe been a better friend to some of them. I'm thinking of one in particular who committed suicide during my junior year of high school. It hit me hard. Because he's one guy I remember actually laughing at or saying hurtful things too. Today I'd NEVER say he was just being too emotional and needed to stand up to those who were bullying him. Instead I questioned why I said mean things to him? What kind of person did that make me? Because he was different, that was okay for me to insult him?

Instead of having parents tell their kids what they need to know just to get by, those parents need to be involved in the bully's lives and tell them how to treat other human beings.

Don't get me wrong. I wish bullied teens could realize that high school isn't the end of life. I remember being upset during high school because of grades or what someone had said to me...and I thought it was the end of the world. Once I graduated high school, went to college and moved out of state, I found out there was a whole new world. No one cared what happened to you in your past.

 

[okaive]

Disclaimer: before you read, I apologize for the rant. I wrote, went back and inserted then skipped a few, so I hope it makes sense and not just a ramble (which it probably is)

But I don't agree with you saying that society has let emotional kids become wimpy. Kids shouldn't have to stand up for themselves. They should just be allowed to be who they are.

All kids should be allowed to be who they are, this I definitely agree with. Now the part about not having to stand up for themselves I cannot agree with. If a kid doesn't stand up for himself when he is young, he more then likely won't as an adult. All the time at work there are adults (both genders) getting stepped on by bosses or other employees to do the crap work, not get the raise and so on. It is their fault for not standing up and saying something. This is a trait that you learn when you are young. Bad part is, most of them complain about it to those who will listen. They don't complain to me anymore because I will tell them what they don't want to hear (mostly everything that I have said in this thread and do tell them it is their fault).

We, also, as a society have made our kids weaker. Sports in some schools don't allow the taking of scores and tells them that everyone is a winner. This is a very bad concept. This doesn't allow the kid to be competitive and have the feeling of a loss or know how it really feels for a win. The girl in the video herself has already admitted that she is close to cutting (this by itself is part of a weaker emotional society).

Also they allow every kid to play regardless of weakness. Again, taking away from competitiveness that is needed as an adult. I can see allowing kids when they are 5 to 7, but after that, they need to know what is expected of them.

The Govt tells parents that they need to suffocate their kids by praise and beauty. Again this is falsehood because it doesn't get them ready for middle school or high school. They are being constantly being told that they are great, then when they get to class, they realized and being told they suck. Something that they will basically get hit with a brick because they aren't expecting it.

Instead of having parents tell their kids what they need to know just to get by, those parents need to be involved in the bully's lives and tell them how to treat other human beings.

Parents aren't and will never be able to tell another parent's kid how to behave. Would you like for a parent to come to your kid and tell em how to behave by their code? You would be up in arms over it. This is why you have to be on YOUR own kid and teach them how to survive in a world that is getting harsher and harsher by the day.

 

[Ratt Mhule]

All kids should be allowed to be who they are, this I definitely agree with. Now the part about not having to stand up for themselves I cannot agree with. If a kid doesn't stand up for himself when he is young, he more then likely won't as an adult. All the time at work there are adults (both genders) getting stepped on by bosses or other employees to do the crap work, not get the raise and so on. It is their fault for not standing up and saying something. This is a trait that you learn when you are young. Bad part is, most of them complain about it to those who will listen. They don't complain to me anymore because I will tell them what they don't want to hear (mostly everything that I have said in this thread and do tell them it is their fault).

Some kids are smaller and weaker than others and may be too scared to stand up for themselves for fear of being beat up. Not every person is the same. Me for example, I don't like controversy and try to avoid it at all costs. Do I stand up for myself, yes, but I do it in a respectful manner. Some kids just resort to anger. Some just shut down. Some wait for someone to stand up for them. I see it everyday at work. And it is def. not their fault the way they are.

We, also, as a society have made our kids weaker. Sports in some schools don't allow the taking of scores and tells them that everyone is a winner. This is a very bad concept. This doesn't allow the kid to be competitive and have the feeling of a loss or know how it really feels for a win. The girl in the video herself has already admitted that she is close to cutting (this by itself is part of a weaker emotional society).
Also they allow every kid to play regardless of weakness. Again, taking away from competitiveness that is needed as an adult. I can see allowing kids when they are 5 to 7, but after that, they need to know what is expected of them.

What about the kids that don't play sports? That is another thing that is wrong with this world, if you don't play sports, you must be a nerd. And if a kid wants to do something, they should be allowed to do it, regardless of talent. What is that telling a kid? You can only do things your good at, if not don't even try. You do know childrens brains work differently than adults, right? If you tell a child this, they may think of themselves as a failure and shut down.

And as a coach, I don't have any problem with not taking scores at a very young age. Maybe this is why parents are freaking psycho when it comes to sports (I've been an umpire, so I know first hand). Maybe this is why two Dodger fans sucker punched a Giants fan on opening day and now he is in a coma (father of two btw) bc they were taught at a young age that winning is everything. Screw sportsmanship, win the game! The first baseball practice I had with my team (9 year olds) I told them that yes, winning is nice, but we do things the right way. No trash talking, no disrespecting opponents, umpires and coaches. And if we lose, we shake their hands and tell them good game. Sportsmanship is more important than winning and keeping score and we need to teach kids this at a young age.

The Govt tells parents that they need to suffocate their kids by praise and beauty. Again this is falsehood because it doesn't get them ready for middle school or high school. They are being constantly being told that they are great, then when they get to class, they realized and being told they suck. Something that they will basically get hit with a brick because they aren't expecting it.

The problem is not parents giving too much praise and love to their kids, its not giving enough praise and love. Once again, this is why our world is so screwed up. Parents don't teach their kids love and compassion, they teach them how it is okay to use violence to stand up for themselves. Maybe this is why a young teenager was gunned down in broad daylight on Wed. here in Omaha for standing up for his friend in a non-violent way. Oh man, that kid disrespected me by not allowing me to beat the sh#t outta his friend, I'm gonna shoot and kill him! This world is already screwed up, the last thing we need is to be teaching our kids violence is okay, you can't do something if your not good at it and winning is everything so do whatever you have to do to get ahead in this world.

 

[krc1995]

Good luck on changing parents. As a high school teacher most(not all)the parents fall in one of the following categories

A. Welfare magets. Hooked on drugs/alcohol. Zero motivation to raise their children to be any different then themselves. Many are second and third, maybe even fourth generation magets.

B. One parent working, other parent part of another family and doesn't have time/desire to raise first family

C. Two parent family, both working too hard to have adequate time/energy to raise their kids because they have to pay the rent/food for group A and juvenille facilities for both A and B. Most of their money is going to pay tuition so their children can avoid groups A and B

Before you thrash me that your the best parent, know that I teach high school in a high poverty area in the South and the bullying here is unbelievable. I think the bullies come from all the above groups- rich kids picking on poor kids, ignored kids picking on other kids for attention, poor kids angry about the hopelessness of their lives. The future in this area is bleak.

And as far as the evolution of bullying, yes it is not a new concept. But with the advent of the internet it has really taken on a new meaning. The days of Wally Cleaver standing up to the big boy in his class and getting a prideful black eye are over. In that sense Columbine really did change things forever.