Hawkeyehusker Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Are you a Liberal, a Conservative, or a Redneck? Here is a test that will help you decide. You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a thug with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have just seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ----------------------------------------- Liberal's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a cup of coffee and try to come to a consensus. ---------------------------------------------------- A Conservative's Answer: BANG! ---------------------------------------------------- Redneck's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ... Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?" Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?" Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!" Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 Redneck here Quote Link to comment
Nigel87 Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 I can fall either into the conservative or redneck category. As soon as I saw Glock I was thinking of shooting. Quote Link to comment
rawhide Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 45 is better. scarlet neck with a creamy complexion. Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I let you guess what I am!!!! Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I let you guess what I am!!!! REDNECK Quote Link to comment
BIGREDIOWAN Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I let you guess what I am!!!! REDNECK Actually my category wasn't even on there!!! I would have taking a grenade inserted into his mouth pulled the pin and kicked him directly in the nuts and ran like hell so I could watch the fireworks!!! ..........................it's really early forgive me!!!!! Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I let you guess what I am!!!! REDNECK Actually my category wasn't even on there!!! I would have taking a grenade inserted into his mouth pulled the pin and kicked him directly in the nuts and ran like hell so I could watch the fireworks!!! ..........................it's really early forgive me!!!!! That falls under redneck Quote Link to comment
Axl_sued_me Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 I'm compassionate, and I also believe in science and logic. Therefore I am............. Quote Link to comment
huskernumerouno Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 I'm compassionate, and I also believe in science and logic. Therefore I am............. an :asshat Quote Link to comment
Redman Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 Liberal The reason that the liberal probably got attacked is he actually took time to think about his options and the ramifications of those actions. He also probably took time to think about who his actions affected beyond his own self. Conservative The conservative shot the guy in the head. Seconds later the consevative got bludgeoned with a big-ass baseball bat from behind. As he lie on the ground facing the guy he shot in the head, he realized that the guy was trying to save him and his family. Redneck Unloaded into the charging guy many times. Then dug trough his wallet and found his home address. Went to the guys home and unloaded into his family and raped the guys dog. Then, the redneck went to the corner bar ate a 1/2 dozen hard-boiled eggs (the ones in the large shiny jar behind the bar). To celebrate his accomplishments, the redneck went down to the nearest tattoo parlor and got a very nice new tattoo of Jesus waving a confederate flag. Quote Link to comment
rawhide Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 How did you know? ceptin' for the dog thing ain't into that kinda kinky stuff. It be a skers flag. Quote Link to comment
Redman Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 How did you know? ceptin' for the dog thing ain't into that kinda kinky stuff. It be a skers flag. Quote Link to comment
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