10 Ways To Enhance My Football Viewing Pleasure

[Hoosker]

Why do football players always have fat moms?

Edit: there's no punch line. Serious question.

i didn't know you played football?

Listening to Woman by Wolfmother made that Cosby gif 1,000,000 times funnier.

lol!

 

[tschu]

tschu's list of things that need to be done away with to enhance my viewing pleasure:

1. Those silly green fields. Why? Why is seemingly every football field a bland shade (or shades) of ordinary green? Boise State and Eastern Washington or whoever have it right. Let's add a little bit more flair to these games.

2. Hard hits. Not only are they physically jarring to watch and medically awful for the players, but they give our children terrible values! Imagine the whole generation of murderers and rapists that will be roaming the streets due to watching too much football at a young age.

3. Deep passes. Why? These long plays take all the strategy out of the game. There needs to be a limit on the length of pass you can legally throw. 10 yards, max.

4. Instant replay. Who wants to see any play more than once? And if you weren't paying attention, screw you you moron!

5. Buffalo wings. Come on. Discarded legs and wing pieces that are deep-fried and covered in disgusting buffalo hot sauce and ranch? Ugh.

6. Beer. Disgusting beverage, really. Yeah, lets take some old barley and mash it around and let it rot for a little bit and put bubbles in it. Yeah, bubbly rotten barley juice. The f#*k are you idiots thinking drinking this crap.

Anyways, enjoy the rest of the season!

 

[Ratt Mhule]

9) Coaching interviews at Halftime. You’ve all seen it, a coach begins running off the field with his team at halftime when he’s suddenly intercepted by some woman reporter asking “Coach, how are you going to come back in the second half”. You all know what the coach wants to say (“Get the f**k out of my face) but, of course he can’t say that so you get stuck with generalities that mean absolutely nothing. It would be nice to hear “Coach, how are you going to come back in the second half” “Well, you stupid piece of s**t. Obviously, we’re going to come back through the locker room tunnel…now get the f#ck out of my face”

We'll be fine. We'll be fine. We'll be just fine.

 

[Blackshirt316]

I know you were making a joke but on a serious note. The first coach that answers the question "how will your team come back in the 2nd half" with "through that tunnel over there." will officially be my 2nd favorite coach.

 

[huskerfan92]

Why do football players always have fat moms?

Edit: there's no punch line. Serious question.

i didn't know you played football?