Cy the Cyclone
Starter
Just happened to get a confidential copy of this meeting and thought I would share it:
NCAA Football Rules Committee Meeting
November 6, 2008
Section One -
New Rules To Be Instituted For 2009 NCAA Division I Football
Sub-Section A –
Big 12 Conference
Due to the changing political climate in America that emphasizes equality and hope, we will institute the following proactive rule changes for the 2009 season. We can’t be caught behind the curve this year. People want change!
#1 All players currently under scholarship with schools in the South Division will hereby be released from their respective teams and put into a dispersal draft. All teams from the North Division will be eligible, based on their 2008 conference records, to select from this pool of players…the number of players to be selected based on current need of the North school. For instance, Missouri would be eligible to receive 3 players based on their record while Iowa State would be eligible to select 33. All players selected will immediately be part of the North team’s roster. Their scholarships will continue to be paid for by the South team that signed them.
#2 All Big 12 teams are hereby restricted from recruiting players from their own states or any states that have a common border with them. For instance, schools located in Texas will no longer be able to sign recruits from Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, New Mexico or Arkansas. Nebraska will no longer be able to sign recruits from Nebraska, Iowa, South Dakota, Colorado, Wyoming or Kansas.
#3 Any team that takes a trip to visit a recruit will be required to take a representative from all other Big 12 schools with them so that each and every school will have an equal opportunity to recruit the player to their respective schools.
#4 All teams will institute a “no-cut” policy for their football programs. All who come out will make the team. All coaches will be required to play every player for a minimum of 15 plays per game at any position he so chooses. This includes physically and mentally challenged players pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act. All players will receive a full-ride athletic scholarship. Funding for these scholarships will be raised by instituting a stadium wide “seating tax” which will be added to the price of game tickets.
#5 All team members will henceforth be referred to as “participants” and not players.
#6 There will not longer be a Big 12 Championship game. Instead, the Big 12 will have a gala ceremony at the end of the season where all players will be issued pink “participant” ribbons. The Big 12 will also discontinue the practice of ranking teams within the league by their Won/Lose record. All teams will be ranked according to the number of games they have participated in.
#7 When a flag is thrown during a game, the penalty will not be charged against individual players but against George W Bush.
New Rules Summary –
These are just the first seven rules to come from our committee. I am sure there will be more to come. By taking a proactive stance now, we can avoid a lot of problems that I’m sure will pop up when the new administration takes over.
NCAA Football Rules Committee Head
Stu Pidass
NCAA Football Rules Committee Meeting
November 6, 2008
Section One -
New Rules To Be Instituted For 2009 NCAA Division I Football
Sub-Section A –
Big 12 Conference
Due to the changing political climate in America that emphasizes equality and hope, we will institute the following proactive rule changes for the 2009 season. We can’t be caught behind the curve this year. People want change!
#1 All players currently under scholarship with schools in the South Division will hereby be released from their respective teams and put into a dispersal draft. All teams from the North Division will be eligible, based on their 2008 conference records, to select from this pool of players…the number of players to be selected based on current need of the North school. For instance, Missouri would be eligible to receive 3 players based on their record while Iowa State would be eligible to select 33. All players selected will immediately be part of the North team’s roster. Their scholarships will continue to be paid for by the South team that signed them.
#2 All Big 12 teams are hereby restricted from recruiting players from their own states or any states that have a common border with them. For instance, schools located in Texas will no longer be able to sign recruits from Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, New Mexico or Arkansas. Nebraska will no longer be able to sign recruits from Nebraska, Iowa, South Dakota, Colorado, Wyoming or Kansas.
#3 Any team that takes a trip to visit a recruit will be required to take a representative from all other Big 12 schools with them so that each and every school will have an equal opportunity to recruit the player to their respective schools.
#4 All teams will institute a “no-cut” policy for their football programs. All who come out will make the team. All coaches will be required to play every player for a minimum of 15 plays per game at any position he so chooses. This includes physically and mentally challenged players pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act. All players will receive a full-ride athletic scholarship. Funding for these scholarships will be raised by instituting a stadium wide “seating tax” which will be added to the price of game tickets.
#5 All team members will henceforth be referred to as “participants” and not players.
#6 There will not longer be a Big 12 Championship game. Instead, the Big 12 will have a gala ceremony at the end of the season where all players will be issued pink “participant” ribbons. The Big 12 will also discontinue the practice of ranking teams within the league by their Won/Lose record. All teams will be ranked according to the number of games they have participated in.
#7 When a flag is thrown during a game, the penalty will not be charged against individual players but against George W Bush.
New Rules Summary –
These are just the first seven rules to come from our committee. I am sure there will be more to come. By taking a proactive stance now, we can avoid a lot of problems that I’m sure will pop up when the new administration takes over.
NCAA Football Rules Committee Head
Stu Pidass
