A story of a man named Knapp. As told by Huskerboard

Knapp, as he had come to be widely known by everyone due to the highly popular Knapp Slapp, was on top of the world. However, his insistence to refer to the newfangled cutoff Jean shorts as sheans placed him at odds with society's overwhelming desire to call them jorts. This led to....

 
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led the charge in the fight for social status as those who were faithful Jort-ites opposed Knapp and his fervor to change the status quo. Knapp built an empire of......

 
After Knapp had established attention of his rallying misfits at memorial, He stood at the podium only to discover....

 
... a large vat of refried beans, which for some mysterious reason, was sitting right next to the podium. Covered in a gooey layer of refried beans, Knapp then and there hatched a scheme to ...

 
get Gary Johnson elected President.
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...by creating the 'Presidential Refried Bean Wrestling Royal Rumble' in which he invited all the presidential candidates. The contestants all wore sheans while battling in a tub of refried beans and the winner would be the last one with their sheans still on, but...

 
They all fell over dead. As it was written in the clause, Mel Gibson would become president. Gibson anointed Knapp to become....

 
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